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Well, he is back from inpatient therapy and already being an ass. I just got an email from him, and I am fuming- why do I let him do this to me?
He has always written me these longs emails full of bs. He sent one right before he left that I posted on SOS telling me not to spend money on anything but regular bills and telling me how much empathy he has for me and chastising me for defining him by his “past” behaviors and belittling him.
I responded to that telling him that holiday plane tickets and doctor bills were not “regular” expenses in any sense of budgeting and to spare me the false declarations of empathy that are meant to fool the therapists (I found out later he actually had sent his email to the coparenting therapist, further proving my point). My email was less than half the length of the one he sent me.
So he sent me an email today, responding to my response, telling me he wants succinct emails in the future. I have asked him for months for short emails over and over, and he insists on sending me long ones. I sent him one email with 12 sentences (most short), and he throws that back in my face like I am the one with the problem.
And then he proclaims again how he feels empathy for my pain.
I could just scream. I know, don’t respond to anything. But there are some things I feel like I need to respond to for the court record which my response was about.
But he always has a come back. I hate him.
I swear, it’s like when you are a kid, and you tell someone that’s being mean, “Stop it. You’re mean.” and then they turn around and mimic you, “Stop it. You’re mean.” So you say, “you need to stop it now.” and then he says “You need to stop it now.” OMG.
Oh Teri, I feel for you. That is exactly what they’re like, bullies.
There really is no communicating with that on any level at all. I am so sorry he’s back in your day to day life.
Just ignore him the best you can. Vent here and only respond to him what is necessary for the legal stuff. I know you are furious but remember you are not dealing with a sane person.
I am so sorry. What a waste of 50k….idiot.
We should start our own $50k rehab. We admit them, take the money, give it back to the wife, and put them in a pit like in Silence of the Lambs.
March, what a great idea!
Did my post even make sense? I am looking at it now and it’s rambling and ranty- isn’t it?
Basically, he got his iphone back and it right back to lying for the therapists and throwing my boundaries right back in my face.
I just want him out of my life!
Teri,,as many has told you here you have to ignore him,,,there are ways to learn that,,it is not easy but it is doable,,you will reach there one day and you could just sit there watch him doing his lame act and shake your head for such a wasted life in bad acting
Teri, I’m so sorry. Bev is right — you’re not dealing with a sane person, and he’ll never be sane.
(((Teri)))
I do like the SOS rehab idea.
Teri,
By not responding your really saying a lot. So sorry he’s bothering you again and that he’s back….
Love, NapIgnore the sick bastard….
He only annoys you because you forget that he’s mental and he’s a bully. Stay far, far away from him.
And big hugs to you….
Deb
The next long email you get send it back asking him to send it succinct with his quoted email request asking the same.
Or go thru the email and answer each question with a one word answer so it goes back looking like this:
Ok. Possibly. No. Not at this time.
Let him figure out what it means.
Teri,
I can understand how that man drives you to distraction because he completely grates on my nerves too. Just the same…you have to ignore him and beat him at his own game. His goal is to upset you AND to get anything down in writing that makes him look good and you look bad. Don’t give it to him and craft every response with a cool head.
For Now…nice to see you. I was wondering how you are? I like your suggestion. 😉 Karen xxteri,
or send a reply to his long emails
‘the PTSD i am experiencing makes it difficult for me to process long emails. please shorten your correspondence.”
Teri, I’m so sorry that the relative calm you had found without him is already gone.
It’s hard (and I struggle to follow my own advice) but I think that your best bet is to keep working on detaching. When you can laugh at the time he has wasted writing his “War and Peace” emails, you’ll know you are making progress.
In the meantime, I love Lisa’s suggestion!!
Can you watch him like a science project? Think of him as an Animal Planet special? Consider yourself doing field work in psycho-social abnormalities and their expression in the adult male?
Anything to keep it less like he’s actually supposed to make sense?
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