Home discussions Relationships I will fight that fucktard, Ahole, Narcissist, SOB

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  • #5447
    harmony1
    Participant

    The fucktard has his sister visiting from out of town, she is a narcissist just like him and she has been feeding him, so he has been escalating with his attitude and threats,

    I am so sick of all of this going on now for over a year and a half, he has never went to any counseling, he has never admitted that there is anything wrong with him,

    I tried so hard but he left me with no choice but to come to the desicion that I need to keep my kids away from him, he is a sick narcissist and if he does not overtly abuse them he will somehow manipulate them, control them , abuse them emotionally and they are too small to be able to tell me what is going on or to stand up for them selves, So it is my duty as their mother to protect them from this man,

    since our separation we came to an agreement that he will have them two evenings a week and every sunday but a lot of time I would go with them to his house,

    but I got to a point where I can not be with him any more and I can not let them go there by themselves,

    I am just sick and tired, sick and tired

    Here is the email I sent him:

    (( You are a man with no shame, how dare you after what you have done to your family to even consider talking to me like this not alone getting Maria and Elaine involved in this sick stuff that you have done,,,,, but your lack of values is beyond anything I have ever imagined, you are nothing but a wolf in sheep cloths no I think even the wolf will be ashamed to resemble you as even these animals don’t do to their family to their children, their own flesh and blood what you have done to yours,

    for the sake of few sexual thrills , few empty sick orgasms with shameless women just like you, you destroyed your family you destroyed the beautiful gifts that god has given you pursuing that prostitute for many years during our marriage, that whore was married to the biggest con crock man in town when you were taking her out of town on vacations to fancy hotels and going with her on shopping spree spending my money, my children money buying her the most expensive clothes and jewelry from Neiman Marcus and other alike places,,,,

    I Had no idea what was going on behind my back for years, I would trust you when you tell me that you are going out of town on meetings that you are on meetings not going out to please yourself with that women and have endless perverted sexual intercourses with her and others, I was petrified, shocked, when I discovered all this about you,

    How dare you, how dare you do all this to me to your children, I trusted you, I trusted that you loved me, you loved our children and you were protecting our back, I did not imagine in a million years that you were capable of endangering me and my kids in such ways by exposing us to criminal low lives,

    my world as I knew it came to an end I saw my kids future destroyed by their own father, I could not stand on my feet for months , I could not eat, sleep , I was crying, my mind could not comprehend all what has happened all the discovery of that secret dark life of the man who I chose to be my husband and the father of my children, , I saw horror in my own home, I saw lives being destroyed my life and my children lives, I was in pain, so much pain I could not catch my breath, I did not know what to do any more , but I had to hold myself from falling apart for the sake of those children, I prayed to god, I prayed days and nights for lights for guidance, I was at a loss…but for my kids to keep an intact home for them I swallowed my pride, and I tried to come closer to you, I gave you a second chance, I pegged you to seek counseling and you told me that you had changed and that you will never cheat on my again and I believed you, but you are a liar nothing but a liar who lived all your life lying to everyone around you about who you truly are, you are a man with no values and no shame as after giving you a second chance I discovered to your dismay that you are still pursuing that whore, you are a man with no shame so anything and everything you can do you will do for the sake of your sexual thrills,,,,

    How shameless are you after I had given you another chance to repair the damage you had caused for the sake of those children for you to keep pursuing her again, how dare you go into her place snooping around her house hoping that she would be out walking her dog like you had told me so you can hook up with her again, then for you to call her and pursue her even harder , but even that whore was sick of you and your games and she told you that you are a liar and a cheater and to back off as she does not want anything to do with you,,,after I had discovered what you have done again you broke my heart and broke any hope I had in any possible repair or restoration of this family,

    I was sick to my stomach to find out the extent of your immorality, lack of remorse and guilt

    But for the sake of my children and to protect them from their own shameless father, I kept trying and trying

    Shame on you, shame on you, shame on you that you dare to even look at me and talk to me like this, shame on you for being the man you are, for being immoral, sick, sexual pervert,

