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I went to the new Attorney today, and it is not looking good.
He told me that the fact Steve signed a post-nump and a notarized document stating he will pay me $600./mo for life can mean nothing in a court of law.
All Steve has to do is say he signed them under duress, or most likely a judge will throw them both out because of the short term marriage of 2 1/2 yr. He says the most I really am entitled to by law is 20% of whatever assets Steve has accumulated since our marriage. I have no idea how he came up with that! (I guess 2 yrs. of marriage).
My other attorney told me the same thing, when I initially started with her, and then most recently told me both documents will stand up in court. I am wondering if she just changed her story to drag it out and get more money out of Steve. OMG – I could end up with nothing!
I retired early to marry this man. I bought a car thinking this marriage was going to work. I will have to go back to work at age 70 to make ends meet. $1740./mo social security will not cut it. I figured all my bills, and I don’t have any debts, but after they are payed I only have $361.00 for the month to buy groceries, gas, and medications.
This attorney did tell me that after Divorce decree is filed tomorrow, I can bargain with Steve via E-mail-he is not allowed to talk to him – only my previous attorney. I told him good luck in getting her to call him back. He says if she doesn’t, we just go to court in 60 days. He also told me that because of the no conflict of interest clause we both signed, she can tell Steve anything I said to her when meeting with her privately.
Please – anyone on here have any ideas?? Right now Steve thinks the documents will hold up, so how can I approach him? All I really want to do now is seriously hurt him. These fucker’s can lie, manipulate, deceive, and still they come out smelling lie a rose!!
Right now, he thinks he is liable for $600./mo plus what is in the post nump.
Please Sister’s – put on your thinking caps and help me come up with a plan. I really need some good ideas here.
Only one positive thing here – Petition for Divorce is being filed in the a.m It took me 6 mo.’s to get that done, and I had to cash in my only asset to pay the Retainer fee.Sharron,
I wish I could, but I was told by 3 attnys not to expect anything at all due to fact that we were married only 2 years, it would be 3 at the divorce, and they said, still, no support, no assets, nothing.
Getting half his assets is something more than nothing.
I guess I would bluff the $600 expectation for all it’s worth and step on some feet if attnys start speaking up.
I hope someone has more hopeful input.
Dear God Sharron… I am no lawyer. It sounds like your best bet is too cozy up and fool steve into thinking that if he owns up to his part of the post nup then Y`all could be friendly?? It`s a lie but I don`t see any other way. I will be thinking of you. This sucks. I don`t care how long you were married. He lied. You made plans based on his lies. Now, the only way out I se for you is to lie too….
I`ll be thinking and Praying.. hang in there and maybe just this once the cards will fall in your favor.
SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn Sharron, I am so sorry. I am convinced that attorneys and counselors all went to the same fuckin’ misogynist school of how to screw women (no pun intended).
I can only hope that somewhere along the line Steve will compromise and work out something decent.
This really sucks!
Sending you lots of love and good energy. Please, take care of yourself and just wait and see how it plays out.
Then……..it won’t take us long to decide….that Steve has to die!
Goodbyyyyyyyeeeeee Steve……
Where are the Dixie Chicks when we need them? ~ JoAnn
Deep breath Sharron. Don’t freak out just yet. You haven’t come this far just to be tripped up at the last second. I know the money thing is HUGE, but promise me you don’t lose sight of the most important thing of all: you made it out of your ‘refuckenship’ alive (Thanks for THAT lovely descriptive, Lexie!) So go pour yourself a drinky and let the wise women of SOS think on this latest turn of events…
Sharron,
If that what he thinks it’s going to be and doesn’t know otherwise, have your lawyer write up the decree with it in it, if he signs, and his lawyer signs, it’s yours. He may be so preoccupied with his sisters boobs he may think nothing of it. I sure wouldn’t say anything. You have to be shewd. Act like you think it’s okay as is and maybe they will all just sign it. That’s what I would do.Hire a well endowed hooker/stripper to show up as your “friend” at the signing… That should distract him??
Sharron,
Seriously, I know you must be feeling very badly because your money situation is really tight and it’s so unfair to you. I know one time you said your son offered to help you monthly; he really wanted you away from Steve. If he can afford it, maybe consider taking his kind offer. He maybe very happy to help you. I think you said you helped him out yrs ago when he needed it.
Love, NapThanks Nap – I can’t believe you remembered that. You have a mind like a steel trap. Ya, he still owes me $10,000. and can pay me $200./mo. to pay it off.
I just haven’t asked him for it, because right now have been receiving money from Steve. That will up the reserve a little.
Thanks, NapNap and JoAnn and Bev – you crack me up! You all may be kidding, but seriously I am at this moment thinking of ways to do him in – at the very least break both his legs.
