Thank you so much Diane.
I really think I’ve turned the corner. Oh, I hope to God that I have… because I’m so tired of suffering… of feeling so G-D hurt and like I’ve lost so much time and lost myself, in the process.
I’m working hard on my REAL blog and its giving me a new-found energy, which I also hope lasts. I was using my innate creativity… but using for lowly dark purposes… like torturing my pathological boyfriend.
wtf???
and for what? why would I do even do that, for one minute?
But, I’m grateful for that experience and I will tell you why.
I’m grateful for it because I won’t make that mistake EVER AGAIN, when I am single. I got it ALL out of my system. I know what to look for and can sniff out all of the red flags which always present themselves.
Its so funny how people DO tell us the truth about themselves. They do… but we don’t really listen… we chuckle, or dismiss it, or deny… after-all…
he doesn’t really lie (all the time), or he doesn’t SEE to have any sexual dysfunction with ME. (no, not now, but he WILL)
of course, he will!
any problem he with another woman will present itself with us too… we are not “special” or “different”— not when it comes to their issues.
Today, I actually asked my husband to come for a drive with me… (well, actually to help me pick some stuff up from a client). But I didn’t have to ask him.
and it was alright.
but, I still want out of the marriage…
he isn’t going to change…
and the only way either of us has any possibility of changing… (and GROWING, and realizing our fullest potential) is to go our separate ways…
It wasn’t like that in the beginning, but it became that way, over time…
and the trust is gone.
I can’t live with a man that I don’t trust.
But, he can still program my web site… and lift heavy boxes.
He’s good for that.
😉