    You don’t deserve to be in my life you don’t deserve to be in my children lives, these children , these innocent lives deserve a good decent father who does not lie, who does not seek the lowest women in town to have his twisted sexual needs fulfilled

    You never cared about those children when you were here, now you are pretending to care about them, you are sick, pervert and manipulator, you care about no one but yourself and your selfish and sexual needs, so let me make it clear to you, you stay out of my life and out of my children lives and go pursue all these whores who walk into your office and have sex with as many women as you want, as it does not concern me anymore but just don’t come near me or near my children any more , you are an adulterer, you will always be an adulterer and while I cannot do anything about it and about all the crimes you committed against me and your own kids but there will be a day for you where you will be punished severely for all your sins.

    you are a sick criminal, I get so sick to my stomach when I think of all the perverted sexual acts you have committed, your constant insults, I will never forget when you told me that you were so proud of yourself to quote you “fuck the wife of a gang “that this whore was much better than me because she comes all over herself, that she is a real woman and I am not”
    what a sick man would even think of saying things like this to his wife and the mother of his children, what a sick man would destroy his family in such ruthless ways, you are so sick and have no conscious and no virtues to stop you for committing the worst crimes,,,

    So Let me make it clear to you more clearer to you , don’t you ever come near my home or my children or I will have the police arrest you for your criminal acts ))

    #48977
    cindy1111
    Participant

    Harmony,

    The pain in your words are palatable. I am glad you were able to get some of your feelings down on paper. I know it is an exhausting thing to do, but it seemed to help me when I was in some of my darker times. The situation that we are in leads us to protect everything that we have, especially our children. I see strength in your words and that is good. Continue to believe in yourself and trust that you know what you need.

    Giving you big hugs and hoping that you will have moments of peace during this bumpy ride your on. Keep holding on to yourself with all that you have and know that we understand what your feeling.

    XXOOO

    #48978
    diane
    Participant

    I understand the frustration and rage of your rant. It’s all appropriate and directed correctly.

    I don’t know how much it will help but I hope you feel better getting the ugly out. Be prepared to follow through on any threats of repercussions.

    #48979
    lynng2
    Participant

    Harmony,

    I am crying for you in frustration, rage, and also a happiness that ONLY those who have lived with SA could fathom: that you found your strength and determination that it ENDS now. You and your children

    #48980
    lynng2
    Participant

    Are and will be your focus. That is healthy. That, not the shredded relationship with a remorseless addict/asshole, offers hope. Honestly I think there will be less fighting to leave than you expect. Well maybe to get finances settled, but I would let an atty handle that. Your SAH obviously is focused on his addiction as you stated. You will win!

    #48981
    teri
    Participant

    Harmony,
    I am so sorry for what you are going through. But your anger is totally understandable and I applaud you for telling it like it is and venting your rage and pain.

    You’ll have to let us know what happens. I know whenever I tried to vent my feelings to my STBX, I only ended up feeling even worse because he would twist what I said and try to use it against me or accuse me of having “rage issues” and being “mentally unstable”. Who wouldn’t be pissed as hell at about this? I think it only shows how normal and healthy we are if we are angry and want to yell at them!

    #48982
    harmony1
    Participant

    thank you ladies for you your support, yes I am in so much pain and I am very angry, I had tried over the last 20 months to keep something going on between me and the fucktard for the sake of those small children, but I got nowhere with him, My anger and frustration with his acts and behavior had just gotten worse,

    The problem is I don’t think that I can get him out of my life totally as we have those little children and that is going to be the main focus of our fight

    I am not going to allow him though to be alone with those kids ever again, he is abusive naricissist , he does not truely care about them and I am afraid he is going to use them one way or another to get back at me

    Teri, he is already accusing me of being paranoid, with hallucination and severe depression, I think my SAH and yours are the same kind, they belong to the lowest most ugly species of the fucktard narcissist aholes, he is using very similar tricks to what your h had done with you,,,,
    My plan is to weaken him down until he breaks down before I file for divorce, he was almost there but his bitch sister came to stay with him so he is acting up again,,,

