Our last Christmas together

Posting here as the link to post under children isn’t working.

I’d say this week was just as terrible as I imagined it would be.

I held my 3 year old son as he cried staring at all of his dads stuff packed up. He asked me why his dad had to go live at a new house and why we weren’t going with him. Everytime I leave the house my son wants to know why I don’t kiss daddy goodbye. My heartaches for my kids, this is the last Christmas we are going to spend together as a family.

The love bombing has stopped and now I feel like we are just 2 strangers occupying the same space. He mostly just ignores us and stays in the basement. I decided to read through his journal yesterday , I don’t know why as I usually regret it afterwords. My husband has kept a journal for as long as I can remember and he makes no attempts to hide it in anyway, almost as if he’s inviting me to read it. His latest entry reflected on how much he missed me and that he really hates the thought that I might be with someone else in the future. Not once in any entry does he ever talk about his family or the kids . I found that odd, does he just not think of them ? I guess not. When I told him how upset our son was he just shrugged his shoulders. I thought maybe I didn’t get my point across , let me tell him again. The second time I told him, he just got this smirk on his face. Part of me does not really think he has that many narcissistic personality traits but then he acts like this and it pretty much confirms that it is in fact what am I am dealing with. On the TikTok app they have something called NARC TOK . There are tons of videos about narcissistic abuse and there is a self aware narcissist by the name of Lee Hammock, he gives an interesting perspective from the narcissist view. I have really learned a lot from watching these videos. There are also a lot of motivational speakers, therapists and women that roasts their lying cheating husbands 🤣 if you want a good laugh or to be uplifted check out the app. I always thought it was something for teenagers to post stupid videos on but there is actually a lot of great content on there.