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OMG – After seeing my lawyer today, any small amount of denial I had left that Steve really loved me and wanted to take care of me financially is now only a by-gone fantasy.
I knew in my heart when he begged over and over again, on Sunday,not to follow through with the divorce was only once again one of his manipulations and dollar signs flashing before his eyes – I was right.
My attorney called him today, and he asked her if the notarized affidavit to pay me $600./mo was legal. She told him it is. She got the gut feeling he is not going to be as cooperative as he said. That kind of says it all, doesn’t it! All of his promises of wanting to take care of me were just another ploy to keep me. I actually was under the illusion he loved me in the best way he knew how and he wanted to get over his addiction, but couldn’t. How wrong was that?
Anyway, there were some good things that came from my attorney and some bad ones. Now that he has purchased what was to be our home in the country, it was after our date of marriage and it becomes community property. He purchased the 1st one before marriage.This means if he wants to hold me accountable for half the mortgage payments and/or taxes he can do so. I don’t think he knows that, so it may be a mute point. God I hope this site is safe.
She is absolutely sure the post-nump will hold up – no problem. She tells me the $600./mo is considered alimony and will only be in effect for 10 yrs. Should he die, before then, it stops. Apparently, the court will not continue to pay out, even if he signed that it would then be taken out of his estate. Not a good sign.
We came up with three proposals:
1. Pay me $600./mo and honor the postnump cash settlement. (Not my favorite).
2. Pay off my Condo and honor the postnup cash settlement.
3. Pay me a cash settlement of $100,000. and be done
with it. Steve can do that by surrendering the $104,000.
annuity to me, he initially promised, to cover the
$600./mo and it will cover that amount for an approximate
15 more yrs. life expectancy.
I am opting for the Condo payoff ($56,000 that I still owe)
the cash settlement of $30,000. upon divorce, pay off the car and adhere to the rest of the postnump – Insurance’s.
He told her he does not want to cash in an annuity to pay me off, because he wants to keep them and have them continue to grow in value. Well, he can’t have it both ways – it is either put out the cash or surrender the annuity.
I really think that after meeting with her next Tuesday, he will get his own attorney and fight this. But, that will cost him more money, and since he hasn’t sold his 1st house he may not be able to put out the money.
Just had to get it all out. I just want this to be over and done with. Any feelings of empathy for this man have now turned to anger.
The best I may get is the postnump aggreement. If that is all, then so be it – I will be free of this man’ greed, lies, manipulation and addiction. I may have to get even, though. Told ya all about that in another post. I don’t go down easily. Of course it will all be within the letter of the law.
Thanks for listening. Any ideas, anyone? Hope this all makes senseSharron, I don’t have any ideas, but I sympathize with your sentiment that you want it over. You could go round and round forever with negotiations, couldn’t you, especially is Steve is uncooperative. And if you was begging you recently not to go through with the divorce that sounds like he hasn’t really accepted it- whether it is the financial cost or the emotional. My STBX doesn’t seem to realize that their are costs to his actions either. I’m guessing that’s pretty typical.
Hang in there.
Gosh Sharron they all sound good.
If you want to stay in your condo and he pays it off that would be good.If you really don’t like it there, maybe not so good to pay it off, if you want to move, and can’t sell it.
However would a cash settlement are you liable for tax on that? In the past i have had alimony paid, husband number 1, and i had to pay tax on that. However if he paid off the condo and cars, there would be no tax paid.
Just a couple thoughts. I am glad you are finally getting out for you. And glad to see there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel.
Love,
Flora
Part of me just thinks that this is a better problem to have than wondering if he’s gonna try to feel up his sister next time there’s a family dinner.
Such good progress you’re making, Sharron, whatever the hassle.
Sharron,
Choose the one you like best that fits your needs. I’m so happy you saw the truth about this man. You’ve come a long way !!!
Love, NapNo surprise here to me that he is now balking. I thought that all along, Sharron, BUT no way was I going to say it. I was too happy you were getting away from him. I am sure there are those here who think me too negative…..BUT time and time again these guys prove me right. I have NO expectations of them but they always manage to somehow spectacularly rise to the level of inferiority. Take what you can get Sharron…whatever is best for you? They don’t do ANYTHING unless there is something in it for them.
Karen xxYou guys are so right. I was afraid of that, didn’t think he would stoop that low.
I made a decision today. I am not going to ask for the cash settlement out of the post nump. I have to live with myself, and I promised him if I got the $600./mo settlement I would forgo that. I am going for car paid off, rest of items in post nump and the $104,000. Annuity he agreed to turn over to me initially, before it got ugly. Or, Condo and car paid off, but no cash settlement. He wants to pay by the month so it doesn’t touch his annuities and they can build. He can’t have it both ways. If he pays me monthly, it is alimony and it goes away if he dies or in 10 yrs. I won’t bargain on this.
I told my attorney if he does not agree to the above – go for the juglar and include the cash pay out. I am saving him $30,000 cash up front.
I don’t want to come down on his level, but if I have to, I will. At least I can live with myself with this deal. All he thinks about are $$ signs. I will keep my word – if he doesn’t he will have to pay what he agreed upon in signing post nump (cash settlement) plus the document he signed to give me the $600./mo. We shall see. If he doesn’t take my deal he is an idiot!
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