I am filing for divorce

Diane, do you really think that there will be any peace during such process especially that this man is very dark, evil and manipulative,,,,
I am going to hope and work for that

so the mad sociopathic man is preparing for the battle
he sent an email to our mutual friends Maria and Elaine, asking them for support letter on how good of a father he is, he is going to meet with lawyers next week….

below please see his email :

(( Good morning to you guys , we are in SD and planning to spend the day here . I hope you both doing well . I would really appreciate if you would write me a statement to whom it may concern stating that you both know me since 1999 . And you have been a close personal friend for both my wife and me for the last 4 yeas , during this time you have never seen any abusive behavior from me toward my children or anyone else . And that I spend every effort to take care of my children in a very loving and well balance manner and that you have witnessed many time in my home as well as your home , how my children interact with me in a loving way ,free of fear . And you have witnessed how they love to come over my place and in many times in front of you they would ask me to take them over there repeatedly . You have witnessed that I spent every possible effort to have a clean , safe place ( physically , emotionally and morally ) for my children that is only full of love and fatherly care and that have never experienced and harsh treatment or discipline from me toward them and that I maintain an environment in my house that give them reassurance by maintaining their mother picture all over my house and by never mentioning their mother except in most respected way . I would appreciate if you have 2 separate litters from each of you , and of course you can add or subtract what you see appropriate and you feel comfortable with . This matter will remain highly confidential since I understand how sensitive you position is . I’m meeting with my lawyer ( JS) on Tuesday and also will meet with LS on 9/6 ( her first available ) and decide which way to go . I would appreciate if you have the statement ready to present it to them if you can and it would be better if they are not exactly the same wording . Thank you both many time for being the wonderful people that you are , I consider you both as my mother and I’m really sorry to drag you into this matter but I do need your help . God Bless. ))

yes Diane I am trying to stay in my truth, I am trying to see the big picture that this man at the end is hurting no one more than himself,,

I wrote this email to Maria and Elaine this morning, but i did not send it to them, I am posting it here to get it out of my system and to ask for wisdom in handeling this very difficult matter, I am sorry that it is too long, but it is what it is
pleas let me know your thoughts

((Dear Maria and Elaine

I again want to apologize that alex keeps dragging you into our problems and send you these emails purposefully, but I chose not to answer alex’s emails because it is all full of false accusations and I refuse to get involved with such derogatory comments as it does no good to any one,,,

I in spite of pain he caused me with his betrayal from the beginning I refused to engage in any games to try to hurt him or depicte him in any bad ways, simply because he is my husband and the father of my children, and I would not want anything bad to happen to him so I kept everything to myself and I refused to share it with anyone, I did not even tell my closest friends, I did not share any details with my family, my parents only knew that there is another woman but did not share any other details with them, none of my brothers or sisters know anything about what happened, except that we are separated ,

It hurts me to no end that he dragged both of you in the middle of all this , but he himself had shared all these details with you against my well,,,as I would have never wanted for the two of you to get into all of this and for you to know all the things you know about his affair with that woman he spent his energy on, his character, his many different issues, as I wanted to maintain his image in your heads of the friend you have known and if it was up to me I would never wanted for you to know anything about all of this,,,

so I am really sorry that he dragged you into all of this but I am hoping that since you are in the middle of it now to be able to help him, as I really think what Aexi has very serious issues including issues with anger , I had experienced so much of his anger during our marriages many incidenes of anger and rage for really no good reasons, I was hurt by that as I expected a mature man would if has any issues with me to come and talk to me like adults and not resort to anger ,,cussing, calling names to vent his frustrations, ,,,even his cheating reflected how much anger he has against me

But you know at the end his attitude with me only reflects how much anger he has against himself, as no man who respect him self enough would get involved with a very suspicious woman like NV who has a very shady reputation in the town, and her husband KV who is known for his conning other people out of their money,,,,

What Alex has done reflect very serious and deep problems he has way from the beginning long before he has ever met me , yes he has cheated on me and he was trying to hurt me because he was angry with me and I did get hurt but he was hurting himself as well,

he had damaged himself in the first place he had destroyed the beautiful gift that god had given him the gift of having a family, a decent moral wife and beautiful three children…I can not imagine how could a man compromise himself and his family by his association with such woman who could brought serious threats to his family,,,

I tried so hard to get him to see all of that but I failed and I am stepping aside but after all there is a god and there is a judgment day and on that day alex will be asked about these very serious sins that he had committed,,,as adultery is a very serious crime in the eyes of god, as serious as committing murder, well alex with his acts had murdered his family, he murdered the dreams I had of being together forever, of raising our small children together , and seeing them go through the different stages in life, school, , soccer games, basketball games, dance performances, then colleges, graduations, ,,,,then to see our children getting married and having our grandchildren,

I was hoping that I am building this kind of life with him, where we share all these memories in our old ages where we would recall all of this with warmth and love

So after my discovery of his betrayal I held these kind of thoughts in my head, that I did not want alex reputation to be ruined and I wanted to do what I can do to restore these dreams, but at the same time I was facing the fact that I had lost any trust I had in this man, and trust is so essential for any relationship ,

