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Please welcome our new Sister, One Of The Sisters.
One wrote in her profile:
I have been dealing with my husband’s SA for almost 18 years and need some support. It has been so healing to know that I am not the only one out there. Your other site(married to a sex addict) has been so helpful and helped me feel so much stronger.
Welcome One (maybe you would like to use your first name?). You will find support and friendship here.
Take your time, browse through the topics and comments and just jump right in. Everyone will welcome you with open arms. You are not alone.
Love and hugs ~ JoAnn
Hi there, oneofthesisters,
welcome. Sorry to hear you’ve been living with the SA thing for 18 years. YOu must be exhausted emotionally and mentally etc. I hope you find some helpful information and discussion here, a little touch of silliness and humour, and also the support you need for whatever is ahead for you. Lots of opinions here, so it’s never dull.
lots of light
Diane.Welcome, One of the Sisters,
I am sorry for what you have been dealing with for so long. You are definitely not alone. In fact, you got me thinking that I have probably been dealing with my husband’s SA for 20 years, but only recently had a name for it, thanks to two big d-days. I hope you find as much support, knowledge and comfort here as I have. A big welcome!Love, Julie (Zumbagirl)
Welcome, Oneofthesisters. You have found a wonderful place to be in the middle of all the trauma you’ve been going through for such a long time.
Love, Annie xoxo
Welcome, One of the Sisters, glad to meet you, but sorry for your situation. You’ll feel right at home here! Love, Liza
Welcome, OneoftheSisters- You will feel so welcome and loved here. We all have developed a real bond while traveling our journey’s in a life with an SA., and you will too.
I have been on M.T.A.S.A recently, so don’t know if I have posted to you or not. If so, I will welcoming continuing.
Love, SharronWelcome oneofthesisters,
May you find comfort and support , we welcome you with open arms. Please feel free to post, share and ask question if you’d like. These sisters are really special!
Love, Nap
Thank you so much for the welcome and love. i will be posting my story soon enough but for now I’m just reading, reading, reading… And feeling better in some ways and worse in others. My husband is white knuckling it too. (After a 9 month seperation) Don’t know why in the world I came back. Financial, fear, lonliness….Do any truely kick this without therapy?
He checked into therapy (only after I told him that I am leaving again) but we really cannot afford it. We are on the verge of losing our house and everything anyway….
Hi One of the Sisters,
A big, warm welcome to you. You will love that you found S.O.S. – it comes with amazing women who are strong and very supportive. Strength comes in numbers and you have that here. Oh, NO THEY DEFINITELY DO NOT OVERCOME THIS WITHOUT THERAPY!! I am learning that mine struggles daily and that is with all of his resources there to help him. He is almost 7 months into SA 12 step groups, he belongs to 4 different groups for love and sex addiction and that is 4-5 meetings a week, he goes to AA (he is 16 months sober – he used alcohol to help cope with his sex addiction) and he also sees a psychologist who specializes in sex addiction weekly. In between all of that he sometimes has to call his sponser for strength, etc. The SA symptoms really emerged once he quit drinking. He didn’t have anything to self medicate with, come to find out sex addiction is his primary addiction and alcohol is secondary. He drank to deal with his sex addiction and he is now learning that his sex addiction is how he has dealt with stress, anxiety, hurt, etc. since he was around 15 years old. He is 35 now. Needless to say our couples therapy that we started a couple of years ago is what started to uncover a lot of what he was dealing with and it has been a domino effect ever since. They cannot survive alone, THERAPY IS A NECESSITY!!
Stay strong sista and positive. We have your back 🙂
~ Shaken
OneOfTheSisters,
My H white knuckled it for the first 5 years of our marriage.
(if he is to be believed).He thought the right marriage to the right person would solve his problems. (he had no idea those problems were SA) But he had been one since he was about 12 and handeling it himself never last.I believe that as with any addiction, the cause lies deep and without help it won’t be found or dealt with. The “symptom” of addiction will not just go away without treatment of the underlying cause. Hugs, Kim
ShakenNotBroken is right. They absolutely have NO chance of recovery trying to do it alone. This is denial they have a problem on the SA’s part. My husband went through the same process. He made a slight effort towards counseling and then dropped out. He quit his porn addiction 2-3 times for short periods of time, but always went back to it. He is 3 years into therapy, still has big issues and I am filing for divorce.
It is difficult, if not impossible in most cases, to recover without future slips and relapses. The younger the SA, the better chance for recovery.
If he agrees to seek out therapy, it most likely initially will be to save the marriage. That’s a start. You need to set some firm boundaries for him and insist on both of you going to counseling. (separate therapists). If he does not agree, you have nothing to work with.
Glad you are here with us, and we are all here for you whenever you need us. You will find more love and support on this site than you ever believed possible.
The sister’s have gotten me through many trials and tribulations and they will you too.
Love,
Sharron
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