- This topic has 15 replies, 9 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
What a week. I keep waiting for the next catastrophe. Nothing really serious, but frustrating.
First of all, I received a dozen yellow (My favorite) roses on our Anniversary from Steve. He ruined Valentine’s day a year ago, Valentine’s days this year, and got me nothing for my birthday this year. Well, he did take me out for dinner. Since I was getting ready to move out, it wasn’t the most pleasant day for me. The roses were beautiful, but a little late in the scheme of things.
Then, this week, he called to tell me he is having a rough time, but really working on his addiction. He started disclosing, and I listened attentively.I did not believe a word he said. He caught himself up on a couple of his stories -as usual. I just told him it makes me angry that he chose his addiction over me, and that it makes me sad that he ruined the best thing that ever happened to him.
Anyway, he was the least of my problems. First, the garbage disposal cracked and spewed water everywhere.
The next night I was stepping on the flooring directly out from the dishwasher. The wood subflooring was raised, as was the tile floor. Called the plumber. He did not know which caused which, but said the pump on the diswasher went out. That bill was $300. The manager for our development said he and his crew will repair the floor and install the new dishwasher, I had to buy, for around $800.
Then, I have to purchase new tile. Luckily, I have the $6400. Roth IRA that Steve put in my name that I can pull on.
Today, I went to transfer Missouri driver’s license to Kansas. Now keep in mind that my passport was my I.D. to get the Missouri license even though it was in my previous name prior to Steve. Kansas won’t accept it, so had to call Steve and have him send me a copy of our 2 yr. old marriage license. Then, I have to get Kansas plates for the car, but can’t do that until I get the driver’s license. They expire 4/30. I hope next week goes better!
One positive thing is I see the attorney on Thursday to see the best way to proceed with the post nump. She told me it will have to be worded in terms of a property settlement because, of course, a judge would not honor alimony for life in a two year marriage. Plus, his family could contest it if he should pre-decease me because it would then come out of his trust. Then, will have to meet with her and have Steve present. Hope he is cooperative in whatever works best for me.
Hope everyone is doing well-as well as can be expected, anyway. Why is life so complicated???
Pam-C I read what your husband said – what a dick!! Have you ever thought of doing an at home castation?
I have written a book here, but sometimes it helps to get it all out.
Hugs to everyone.Sharron,
Sorry you have had these annoyances. I will be sending good thoughts and prayers that your meeting goes well with Steve. This will be a big test of his integrity where th money is concerned.
Hope you are cozy back home.
Love, Debora
Sharron,
I remember soon after discovery, it seemed like everything around my house was breaking- the garage door opener, the sink, the toilet, the bathtub…it was all I could to deal with the crazy husband stuff and taking care of myself and my kids. I felt like I was going to lose it if I had one more thing around my house break down. One can only take so much!
And then I spend an hour at the Fed-Ex office trying to send something off, and no one could figure out how to print out a label. I sat on the floor and started laughing hysterically. I think they thought I was crazy.
This kind of stress we go through just makes everything so hard to deal with. I’m sorry you are going through it all. Sounds like you had one heck of week.
Hi Sharron
It sounds like you are handling things really well on your own. Challenging week!
Glad you are remaining strong. I know there may be lonely moments at times, but I hope you have freinds around you to help ease time.
The flowers. why do they always send flowers? well the thought is nice, it does mess with your head. 🙁 though.keep busy Sharron.
Hang in there, Sharron! Cheers to you. You will get through all of these aggravations, and look back and realize how strong you are. Be proud of yourself. You are so far ahead of so many of us. I hope SL reads your post, because I’ll bet she can relate. She’s sent me so many texts while waiting at the bank, dealing with her driver’s license, you name it. Hopefully, someday later it will be something to laugh about, rather than something to tear our hair out about.
Steve sounds so typical…no gifts, ruined holidays. Then too little, too late. Same old story. Many of us could have written it. Ugh. 🙁
Hang in there!Love, ZG
Thanks Everyone-You always come to my rescue.
Debora-Yes, it will be a test of his integrity. I guess I will find out what he is made of!
Teri-It must be a test of our strength! I can only laugh about it now .Sorry you had to go through all that too. Ya have to wonder when it will end. This too shall pass.
Pam-C I guess the flowers are supposed to make up for all the times he f—-d up. Although I did appreciate them, it is a day late and a dollar short. It did not mess with my head. I think I am more realistic about his addiction than he is. He still believes he can beat it. Delusional. I am somewhat lonely, but certainly not because of Steve. The only thing I miss is the good times we had, which were few and far between. It is just the adjustment of going back to square one. I don’t miss his games, lies, and deceiving at all. I do have a strong support system. Friends and family.
