Support Group for Widows

Sharron,

I’m starting to think that when we first started finding out how bad and deep their sa’s are we see them as dead and gone so we go ahead and bury them. This roller coaster bs of addiction we deal with is the long awaited funeral that never, ever fucking ends. These funerals take years and years to end. The dumbass fucking lying, betraying cock suckers had the easy part….they got to die while we are left in reality to wrap up their loose ends.

D day is truly that-DEATH DAY- within the first few discoveries we realize our dream guy is dead, hope like hell they will return all the while wishing it’s all a bad nightmare then we wake up and REALLY realize they’re truly forever gone, they’re never coming back no matter how hard we wish and pray. All we end up with his ghost that won’t give up and go the fuck away.

No I’m not bitter at all. I’m so ready to slam his coffin shut. Hard. So hard the hinges break on the lid.

If we’d been widows:
1) People would have been sympathetic
2) We could be allowed to look like crap – after all our husband had died
3) We would have received care and consideration and
4) No one would have asked what we did / what our part is in it
5) We wouldnt be worrying about money – life insurance could have paid out
6) we would be grieving something real – not what we thought we had
7) we wouldnt have to worry about our kids spending time with amoral bastards
8) our kids would be sad but would eventually get over it – people die all the time
9) we wouldnt be living in fear
10) we wouldnt be living in doubt
11) we wouldnt be looking over our shoulders all the time or wondering what they’re doing
12) and the list goes on but the grief would end…

THe grief would end. Please God – let the grief end!