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I think I have probably looked at every page that comes up when I google sex addiction. The same is true for PDs associated with it. I have downloaded, purchased or read online so many books that have been written on the subject, in an effort to understand why SA happens, what the SA is going through and what it takes for recovery. I have sought out help on this site, through counseling and support groups to educate myself – anything to gain any insight into what happened to him, what he was going through.
I wonder if my ex ever googled anything about what partners of SAs experience.
Ellen
No would be the short answer. Sorry but it’s true. I know my H got an earful from Minwalla but if I try to actually talk about it ( as I stated in an earlier post) then he gets his feelings hurt and plays victim. If I am crying and distraught he does ok. If I turn rational … All bets off. If they really gave a shit how we felt then they wouldn’t have f’d hookers to begin with. The only reason any of them ( that I know of) starts to care is because they get caught. I doubt there has been much effort on their parts to research and read about how we are affected. They wait for us to present ” boundaries” then they expect a parade for not ” slipping up”.
Sorry again… Color me disgusted with the whole thing.
A SA googling the term “Sex Addiction”? No possiblity of that ever happening. For one thing, as soon as they typed in the first word “SEX….” and then Google did it’s auto search thing, well you know where this is heading. And of course it would then be Google’s fault they fucked hookers.
Ellen, I think these guys are cowards.
They would never seek anything that might make them feel unpleasant sensations, or ask anything of them that their penises don’t want to do. I think the internet is a single function tool for them.I know for sure mine didn’t. I installed tracking software on the laptop after the latest discovery. He has googled for car parts suppliers and looked at football scores. Not a single search related to “recovery” or a better understanding of his condition.
So far no inappropriate online activity, but I couldn’t get to his phone and it has only been 4 weeks (I think he knows he’s under close scrutiny).
They don’t do anything that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Our co-parenting therapist (who is now no longer that- she thinks there’s not going to be any “co” anything any more- just a lot of “sole”) said that that’s why my STBX is hanging out with criminals. He is “normal” with them. He doesn’t have to face that he is deviant. He is accepted and validated.
If he won’t even hang out with normal people because they make him uncomfortable, he is never going to be able to face what he has done to his family, let alone Google anything about recovery.
Mine and others on this site have put us through hell. He’s never really cared about me, ever. The things he has done, they way he’s treated me, the divorce, the fallout for my kids, my financial concerns. My h is a narcissistic sociopath. He doesn’t care about anyone. He only ‘pretends’ to care to get what he wants. A user and an abuser. I’m so sick of these AHs!
I have learned my lesson. I don’t talk feelings with him. Ever.
Before I blocked everything he would inform me how I should be feeling. And how I was not following the program, not getting on board with this all being over and behind us. Not showing compassion and Christian forgiveness. Odd how mistakenly forwarded craigslist ads, and pics from your iPhone, when you swear you don’t have internet access will do that.
His understanding how I feel is not even a fantasy of mine. If he had the capacity, we wouldn’t even be here.
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