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  • #4700
    hadj608
    Participant

    I have always told my kids that when life throws shit at you, be patient and you will see what good comes out of it. A few examples: when my daughter #3 got type 1 diabetes, my other daughter #2 changed majors and now she is a nurse. When my son’s best friend died, my son went through a serious depression, but now he holds the value of life in a different light. daughter#4 was bullied so badly I moved her to a different school where she got so involved with diversity she planned and ran her own diversity challenge day and principals from other schools came to observe. She will never tolerate anyone treating someone else disrespectfully. (side note: turns out the mom that started the bully shit against her……was mad at my husband, yep he messed with a crazy person)

    Any way, I was thinking today about what good has come out of all this for us.

    Can you name 5 positive things about yourself that have happened because of your discovery?

    #35019
    silver-lining
    Participant

    1. I can look at myself in the mirror again.

    2. I have found my BFF and ALL of you ladies, my sisters.

    3. My son’s prayers have been answered.

    4. I know that I love myself and was willing to go through the turmoil and sacrifices and fears to stop The abuse. I chose ME.

    5. I found a good man who truly loves me.

    I have more than 5, lol, but I will wait and post more later!! 🙂

    #35020
    kimberely
    Member

    I’ve learned surveillance techniques that actually help me keep an eye on my kids (where it should be and not on h) 🙂

    I’ve learned the road to recovery is never ending

    I’ve learned a tranquil peace kicking my h out of my house and feeling safe bc of it.

    I’ve learned there are so many women in our boat who are unaware and yet this addiction is such a closet addiction.

    I’ve learned that truly loving someone can hurt very, very, very badly.

    #35021
    diane
    Participant

    I’m not as afraid of taking a risk.

    I learned to ask for help.

    I’m happier.

    I opened up to more of life’s gifts.

    I trust myself more and treat myself better than I did.

    #35022
    hadj608
    Participant

    I am a lot smarter, stronger and have more confidence in myself.

    I will never let anyone take advantage of me ever again.

    I have discovered who my true friends are. also that some of my x-true friends/relatives were betrayers. ouch.

    I have discovered that a group of total strangers can play a big part in saving my life. (hugs -you guys!)

    I have a really healthy gut feeling/intuition that I will never ignore again.

    I feel smarter than most therapists, on this subject anyway.

    I can pull myself out of hell.

    #35023
    cindy1111
    Participant

    I have discovered that a group of total strangers can play a big part in saving my life. (hugs -you guys!)

    ditto, ditto ditto

    Who knew??????

    #35024
    ksondy
    Participant

    1. I learned that I had become so absorbed into my husbands life that I was no longer living my own.
    2. I Have taken the time to explain pornography, societies awful views of woman, etc, to my children that I may not have otherwise.
    3. I got to meet all you wonderful ladies and make a new local friend and hopefully a regular “pop in” friend.
    4. My husband has been kissing my bootie.
    5. I have gotten the motivation to get off my ass and start to DO some of the things I keep saying I’ll “eventually” do.

    #35025
    nap
    Participant

    1. I’ve learned life is too short to be married to a sadistic sociopath.

    2. I learned ‘the other side’ is really nice and healthy.

    3. I learned most of what I feared never happened.

    4. I learned my life is beginning not ending.

    5. I learned who I can trust and who I can’t.

    6. I learned the value of being resourceful to help myself be in a better place and to take really good care of my well being.

    7. I learned you can find people who really care and are sincerely supportive (SOS).

    8. I learned I could write ???

    9. I learned Claire had mini mules.

    #35026
    hadj608
    Participant

    I like these! nap – I won’t tell anyone if you really fess up to being a famous author!

    cindy it cracks me up that a group of stranges know more about me than any one else!

    I’m adding to mine:
    My daughter #4 (the one who is shiney like her dad) switched her minor to Women in Gender studies and is considering Law school now because she is so appauled with this sa thing and the objectificaton of women that she wants to fight! And her therapist said she is nothing like her dad and wont go down his road because she had me for a mother not his mom!!!!! Made her day!! squelched her greatest fear.

    #35027
    march
    Participant

    I’ve held back on this, because I have a hard time admitting that ANYTHING good could come of what he did to me. But there are some things that have happened–that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t been knocked down so violently and low that I had nothing to lose by taking risks: I’d have never gone back to school at 46 to become a counselor. I’d have never gotten a tattoo (now I have two of them). I’d have NEVER gone to the beach alone, which turns out to be wonderful and something I’ll do again and again. I might not have picked up some of the new hobbies that have helped keep me sane–the nesting dolls, shrines, jewelry making, sewing…which are all things that make me happy and make me feel artistic even though I have no skillz. And, yes, I’d never have met all of you and been part of a community of superwomen, hell-survivors, forge-aheaders, passionate-compassionates, revolutionaries.

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