I found myself where I just did not recognize alex anymore, the man I thought I had was not the same man who cheated on me, I could never imagine that he was so capable of so much lying and deceiving, but I was willing to try to build our family together but on the right grounds, I needed to know who this man is, I needed to know what he had done behind my back for years, I needed to have a full disclosure about everything he has ever done, then I needed to see him becoming honest with me and never lie to me ever again, in April of this year after we had spent together a weekend out of town during which we talked so much about what we need to do to build our lives together and Alex promised me to be honest with me, when we came back I thought I got to that stage with him, during that trip he showed me how much he loved me and how much he is willing to do anything and everything in his power to gain my trust again, we wrote a long moral contract where I asked him to just be honest with me and never lie to me ever again under any circumstance,,,,and he promised me that and I believed him I truly believed him that he would never ever compromise that trust that is just started to be rebuild again , after all what do I want more than to have the father of my children in my life forever,

But he lied to me again and lied in the worst possible ways, I remember very clearly that day in April it was Thursday evening, I had spent the Wednesday night with him alone, and woke up in the morning feeling happy full of hope of possibility of new life, over that Wednesday evening he promised me over and over again that he would always be sincere, kind, loyal and honest,,,and I chose to believe him because I wanted to keep my family together, ,,,,but then on Thursday night as I was coming back to see him again, I saw him pulling into NV subdivision which is very close to his current home, I could not believe my eyes, I was shocked, I was petrified to see that , I just did not know what happened to me, I felt a very painful stab in my back, I left with tears and fears all over my heart, I felt I was bleeding internally,,,,

I waited for him to tell me what happen and why did he go there, I did not tell him that I had seen him I wanted to see if he would ever tell me what did happen, I wanted to hear the truth, but he never came forward and when I asked him what he did that evening he lied to where he was, ,,,,,,on that moment I saw my life, my future all falling apart,, I did not want to believe that this man who just the night before promised me to be there for me and to never lie to me again, would lie just like that after we had made love together the night before,,,,I was in shock, and even when I confronted him about it, he kept denying it and refusing to admit it until finally as you had heard him admitted that yes he went to her subdivision that night but he gave a very lame excuse that he was looking for a house there,,,really he could not even come up with a better excuse ,,,,,

Alex had stabbed me in the back again and again, but in spite of all that I did not go out and share all this with anyone, in spite of him hurting me in such bad ways, I still wanted to protect him and protect his reputation in town,,,,,, as it is never in my nature to hurt anyone in any shape or form not alone the father of my children,,,,,
But he is continuing to play games, he knows very well that he has very deep and serious issues, the most important of which his anger issues, Alex was very angry through our marriage, had on different occasions yelled at me, cussed at me and called me names, he even spit on me one day while we were coming back from a family vacation, I was in the back of the car sitting next to our children and he got angry with me for trivial reasons and started to cuss me telling me the f word and then start to spit on me ,,,his spit was all over the car seats and windows, that next day Youssef saw a spot on the window and remembered that was from his dad spitting, ,,,

,he never hesitated to throw these anger fits right in front of the children, and had even on different occasions yelled at the kids scaring the be gees out of them, different people in my house including our house keeper witnessed how mad he can become with even our little daughter, as one day when she was less than four years old during one of her tantrums he yelled at her so bad that other people run to take her out of his way,,,, he is a big man and his voice can be very loud and very scary for even me not alone a little child,,,,my daughter was crying for a long time after that,,,
I really have very serious concerns about how can alex in the long run control him self and his anger especially around those kids, and it just does not take much to hurt those very fragile kids or scar them for life, he just can scream at them once or twice and create serious fears and anxiety in their little hearts,,,

I had given up any hope that I can have alex change his ways ,or work on himself, as I truly believe he has serious issues with controlling his impulses including his anger impulses and sexual impulses, ,,,

But I just cannot handle this anymore, he needs to go and seek counseling with experts like Dr Minwalla who can help him to learn ways to control his impulses but he has to see it and feel it that he needs to do that work,,,,I have to admit that I failed to make him see all of that’

But I am hoping with you and your true interest in him and his wellbeing that you can influence him to go and seek the counseling that he needs,

I need to step aside and work on my healing as in spite of all this pain and degradation that alex had put me through I managed to stay strong for my beautiful kids, I managed to give them the safe loving house they need and they are and continue to be very happy and very balanced children,,,
But they still need that balanced father, they need a man who is happy with himself and proud of what he does in life in all aspects of life, in his work, in his relationships with people, but also in his own home,,, and alex is not happy with himself and what he has done, he is ashamed of himself, but his shame is long rooted it goes back to years of his life and previous relationships he has had during which he had also cheated,,,,

He Has agreed to share all of these issues with you and sat in your home around the dinner table on different occasions sharing all of this with you , so he has a trust in your and your ability to help,,,So I hope you can continue to urge him to seek the counseling as there is nothing more in life I want to see more than he is reaching a place of happiness and balance as that will give my beautiful children a chance to grow and be proud of their dad,,,,

I love you both and appreciate everything you have done
Harmony

Thank you Lynn, you are so amazing, I think just posting this email here without sending it did help me greatly thank you for reading it,,I will not send it

I had decided few days ago that I want absolutely nothing to do with him, nothing at all and I will keep my promise to my self so please if I slip again and get involved in any ways in his games remind me of this promise

Thank to all of you for being there for me
Love you all