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Does anyone else have trouble reading through some of the longer posts or retaining details about other people- even ones that should be memorable like their names?
I used to have a great memory- it’s one of the things I prided myself on. I could remember every little detail, entire conversations, and pretty anything I read or saw. I can’t remember anything now, it seems- even what happened earlier in the day- unless I write it down.
And I have a terrible time on here remembering people’s names, stories, reading through posts. If I don’t keep up regularly, I get overwhelmed if I have to read too much at one time.
I’m guessing it’s just more of the PTSD because it’s consistent with my not being able to follow a recipe, read a newspaper article, or follow someone else if they talk very long.
It’s so frustrating!
Teri,
I’m not sure if it’s normal or not… But if it’s any consolation- I am guilty of ALL the symptoms you describe… Or at least I was…. Things will get better, I can tell you THAT.
Although…. I am still not as sharp as I use to be! But then again, I’m 49…… Ugh!!!!! 🙂
I have that problem. I can`t focus on a grocery list!! I cannot read a book. I can`t remember anything. I have been able to make slow progress reading magazines. I have trouble doing the simplest tasks…I have to set the alarm on my phone to remind me to pick up my kids from school. I have never forgotten them in 12 years, but I panic that I will.
I know when my PTSD was at it’s peak, I couldn’t do anything or get things straight. It’s gotten alot better post divorce and I had a sharp memory too and it’s coming back.
I do too, I have to take some classes and sit for exams by the end of the year but I just can not get my self to focus long enough on any book,,,
even as simple as sitting to read for my kids,,that has been very tasking and difficult to understand a simple children bookI feel the same way. The trauma we have had to endure is so great that it clouds functioning normal everyday tasks. My heart is so fragile even the littlest things trigger me and I have a pretty tough skin. This has thrown me for a loop.
My memory has been pretty terrible. I just assume it was due to trauma/stress/ptsd. it was like living in overload all the time– i need to free up some memory space, just like a computer. delete all the bad stuff
There’s a lot to keep up with here, but I think stress is definitely a factor.
I’m cleaning house today (rare for me to have enough energy), and I find myself distracted and forgetting what I was supposed to be working on.
For some reason, I was fine in school though. Graduated with my masters in clinical counseling (sure, laugh if you want) this past May with a 3.9. It was the one thing that I could focus on, probably because it distracted me from the SA shit. Since May, however, I’ve had nothing to take my mind off it…
I totally understand, March! I’m able to focus fairly well at work, because I have to — although I sometimes need a Xanax or two to make it through the day.
pam – delete all the bad stuff, i like it!
i’m seeing a trauma therapist. i think it’s really going to help. she manages to go incredibly deep in one hour. i feel like shit. as bad as i ever feel. but she’s giving me tools:
look at the four top corners of the room.
she told me mammals normally orient themselves, people with trauma stop looking around thempicture your personal boundary around you like a force field. try to picture it in your mind, see what shape it is. mine is nice and round in the front and above my head, but at my back is really close to my body. (as if something could get me from behind that i can’t see!) i also had a car accident with a back injury.
the reptilian brain remembers these things.
so she had me put up an extra boundary behind that…
i had a panic attack in the last session. she asked me – is anything here going to hurt you?
of course, no.
i’ve been telling myself that i’m ok. that he can’t hurt me. that he can’t manipulate me anymore. that i don’t need to worry what anyone thinks.
that i’ll be ok when i leave him.
i’m hoping this will help the trauma ease up, so i can concentrate again
and i have three goals:
1. get over this trauma
2. start working well again
3. prepare to leaveit’s very simple. and i’m safe.
and you all are safe too.
love
lisaTeri, Yes. I have all the same problems you do. We’ve been traumatized. At night, when I need to sleep, it’s as if my brain doesn’t have a switch to turn off. My therapist said, “of course you can’t sleep, look what happened to you when you were wide awake”. On Friday, I went shopping at the mall, I came out and could not find the car for more than five minutes. Like Lisacay says, I didn’t even orient myself in the parking lot. Someone took a bag from me in the mall. This has never happened to me before. I guess I look like a very easy, disoriented target, and I am. Bev, My heart went out when you said you have to set your alarm for your kids. Mine are grown, but if they weren’t, I’m sure I would have to do the same.
I have to make lists or I forget a lot. I can’t tell you how many appointment times I’ve mixed up. It helps me to make an index card every am of what needs to happen and the a couple extra if I can. If not they get moved to the next day. I also pay my bills the day I get them that way I don’t have to keep track of them.
I forget a lot also NAP. I am trying to find ways to create reminder lists. problem is, i forget where i wrote them and lose them! I feel like the nutty professor, with all kinds of notes to myself.
I have doing some homeopathic remedies for mood and concentration. it has been helping. got them at health food store. One of them is St John’s Wart. It is actually helping me. anyone ever try?
I’d love to take melatonin, but I can’t with my anticoagulants. I have to be careful with herbal remedies in general.
When H is away, I stay up too late because (1) I can, and (2) I’m afraid to go to sleep. I often have awful nightmares. When he’s here I take something to fall asleep, but I often wake up too early and the brain just starts going — like Penny’s.
janet, the same thing happens to me, especially lately. stay up late, wake up early. i’m going to force myself to go to bed no later than 11:30 pm (except for tonight, i’m playing). and force myself to relax when i wake up early. it was working for a while. that was.. until the therapeutic disclosure. but i’ll get it back dammit!
My memory is also really bad now (post D day)…..it’s depressing. I’ve had insomnia for a few years (menopause and hormone changes) – it was getting better before D-day hit.
Glad to hear I’m not the only one. I can barely remember my name most days. Speaking of which – I’d love a cheat sheet of everyone on this board. NAP seems to remember everyone’s stories fairly well…anyone care to share?Deb
Deb- I love it- I cheat sheet. That’s exactly what I need.
I’m glad to hear that I am not the only one. I make lists, too, and then I lose my lists or forget to take them to the store. I got some checks back I filled out right after dday- I wrote the amount in on the “Pay to the order of” line.
Insomnia- I wake up at 2 am unless I take my melatonin and 2 benadryls. Then I wake up at 4 am usually. So lack of sleep cannot be helping.
It’s been almost 11 months now. I really want myself back!
It has been 13 months and I am still in pain. The first three months after D day I could not read. Literally..I could not read. I used to read a little before I go to bed every night, but I found myself reading the same one page over and over for three months. I am not kidding. I didn’t know I was experiencing PTSD. I missed a lot work. I went to counseling and the therapist gave me a codependency book. That made me angry and ready to learn more about this shit. I have learned a lot and it pisses me off to say the least. My memory is shot so I write everything down.
My memory is getting better but it is painfully slow. I fear I will never get my sharp wit back. I guess time will tell.
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