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Hi, I’m hoping you ladies can help me. I have recently peeked at the desktop computer, the one my daughter uses for playing Webkinz and Barbie games, and found “cookies” placed on the computer by several porn sites. There’s a program called CCleaner by Piriform that is also on my computer.
Since I would have sworn on a stack of Bibles a mile high that my SA couldn’t have turned the computer on, much less installed a program that would clean away his tracks, I’ll completely blown away.
I do not know that he did install the program. That is speculation. We did have this computer in the lab to have it fixed after it crashed from a virus. (since all of the pictures from my dd’s childhood were on that computer, I had no option but to try to save them!) So, I guess it’s possible that the technician put that program on. Possible.
So I have this program on the computer. I don’t know that it is necessarily harmful to the computer, but don’t know that it will play well with other programs. I am interested in having some sort of monitoring program installed as well as some sort of child-safety software. I do not want my daughter “happening” upon something my SA has been looking at.
I need help figuring out all of this. It seems that Eblaster will send me reports of everything that is happening on that computer…. and he won’t know anything about it. Will the CCleaner detect Eblaster? Will it negate what it does? Do I need to remove the CCleaner?
And what will work with Eblaster to keep my DD safe? And truthfully, if I have the proper software installed, SA shouldn’t be able to access those porn sites, right? Then the only thing I would need the Eblaster for is for keylogging/monitoring, right? Because I wouldn’t catch him at porn sites because they would be blocked, right?
I’m sorry to sound so stupid about all of this. It’s just that I can’t let him know that I know yet… I don’t want to upset the apple cart right now… and I definitely need to make sure my dd’s safe. Proving he is accessing porn is not what I’m about right now. I would love to have access to any banking, email, etc, I can just for INFO (for convincing him to give me full custody!) and those sites wouldn’t be blocked by child protection software.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!!
Thanks!
Paula
arrrggghhh computers!!!
My geek SA hubbie once taught me an acronym, for the KISS method
Keep It Simple and Stupid
Throw the damn thing in the trash.(where it belongs) Buy a new computer that is ONLY for your DD. Give her a password, that only you and she know, to get on it. Go ahead and put the monitoring software on there.
just my thoughts…
yeah, but she cannot really do that without alerting him that she is on to him right? Sorry I cannot help Paula. It took me about 2 weeks to figure out how to post a topic on here. 🙁
Paula, for what it’s worth, when I took my laptop to my local computer store for a tune up, the techs installed CCleaner (as well as SuperAntiSpy and Glary Utilities) without telling me (or asking me). I don’t know the answers to your technical questions about the program, as I’m pretty hopeless with that stuff. I believe they’re free programs (at least they were for me). Hopefully JoAnn or Flora will know the answer to your tech questions. Good luck! Liza
Thanks, ladies!
Lexie–if I could buy a new computer, I would! First off, I don’t want him knowing I’m on to him. Remember, I have NOT told him I know about his SA ways. I haven’t mentioned the secret cell phone or the stash of porn I’ve found or all the receipts I’ve discovered. And I’m desperately saving every penny to be able to leave. So I just can’t go out and buy a new computer. Even though that would solve the immediate problem… it won’t be long-term because if she and I leave and she has visitation with him…. then she’ll still have access to that nastyness.
Thanks, kmf, me too! I’m still finding my way around here too… and I’m usually pretty savvy. I think my brain can only hold so much before it starts shutting down!
Liza—well, then, that makes sense. It makes me feel a lot better that they might have done it. Not that I approved it, but at least that he didn’t know how to do it and wouldn’t know to look for it!
Yes, I’m hoping some tech guru will be able to help me figure this out! Please!!
Paula,
I’m not tech savvy either, but I have eBlaster and had those same questions. When I installed it I called the company and they answered all those questions regarding detection, etc. On one occasion they walked me through disabling the firewall and then turning it back on so it could run in the background with no problems. Also, I do know that unless you know what to look for, you would not be able to find any trace of it on any computer.You can block any site you want. And, enter a few keywords in case your H discovers new sites to replace the ones you’ve blocked (and there are thousands). Its quite the handy dandy tool, and the tech support is wonderful.
JoAnn knows a lot more, however.
LindyOh, I forgot that your h doesn’t know that you are on to him, and my answer was pretty glib, because IMO, a SA should not HAVE a computer, but that’s not gonna happen, now is it? However, I do think that if you were to separate, that DD needs her own computer with its own blocks/monitoring and not be allowed on her dads (and vice versa)– for obvious reasons. My son found his dad’s porn when he was 11. Just found this out a few weeks ago. He’s 21, with severe AD/HD and I worry about him. But, he sees a therapist.
Hi Ready,
I’m so sorry that you have to go through all this stress of having a young child in the home with a Sex Addict. It’s a dangerous situation and I’m glad that you are aware enough to know that you have to protect your daughter.
First, those cookies mean that someone visited those sites.
Second, cc cleaner was probably put on your computer when it was in the lab. Just uninstall it. It won’t hurt anything but you don’t need it.
Third, eBlaster is not found by any other programs and will not be removed by any other programs including cc cleaner or anti virus programs.
The horrible thing about porn is that porn blockers do not block all sites. The porn industry has gotten very creative with their website development and have ways around most porn blockers.
And, even if you did have porn blockers in place eBlaster would still see EVERYTHING–what web sites were visited, what search terms were typed, any chats, e-mails, etc. In Private browsing does not stop eBlaster from recording either.
With eBlaster you can block certain sites (url’s) or block sites that have certain words anywhere in the site. If you see a site come up that you don’t like you can add that to the blocking area and it will be blocked.
There is no reason to throw your computer out, there is nothing wrong with it, and, there is no reason to buy eBlaster and a porn blocker, they both do the same thing, but eBlaster also sends reports of everything done on the computer.
If you have any questions please don’t hesitate to ask. I am a dealer for eBlaster and if I don’t have answers I can get them directly from the company.
Take care sweetie, we are here to help you and your daughter.
Thank you, ladies, for all of your replies. I am serious about keeping my daughter safe. If I don’t, who will???
I’m also determined not to let my SA know yet that I am on to him. I’m trying to think through possible scenarios where I can block her from those sites without blocking him…. so that he doesn’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to raise his suspicion at all.
So, I’m thinking that I need to establish user accounts. I have this on my laptop, with all kinds of passwords, and am thinking about doing that on the desktop.
If I were to set up user accounts on the desktop, would the eBlaster work on all of the accounts? Can I have different levels of security on each of the accounts? I would like to leave his as open as possible and have hers as closed as possible. Again, protecting her and not letting him know what I know.
And, while I’m asking questions, is there a specific internet security program that works best with eBlaster? I need to upgrade all of the security on our computers and have used Norton previously without problems. Just wanted to make sure before I purchased it.
Thanks again for the help and support!
Paula
JoAnn, one more question to add to the ones above….
If, by some crazy reason, my SA has installed eBlaster on the desktop computer (or on my laptop, both of which are now password-protected), if I also install eBlaster on these computers, will it negate his installation? Or will it just tell him I am tracking him? Will it still work for me or will his installation be the alpha/primary install, even if I install it after he did?
What will happen if the same program is installed twice on the same machine?
Thanks for your help with this!
Paula
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