the cyber-straw that broke Lexie’s back

Okay, forget what I said about “needing” my husband to hang out for a while yet, while we get back on our feet; I was exhausted and feeling
overwhelmed and I’m sure that I will again and again… but……………..

I’m sure… you were all scratching your heads going… “okay, triple L, whatever…” (thinking, well, lets see how long this lasts)

Alright, alright, alright… calm down!!! 😉

you were right.

he’s going to be gone by the weekend.

why?

I will tell you why.

About 10 days ago, he suggested that since I’ve been doing so well, I should get a tablet, (like an I pad, if you don’t know), because the prices have come way down and I really need one for work to show clients stuff in their homes instead of mooching off of their computers.

So, he helped me pick one out and it arrived on Friday, I think. I was so shit-faced inundated, that I couldn’t even look at it until last night.

I told my h that he could fiddle around with it, to see how it worked. Fine, he did that. no problem.

So, last night, I had some time, and I turned it on… and let me tell you, this tab thing is the coolest thing ever… Its a Samsung Galaxy and when you turn it on, its like taking a trip into outer space… and then I took it over to my h who did the little finger pinching thingy to open up the screen, excited to get started…

when what fresh hell do I find awaiting me?

Welcome to Horde

Server [pop3 server]
Username [ ]
Password [ ]
Language [ ]

he had been looking at his fucking email which is still locked up tighter than a drum… and I was furious! This was MY brand new tab, and already he had infected it with the his filthy slime.

what is fucking wrong with me????????? why have i allowed him to behave in this manner and for years and years and years?????????

I’ve been thinking a lot recently, how I am prone to accept a LOT of really DISGUSTING BEHAVIOR from men. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure that one out.

Alright, it is perfectly possible that he was not necessarily doing anything he shouldn’t have been doing, but seeing THAT email program, that I’ve never heard of and also that is entirely different from what he chose for me that he says he doesn’t like. (its good enough for me, but not him) and the word HORDE, which sounds an awful lot like WHORE, triggered me right back to all of the TIMES, discovering all of his slimy, SECRETIVE, shit on his email–that HE SWORE NEVER HAPPENED, but actually DID HAPPEN, that he had been hiding from me for years and years.

gotta pull one over on the little dumb Misses. God forbid I go after my hot wife for some hot sex! Gotta find someone else… Anyone, as long as it isn’t *HER* Gotta tell my hot ginormous boobed paramours that laurel’s tits are small and then gotta tell my ex-fuck buddy in Israel ALL ABOUT my conquests and how much I DESERVE to have them!!! (after EVERYTHING I’ve been through) and then, so that I can really DESTROY laurel… I’ll just leave it ALL OUT IN THE OPEN ON HER LAP TOP SO THAT SHE CAN SEE WHAT A HOT SEXY, HORNY MAN I REALLY AM, THAT SHE CAN’T HAVE. HEHEHE…

laurel be damned!!!!!! stupid cunt!!! I’ll just deny that I actually had sex with any of them, no matter how many times she asks and begs me to tell her the TRUTH! she doesn’t get the truth. she doesn’t get anything from me, but I’ll check her oil once in a while, just to show her what a “good guy” I am.

And NOW… once again, he does not consider me at all… and cavalierly didn’t bother to close the program, not that I could see anything, but that IS THE POINT!!!! I CAN’T FUCKING SEE ANYTHING. I don’t know what he is doing or chatting with or who is writing him, that shouldn’t be.

I was absolutely LIVID!

I got no apology for him. No, “Laurel, I’m so sorry, I did not mean to upset you, I’m a thoughtless idiot. I’m really sorry”

nothing, but telling me to calm down.

I WILL NOT FUCKING CALM DOWN!!!!!!!!

why should i? why should i allow him even the remotest possibility to cause me ANY further pain and trauma, simply because he’s a selfish, lying, betraying prick?

I don’t need his fucking help. I will either figure out how to do whatever he does, myself or find someone else to help me.

I know at least 2 couples who SHARE ONE email address!

I told him that if he didn’t give me the password right then and there, that he was to be out by Sunday.

Guess what? surprise, surprise… he’s going. He told me that no way do I get his passwords. He’s not doing anything wrong… and

“That is my PRIVATE email, laurel.”

I said, sooooo??? I’m your wife– still and you’ve had a secret life that I knew nothing about for the last nine years, at least,
and once again, you are rubbing my face in your shit and on my brand new virginal tab– that is MINE, MINE, MINE!!!!
PAID FOR WITH MY FUCKING MONEY!!!

“I cannot give you, my passwords, laurel–

I don’t trust you.”