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Hi all,
I would say I was doing pretty well with everything and have no doubts about my marriage being over. This past week though, Ive hit a rough patch and now Im going to start antidepressants which I think is taking care of myself, although Im not a big pill taker. I know I need them and will help me.I know my XSAH wants to reconnect at some level (not reunite the relationship-we both know its over) but I can’t do it. I think of all the bad things hes done to me and don’t think I could ever feel differently. I dont trust him at all and he’s still trying to manipulate the divorce. I dont think Ive ever had such resentment for anyone in my life and I’m a very caring and loving person.
Anyway, for those who have gone through a divorce does it get better. Right now Im tired and ready to just say “whatever” but I know I won’t. Would appreciate any helpful comments. Thanks! 🙂
NAP, I haven’t been there, so I can’t offer that type of support of someone in the same boat, but I did read that when you go through a divorce you experience the 5 stages of grieving as in a death: 1. denial and isolation, 2. anger, 3. bargaining, 4. depression, 5. anger. And sometimes the stages flip flop and go out of order. So I just thought maybe it would help you to know that what you are going through is normal, and it WILL get better. I admire your courage. Hang in there; you don’t have to be strong every day. Love, Zumbagirl
Hi NAP,
ZG is so right. We do flip flop and go back and forth. Sometimes things set us off and we backslide. It happens.
Is the 5th stage anger again, freudian slip. Googled stage 5 is acceptance.
As I have said before i am still angry and it comes and goes. Most days i am fine. I am still angry for the lies and years of it. Also angry at myself in ways, because i allowed it for so long nad doubted myself. But i think this all takes time, alot of time. And we do the best we can. Love,
FloraWhen I divorced (many moons ago) I remember having all those emotions and sometimes repeating several of them. My ex-husband (who was NOT an SA) was very needy. After we seperated and filed for divorce he would call me crying begging me to come back. My son was only 5 at the time and living with his Dad and I had to go over to the house at 2 a.m. just to calm him down and check on my son. He was so depressed and just losing it; I didn’t want him to wake up my son or have my son see him in that condition. After calming him down, I slept on the couch, then went home later that morning to shower and go to work. It was like taking care of 2 kids and I thought for a while that maybe I shouldn’t divorce, but later that day my ex suddenly was a big strong man and back to being his normal self as if that night never happened. So, the emotions will come and go, go up and down. You need to stay the course, no matter the current exposure.
I really wish I was nearby, NAP. I would love to be your close friend and be there for you at a moment’s notice.
Take good care dear friend. Love CB
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