    #48983
    nap
    Participant

    Harmony,
    That is the best, most honest letter I’ve ever read in my life. You definitely know who you are, know what you will and won’t tolerate, will protect your children to the nth degree. I’m honored to be your sister, sister!
    Love you! Nap

    #48984
    diane_d
    Participant

    I know I have discovered an amazing place as I read this letter. I feel all of those words. As I am on my second round of discovery and it is not a relapse because I found three years of evidence in our family “hulu” account. When I think that my daughters (4 and 8) could have stumbled on it. Makes me sick.

    I have worked for three years in counseling. During that time I wrote a novel at night. The week that my novel launched I asked him if I could throw a book launching party. He stated, “Maybe you should see if anyone even wants to come.”

    “What I asked?” I just put a book up on Amazon. this is a big deal and I need you to celebrate me. I am not asking for much. Just a sign and cake that you make with our daughters or a $9 bracelet from Target. Anything to show them that you are proud of what I have accomplished.

    He proceeded to yell at me, “Oh I’ve been waiting for it. Waiting to hear how I am a failure.”

    I was calm and simply asked, “Can you please stay focused on the matter at hand. I never said you were a failure. I asked you show your daughters that you love and respect what I have accomplished.”

    He cried and made dinner. “WTF,” I thought to myself.

    Then that night he sent me and email from the living to our bedroom stating, “Here is an email I sent. See I support you.”

    I decided to ignore it and go on to watch an episode of Glee. Not knowing the last one I had watched I looked in our history and there it was. All of it. Three years of it. I had never looked. I thought we were better. I thought we were doing this together. I did all this work!!!!!

    I asked him about it and he denied it over and over. I could not believe he could lie to my face. I asked him, “Would you want me to lie to you like this.”

    I am done and leaving with our girls tomorrow. He simply said, “Okay. Should I sleep on the sofa?”

    I said, “I don’t care where you sleep?”

    He had the gall to sleep in our bed that night so I got up and left for the porch.

    The next day I asked him to go to treatment not to save our marriage but to save his life.

    I am scheduled to talk with him on Friday. UGH!!! Why do I need to talk to him? Why can’t I just be done and make it all go away?

    I did this whole book “Courage to Heal” with a therapist and couples therapist. I took on the whole thing that I must have attracted this due to my painful childhood issues and sex abuse. Well, I’m done now.

    I have rented a house somewhere else and moved the girls. I emailed him before I left of all my plans.

    Oh and here’s the other thing. I run a major business and have had to keep it all together for our business. I am so done.

    Sorry to write so much…this post just triggered it all from three years ago when I really was in a daze and lost and empty. I am still in a daze but also in some serious action mode to make a safe place for my girls.

    I HATE HIM!!!

    #48985
    harmony1
    Participant

    Napp, you made me cry, to know that someone like you does feel me and see me did really touch my heart and my pain,
    while this man who lived with me for years and fathered three children with me has never seen me, and never knew me and here you are , you had never seen me or heard my voice but read my words and you are able to see through me and know me for who I am, thank you , I am so in debt to all of you here

    Diane, this men are so selfcentered, it was impossible for him to celebrate you, he can not understand what it means to love and care for another,,,it is all about him and his sick desires
    I hate him with you, I hate all these sick men, i feel like I am going to throw up just to think of how many sick men are out there hurting many beautiful women like you, hurting their own children

    but we have no choice but to leave and to move on and do everything in our power to protect our kids….

