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Today I’m at work and check my web monitor account. H is watching porn. Ok whatever. Strange thing is he is watching it under my screen name on the computer…instead of his own. He knows I can check his history but doesnt know how I do it. I dont get mad at him for watching porn so why is he being sneaky??? Checking to see if I’m checking my history too??? Which means eventually he will be up to no good???
My guess, from what I have read, is that “sneaking around” is half the fantasy. If you have given him your OK to watch porn then it`s no fun. By using your screen name he is still “pulling one over on you” which makes it more exciting.
And, if he is really so stupid that he has no clue that the computer has spywear and you have some uncanny ability to know everything then he may believe that you don`t check your own history. He may be embarrassed that you know he is at home whacking off to whatever. It is kinda personal. maybe it ruins the moment for him?
I thought maybe he was baiting me to see if I watch everything because he was looking at some Gay stuff. That blows my mind. It is probaly all of the above…sneaky behavior, embarassed etc. He says he never ever whacks off…I use to believe him. I have to be tough and keep my mouth shut that I know he’s using my screen so I can see what becomes of this. It just never ends does it? He has been on the computer for over an hour. I bet he didnt empty the trash or fold his laundry though…..
I hate to be a downer but I would say that laundry and trash ( the real garbage in the can sort) is the least of your problems with this guy….
You are so right about the laundry and the trash. He isn’t worried about me divorcing him. As a matter of fact 2 days ago we had a very loving romantic night. So I dont get why today he’s into the porn thought he could go at least a few days longer. His porn addiction is worse than I ever thought it was. I’m going to let him keep using my screen name let him think I am oblivious and see what develops. This is the hard part about monitoring…I need to keep my cool act like all is well.
Not to freak you out, Kat, but what straight guy looks at gay porn? If you’re having sex with him, I’d sure as hell make sure it’s SAFE sex. Of course, that applies to any and all of us tied up with these freaks whatever their persuasion or perversion.
If you keep monitoring, what are you hoping to catch him at? I just never could do the monitoring thing, it was too much like babysitting an adult and really pissed me off.
What benefit is there for partners in monitoring this stuff? It seems so depressing and demoralizing. I really would like to know, maybe I missed some great opportunities when I said “ABSOLUTELY NOT!” to monitoring.
Yes liza you are right. Im going to ob-gyn get checked and demand condoms. lynng2 -I guess I’m trying to see if he takes it further than just watching porn. It is depressing and I get pissy that I have to do this babysitting. But him watching porn isn’t enough for me to leave. If he is going any further then I need to reevaluate my decisions to stay. I did do the check the car for a phone thing didnt find one. But he could have one in his truck I suppose at work..he works nights driving a truck. I think your saying NO to monitioring was a good decision for you. I’m just not ready to let go.
Kat, have you read the “just porn” section on the PoSARC site ( it is linked from this page)? I am not saying you should leave him but it has a lot of valuable information…
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