- This topic has 15 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 5 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
My STBXSAH was in rare form today. Texting and calling and being a nuisance. I ignored as best I could. Turned the ringer and even vibration off. But still when I checked other texts, I saw all his. Basically, he was sharing that he was very hurt to have been treated so badly when he’s doing everything I requested to get better. Do I not see how I have behaved badly, too?
I just ignored it, but one text was short enough the jist of it showed and made a question pop up in my mind. It was saying “nobody deserves to be spit on”, and I just vaguely remembered doing that (and it is the only time in my life, it is a vulgar nasty thing to do). I couldn’t remember why, though.
That memory gap was weird. I went into my journaled stuff to look it up. Stupid to risk so many triggers. But, that was such an uncharacterstic act I really was curious what made me do it, especially since I couldn’t remember.
Then I found it and I was just blown away that SAH could hold that out as a moment when HE was treated disrespectfully. It was the day I learned that SAH had lied about his STD tests when we met.
I had explained that if we were going to be intimate I needed a clean STD test, and would provide one myself. I was a single mom and my health was crucial to my family. No negotiations. So H gave me his clean STD test, and I gave him mine. What he failed to note was that he had been with two whores between the test and me, and one of them unprotected. When I found that out, I just turned around and spit in his face. No hesitation. No apology. And walked away.
Well you bet there was more discussion about that after I squelched the urge to crush his windpipe. But I never apologized for the spitting. I know SAH considered that worse than peeing on someone. I will never apologize.
But isn’t it so telling that SAH remembers that as a day I was particularly and inexcusably disrespectful to HIM?!?
I could have died from AIDS or Hepatitis from his filthy behavior and sordid lies. All he got was a little spit in the eye. I responded to that one, “At least I let you live.” and I meant it.
Hi Lynng2.
taking our sexual health seriously is no joking matter. and he risked your health.
they find ways to minimize their risky behavior and exposure to us. and they will use any misbehavior or ugly moments we have committed as leverage. I mean, ok 2 wrongs don’t make something right, and I am sure it was not your best moment — but it is a way to take the heat off him. and the fact he could have given you a life threatening disease, or any STD. he did not protect you. until he sees that, he can talk about being hurt and saliva all he wants. he may be upset about that. but it is out of context and reality of what he did is not being acknowledged. you played fair. he didn’t.
Yeah, and looking through it all that I realized that our first date was three days after his ex-wife was supposed to move back into the house with him. Which means she was probably subjected to the whore’s special potions, too. That wasn’t on his journal or disclosure, but after reading my journal, it’s a given. He wouldn’t consider her moving back in unless she was putting out. I swear he said that.
All things I learned after leaving.
Lynn,
The absurbity of it all is obvious when it’s in writing – in black and white, isn’t it?
Crazy, crazy, crazy….
You rock.
Deb
Poor baby!
My STBX remembers every little hurt he got from me even if it was delusional thinking on his part but denies causing me any pain. After all, he is “not responsible” for my feelings.
Ugh! So infuriating, Lynn. Don’t feel bad about spitting on him. He did deserve it. I don’t care if it was ugly- what he did was even worse. Don’t we teach our kids that sometimes they have to stand up to the bullies even if it means they might have to hit back to defend themselves? That’s how I see it, Lynn- that was an act of self-defence.
Lynn,
This just takes the cake! Just for future reference however I agree with you spitting in his face, but I do know someone who spit in her partner face and she was arrested! It’s against the law because of the body fluid to body fluid contact. The police saw her do it because they were called on a domestic call and they arrested her. Unbelievable!That is unbelievable. They can have unprotected sex with someone else and lie to their partner but you can’t spit in their face when you find out about it.
My take on it is that you thought he was one of those SA/compulsives that gets off on the whole saliva and spitting thing.
Yes, sisters, in my porn research phase, I actually saw a video where they were naked and spitting on each other, and big mucus gobs etc. Lovely! Okay I only saw a few seconds before I gagged (and had no partner to gag upon).So what’s he complaining about. It’s very much like the stuff he likes. You could have easily made that mistake.
Love it, Diane. Perfect defense if I chose to use one.
Thanks ladies, I feel better that the consensus is he deserved it. That was my feeling, obviously. But it helps to not be alone.
BTW – I downloaded a blocker app for texts so I don’t have to see his rants anymore. He pays the phone bill, so I may not have a phone soon, but at least while I do, it will be more peaceful.
Oh Lynng, don’t second guess your action in this instance. STDs are no joke, that is just not cool to have fabricated that lie! I’m a Lynng fan!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.