    #48986
    harmony1
    Participant

    here is his response, and he had forwarded my email and his response to both Maria and Elaine ( our friends who he has been trying to brain wash for over a year now)

    (( like I told you many times. You really need to see a psychiatrist. You need medicine . You also need to stop your verbal and emotional abuse to me .enough is enough . I don’t want to be around your Negative energy and I don’t want you as a wife until you get help . For 8 years you abused me , neglected me and treated me like dirt , this simply has to stop . Again I’m reminding you that we have a signed and notarized child custody agreement that you and me signed in your lawyer office 5 /17/2012.. You need to respect the agreement and stop violating it that you already done too many time . Please let’s act as civilized people and don’t drag the children in our ordeal . There will be no winners if you push in this direction . I will NOT tolerate your manipulation to the kids agreement . You need to get psychiatrist help or if you don’t , you need to stop your abuse to me and respect the child custody agreement ))

    as some of you know we are still married but separated for over 20 months,, I pushed in may to have this agreement signed to protect me financially but he insisted that we have the custody issues addressed ( which was strange as we are still married but in there we made it that I have the kids majority of the times and he would get them on tuesday and wed evenings ( 5-9) and on sunday but a lot of times i would elect to go with them as I did not want to leave them alone with him but now I can not even be with him but I am not going to allow him to see the kids alone,,,,

    if he takes this to the legal system I am willing to go and fight him there

    #48987
    jos1972
    Participant

    Sounds like he is of the same ilk as my stbxh, a compulsive liar and narcissist. I had years of I am the crazy one rammed down my throat – saw a psychiatrist who deemed I wasnt and asked if my h was an addict (years before discovery I may add…)
    Dont get sucked in. and stay strong

    #48988
    harmony1
    Participant

    thanks Jos, how are you dealing with your stbxh?

    #48989
    stance5
    Participant

    Hugs to you, Harmony. What an honest letter, you must feel as though a weight has been lifted off of you after writing all of this out. I’m so sorry for all of this pain you are dealing with right now. You are so brave to take a stand against the asshole for you and your children. Hang in there!
    Love,
    Kate

    #48990
    diane_d
    Participant

    Harmony, my thoughts are with you. I have just started this road again. I am glad you were able to write this letter. I know the pain you must be in when he just comes back with attacks.

    This is one of my fears right now. The last time my husband and I were separated I hated the fact that he got to see the children. I discovered the pornography, asked him about it and he of course denied it. I cried like never before that night and then he left for a 12 day business trip the very next day. I could not believe it. I was utterly lost, devastated and confused. I kicked him out and then by Christmas he had them for the week and I was left alone and in a very sad and dark place. Why did I have to be alone at Christmas. Why did he get them? I didn’t lie, join sex chat rooms, put myself up on a website as available to “see who might be interested”. I vowed on Christmas Eve to do what I needed to stay with him and to be there with my children so they were safe and never alone with him again.

    Now I have moved away, out of state while he is in treatment. I cleared the move with him before he went in to treatment and he confirmed in an email and that I could move. What do I do? How do I protect myself and my children from him? My greatest fear is leaving my children from him?

    Keep strong,

    Diane D

    #48991
    pam-c
    Participant

    Dear Harmony

    I am so very sorry for all the pain he has caused you and your children. But I worry about the email to him, and that he is fwding them and cc’ng responses.

    oh Harmony , they are the devil for sure. He is trying to paint you out as an abuser, and psychologically unstable. I strongly suggest you stop the hate mail to him. post here. post it all day long. but not to him. he is going to use it against you.

    they are effective liars. they do well in court. the best way t protect your kids is to abide by the custody agreement for now. play civil/fair. give him nothing to go on. that is what will protect you and kids.

    my ex was arrested. i had 2 documented reports showing abuse. he has convinced his entire family that i am the abuser. the courts dismissed the case. they can easily win in court. not trying to scare you, but they do—play safe and smart. not emotional. think like a man. it’s just business from now on Harmony. take care of business– for you and for your kids.

    sorry. i know it sucks. but you have the kids more nights than him right now. this is good. you have done well. hang on to it.

    #48992
    harmony1
    Participant

    Dear Diane, i understand exactly what you said, i am/ have been in this position, but all what we can do sometimes is to pray, pray that god circle them with light and protection

    Pam, you are right, it is very hard for me to act that way, I am still very emotional, in so much pain, in so much anger, but I will do my best.

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