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    tictoc
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    <p>Hi Sisters, </p><p>I need to tell the story of my continuing life with the SA.  First of all, as you may remember my sons are privy to the information that my husband cheated and that we have an unusual family life with an in-house separation.   Overall, they are doing well  (e.g., maintain friendship circles, good grades, advanced classes, church youth group, emotionally connected in conversation with me, etc.). Dare I say they are doing as well or better than any kid from a “good” family.  As is the case with most SA’s I am their main source of emotional stability.  The SA plays the part of the dad, but ONLY playing the part not FEELING the part.   I am a very deep person and check in with my son’s often.  I love both of them so much. I only get to walk the earth with a select few spirits and I am privileged to know them so intimately.  </p><p>Recently, my oldest son found a compromising text on his Dad’s phone involving another woman.  With a heavy heart, he brings up this issue as we are riding in the car one day.  I pulled over the car and told him that I knew that information and asked him to remember back to when his father said he had been cheating.  I explained things to the best of my ability for a teen son.  I included the fact that we have an open marriage which can be better conceptualized as an in-house separation.  I told him that whatever was to happen in the future he would always be ok.  I hypothetically asked, “What if we lived in an apartment?”.  I further explained that I could make enough money for us to live in an apartment near his school and that he can literally walk to everywhere he needs to go.  I said I would be a support and that he is growing up so fast that there would always be stability there.  If we live in tight quarters we just get to be more cozy and clean less.   I also mentioned that he can always ask me any question either alone or the three of us with his father present and I will always answer honestly.   I said that it is important that only age-appropriate information be given so when he is developmentally ready to ask the question I will give the answer.  I explained that his dad had cheated and had a double life with dating apps.  I didn’t go into the prostitutes. </p><p>so ……. that’s some of what is going on but stay tuned for more cuz I don’t want to accidentally lose this post. </p>

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