Bev – I like your idea of hiring a gal with really big ones. When we signed our post nump in October, 2010, Steve dissociated and objectified the gal notarizing the documents. She didn’t even have big boobs. All it takes is a skirt, but he does have a boob obsession, go figure.
Thanks Lynng2 -That is how it is in Kansas. You have to be married 10 yrs. to expect any alimony. I thought I had a done deal with a post nump and signed affidavit. Guess I will just play it out and see what happens.
Thanks for reminding me of that Liza.Living in a cave would be better than living with an SA!
I love you all, and thanks for the support. What would we all do without eachother.
For-Now called me and cheered me up tonight, so that really helped my mood. I was working on my 3rd Crown, so now I feel very mellow.
I will try and play him along when I E-mail him tomorrow to work on a settlement compromise. I figure he fucked me over enough, and is such a manipulator, so let the games begin. I will just concentrate on all the lies he has told me in the last 3 yrs. and won’t have a problem.
Love you all,
SharronJoAnn – You made me think of my early days in nursing working in the ER. When we would have low life come in – guys involved in shootings and stabbings, we used our great coping skills. All the ER nurses would kid around and say, “Instead of doing a code blue, let’s just whisper in their ear, bye-bye.” Maybe I will do a little whispering in Steve’s ear.
Sure hope this site is closed. Now remember guys, if anything happens to Steve, you never hear me say this. Ha! My luck is he will get hit by a bus tomorrow.Hi Sharron!!
Thinking of you on my front porch in Tennessee! Stay calm, I think it will all work out. I’m with Bev, lie your nice ass off, be fake nice to the fucker and just get it done. Steve knows that you made these financial decisions based on being married to him and he knows, deep down, he screwed you over. I doubt any of that matters to him- but we also know how he operates. Give him a little taste of his own medicine. Even act like you will be friends/consider dating him, blah blah…whatever it takes to get it done. Once you have the signed decree in your hand- give him a big, Fat, ….SIKE!!!!
🙂
Hi silver-lining- Well, the petition is filed. YA! talked to my attorney today and I don’t think I am going to have much luck in the settlement department. He asked me what Steve’s problem is and I told him fat lady porn and objectification of women. He just said, “oh”. I really don’t think anyone who has not been exposed to addiction really understands it. The attorney did tell me that after looking over the post nump, he saw where Steve’s previous attorney advised him not to sign it – he followed that by, “I wouldn’t have signed it either.” He thinks Steve is nuts for doing it. Well, we know he is nuts, just hope it stands up.
I E-mailed Steve today, on the advice of my attorney, and laid out the different scenarios and reminding him he promised to turn over the annuity and my agreement to take the cash settlement off the table if he would do that.
If I don’t hear from him by tomorrow, I think I can be well assured he is now using my attorney to fight this.
It is really good to hear from you. Your life sounds wonderful, and I am so envious.
Love and hugs,
SharronHi Sharron.
In CT you may not be entitled to any support payments …but even if you are married for a month…you are entitled to half the assets that were obtained while you were married. So even if he used “his” money for the down payment and even though he may have purchased it just in his name…it is a communal asset. Just as any other investments that have appreciated and his retirement. 50% of the differnece in value from the date you were married to the date of the divorce. So if he had $5000 retirement two years ago, and $10,000 now, the difference is $5000 and you should get half. It does not matter whose name it is in…Just as all the debts acquired during the marriage should also be split.
Maybe this will help?
Flora – It is so good to hear from you. Everything is such a mess. Steve is still trying to sell his house in ks. before we moved to the country – is taking a big loss on it. Decreased the selling price from $380k to $319k. He obviously put a down payment on the house in the country, (I think 10%) but overall am sure he will claim a big loss. As for his IRA’s – am not sure whether he has made a profit on them or not. He took out a Roth IRA last year and has to pay $41,000. in taxes this year, as he did last year, for taking it out. Nothing of his is in my name and vice versa. I am afraid all he can and will claim are losses. I will have to look into the IRA’s since married, and although they have not decreased in value and continue to grow, am not sure they will offset the loss on the other house. Plus, I am told since he purchased the house in ks. before we were married, I have no financial responsibility, but since he purchased the house in the country after we were married, I can be liable for part of that.
This is all so confusing – I hope my attorney is good at what he does. I will do some homework on my own, because I have access to his financial accounts.
My attorney tells me I would only be able to get 20% profits out of him, because I think in Kansas you have to be married 10 yrs. before you can collect alimony. But, I still have the post nump that I hope will hold up in court. Probably not.
Thanks for the advice, and I will really look into this. You are so sweet to take the time to try and help.
Hope you are doing well, and hugs to you.
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