Zumbagirl- Isn’t it amazing how SA’s seem to have the same MO. It is like they are all born with the very same brain. Their behavior is so predictable.
Steve wants me to give him six more months before I file for divorce. I guess he thinks there will be a miraculous recovery. I feel bad for him, (empathy) but no way-no how would I ever think about going back to the same-o same-o. How many times would an SA think we can go through this. The reality of the situation with those of you who have hope for recovery is there is really NO way we can ever know for sure they have changed. Especially- after living apart. They will do what they want to do, and we are clueless. JoAnn is one of the rare exceptions.
Hey-When are we going to plan another retreat. I am definitely ready for a get-away and am so anxious to meet you all who have helped me through so many dark days. LET’S DO IT .Maybe JoAnn will have some ideas on how we can make that happen.
Love you all,
SharronHi Sharron!!
Yeah, it was my lawyers idea “to prove a point” and have me go back to my maiden name! WHAT A PAIN IN THE ASS!!! I have been AT LEAST TWICE to the SS office, the license branch AND the bank (at least 5 times at bank!) New accounts, address changes, the name changes, etc. Post office for address forwarding, ugh!!! The list goes on!! Sooo over it!!!
No wonder, even As crazy as I am about Darren, I will put off marriage!!! Even if its only for above pain in ass reasons!!! Lol!!!Hang in there sister!!! It will get better!! I promise!! I’m ready to plan a retreat!! I hope everyone will come down here to Tenn! I have cabins and boats we can use!! But I will travel anywhere if we decide on something else!!
But don’t forget peeps, I REALLY can pull a party and some meals together!!!! 🙂
Love,
SL
Ummm…SL…not to hijack the thread…but just a thought as you reinvent yourself: have you ever thought about being a party planner? Own your own business. I just thought of it, and I had to post it right now, because it’s so perfect and so you.
And Sharron, it would be so awesome to meet you (and everyone!!) at the next retreat! Don’t let Steve talk you into holding off, if you know in your head and gut what you need to do!!
xoxo ZG
Hmmm….. Not a bad idea, ZG!! That may even work on some level at this huge marina!! (weddings, party’s, vow renewals, etc) Food for thought! Thanks!!!
Sharron, sorry you had such a crappy week. You’d think the universe would just take it easy on us during such difficult transitional times.
I believe the only time it’s nice to get flowers is when it’s for ABSOLUTELY NO reason at all–like they just fell out of the sky for you just-because. Then, they mean he was thinking about you and thought you’d enjoy them. In all other cases– birthdays, anniversaries, ‘Sorry I was an asshole’…they seem the easiest way to get out of a spot. You can sit at your desk or in your car and order flowers. Hell, you can order flowers WHILE you look at porn. My SA sends his mother flowers for everything. He really doesn’t like her at all, never wants to talk to her…And I’m supposed to be touched when I receive them?!
Fuck these fuckers.
Sharron I will be in town in Sept. Would love to at least call you if we can’t meet up. Let me know
Sending prayers for strength 🙂
Hi For-now I would love to meet you when you come to K.C. in Septembr. I can meet you on the Mo. or Ks. side. I am right on the state line. My phone number is 913-766-0961. My cell is 913-832-3470. What is your number? Let’s talk.
SL – I’m hangin in there. I guess all this mess just goes along with the territory. That would be awesome to have a retreat in Tenn. I have been there and it is beautiful. How shall we go about getting another one together? I’M READY. Lets take a pole and see the best central place would be for all of us-Hell, I don’t care if we just rent a nice motel somewhere and party party.
Zumbagirl-Not to worry-Steve is not going to talk me into holding off. I just have to get all the financial arrangements in the post nump. That will probably take 6 months at the rate my attorney is moving.
March- Ya, the flowers didn’t count for much in my book. Steve is rather tight with the money, or he just doesn’t give a fuck. There were many times when he could have offered up a nice present and chose not to do it. My sister found a beautiful necklace she thought I would like for my birthday. I hinted at it and Steve ignored it. It was $400. I guess he didn’t figure I was worth it, especially since we were planning on the separation/divorce. I hope that is not an indication as to how he is going to play the game with the post nump. When we first drew it up,he was so stressed, that he dissociated in the meeting and triggered on a gal in the room. Way to go Steve!! Lets’ hope he is of sound mind this time, or maybe better he is not. Ha! I am the only one that witnessed that little episode, so it is not known that he actually did it. He recognized he did it when I called his attention to it, because he lost time and did not remember how many women were in the room.
Sharron I’ll go with you in a low cut top to distract him if you want. Maybe you’ll hit the lotto that way! I’m that kind of friend…jk 🙂
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.