Just When you Think it Can’t Get Any Worse

Today, in church, I look across the sanctuary and lo and behold there is Steve. I think OMG what is he doing here – plus some unhealthy words going through my head. Thought I might get struck by lightening! After church, I took my time leaving, and his car was gone from the parking lot. I thought, “This is good.”
I get home, having a smoke on the patio, and he shows up asking for a camera and CD disc I still have of his. He was very matter of fact and left.
Two minutes later he is at the door again. He asks if we can talk. Being the nice person I am, (To a fault) I told him okay but everything has been said. He begged, begged, begged for me to change my mind. I told him, “No” and he left again.
I thought all is good.
An hour later, he shows up again. Against my better judgement, I let him in. He begged me for at least 45″ to give him another chance-even got down on his knees. He re-hashed our discussion of the other night, and continued to lie and dance around his admissions. You all know, the trying to make you think you are crazy thing. The begging continued for another chance saying, “I didn’t fight for you before, but I am fighting for you now. Professed how he has made that paridigm shift, etc. Told him he has made the shift, in that he is motivated for change, but he has years to go to change it. Told him for the 100th time the lieing is still the tie- breaker and he hasn’t been able to change that. His reply was I have done much better than you think. NO- THAT’s NOT GOOD ENOUGH. I used to just tell him he was deluional, but after the denial continued, I told him he is nuts.
Long story short – same song second verse. Kept up the begging. Finally, told him I was getting angry so he said he would leave.
We discussed the settlement. I told him instead of giving me a cash pay out per post nump, maybe he would prefer to add another $200./mo to the monthly allotment via life-time annuity, whatever he chooses to do. He said, “oh, so now, you want more.” Calmly, explained am only asking for what he has signed off on.
He finally left, but with a military stance of a Green Beret. He appeared angry.
Before leaving, he had told me he was reading a self-help book last night, became very angry, and started throwing and breaking things. That kinda worried me. He has never done more than crush a coke can and punch a cigarette retainer. Hope he is not becoming violent-kinda scary. Of course, I have to consider it may have been a manipulative ploy.
Oh well, vented to for-now on the phone, as she does me, but just had to write it out to relieve my anxiety. Fixed a Margarita and was on my second at 4pm Have never had a drink in the afternoon in my life. But— I am calm now.
Don’t know what to expect next, but maybe, just maybe he will believe it when called in to sign papers next week.
Thanks for listening all. Venting is SO soothing.