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A month ago, my husband told his co-pervs, in their weekly group meeting, that we had Disclosure #1 upcoming. My husband, who is like a parrot in that he repeats things without thinking about what they mean or how they come across, told me one of his classmates commented on the disclosure “Your best day will be her worst day.”
I was so freaking out about the disclosure that it clunked up against my mental filter as a problem, but I didn’t check it out. But later it came back to me and haunts me.
Why on earth would disclosure be their best day? WTF? I’m pretty sure that if I had to have a meeting to describe to someone who loved and trusted me the many ways I’d betrayed them, that it would one of my worst days ever, and include lots of crying and heartfelt pleas for forgiveness. But apparently it is one of their best days.
Is it because they are absolved of all sin and can then go forward with a clear conscience? Is it because they get to hurt us under the guise of doing a good thing for us and the relationship? I know I will never be able to understand it, but somehow my brain keeps trying to reconcile the unreconcilable…
Some of the time I think I was in a terrible plane crash 16 months ago and this is hell.
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