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Hi Everyone – Just wanted to post that my Divorce was granted today. WOW – A long time coming. Steve had to take the stand and say that he did not sign the post-nump or property settlement agreement under duress, and that he had waived his right to counsel. He did so, and I received the settlement I asked for. The judge didn’t even question it.
I was a little worried, because Steve asked my attorney, prior to the hearing, if there was a possibility the judge would not grant the settlement. My attorney told him there was a possibility, but not likely. Prior to the hearing, my attorney took Steve out in the hall and told him should the judge deny the agreement, he would have to present why the divorce was being filed – this meant my spilling Steve’s dirty laundry, so if there was any doubt in Steve’s mind about trying to fight it, I’m sure that took care of it.
Anyway, it was over in 10″ and I’m FREE!
Steve shed a few tears, and I did also. Mine were because it is still incomprehensible to me how a husband can give up his marriage to an addiction with all the lies and manipulation that goes with it. But, they sure as hell do!!
I feel such a sense of relief, and I want to thank all my sister’s who gave me all the love and support to get me here. I can remember how long I was on the fence, and you guys told it like it is and gave me a swift kick in the ass when I needed it. You brought reality to me when I was in denial for so long, and I love you all for it. Now, I can finally move on with my life.Dear Sharron,
Im sure you have mixed feelings today, but I cant help but say congratulations! As you said, now you can move on with your life and my hope for you is that today will be the beginning of new and happy chapter!
Lots of love,
~Bonnie
PS–mine was final last Monday!Sharron,
I am glad you got that settlement! A new chapter is beginning in your life, I wish you so much joy and peace and love in it.
Of course you cried, honey,
you love someone and held hopes for that life together.But you are better off now without his destructive behaviours and the toll they were taking on you as a human being.
Thank you for letting us be with you, for showing us that hard truths can be faced without dying, that you can survive your own worst fears, and that you can emerge with some dignity and grace. When we rightly understand and express our pain and anger, we are not slaves to it.
I think you have to be today’s heroine, Sharron, if you can stand the attention!
lots of love and admiration for your courage,,
Diane.sharron,
sending you love and gratitude for your honesty. for living a life of integrity. for putting that above all else.
love
lisa
Sharron, sending all good thoughts your way for your continued healing in your new life. You have shown incredible strength through all this. xoxo
Sharon,
Wow, what a journey. I am sad and happy for you at the same time. I am proud of all the decisions you had to made and YOU DID IT!!!!!!! I wish all the best for you and thank you for your wisdom. I have learned so much from you. Please keep us posted on how your doing.
Hugs, CindyThank you all for your sweet replies. I E-mailed JoAnn and thanked her personally. She, along with all of you have just been wonderful.
I was thinking about canceling my membership and forget about addiction for awhile, but I feel such a bond with you all I think I would feel such a loss.
Again, Thank you. Love you all.Sharron, I’m so glad you got the settlement you were looking for, since you didn’t get the marraige you were promised. Thankyou for being willing to share your hard journey here with us. You have taught us a lot from your processing through to the final outcome.
You better buy yourself some new dancing shoes now and get on with your darling self!
Here’s to you, Sharron, ( A toast with some Sam Adam’s Octoberfest)
Love, Debora
Congratulations on putting him behind you. And the whole SA clusterfuck. Please stick around, though. Women here need to see what it’s like to be happy on the other side, and how can that happen if all we ever see is the pain?
Dear Sharon,
I cannot even begin to express how much I respect your journey. There was a time when I thought you were going down for the last count, when you used to say “I just cann’t let him go, I just cann’t!”…. but here you are…standing in your own truth and facing all those fears. I know it isn’t the ending you hoped for but you didn’t sell yourself out, Sharron…you certainly didn’t.
I hope that your life will now proceed with a peace that is unattainable as long as you are dealing with a SA. I wish all things good for you and hope you will share the positives with us. God Bless Karen xxSharron,
Congratulations!! You attitude turned the tide just about the time I joined SOS – glad to see that you made it intact.
Deb
Sharron,
So happy for you. We watched the flip flopping around and you eventually found your way. So very proud of all you’ve done for yourself.
I’m afraid we’d all come hunt you down if you left this site!
Thank you for sharing your journey and I want to hear about your new journey from here on out. We need to see what life is like after SA, too.
Much love, Claire
Sharron,
Good for you. You survived. You have your life back. You found the light at the end of the tunnel. It takes courage and strength to deal with all an SA throws at you. Thanks for allowing us to share your journey.
Congratulations!!!! I am so happy for you and of course jealous at the same time. Go enjoy yourself.
Sharron, I am glad you are thinking of staying. I would like to know how you feel over time, after this divorce. What amazing courage! Thank you for sharing your difficult journey with us.
Hi all – I would like to ask those of you who have carried through with divorce if you had a melt down soon after.
I was a wreck up until the day of, but going through with it was a piece of cake. I was calm, cool, and collected on the stand. When Steve walked in the court room, I looked at him and wondered what I ever saw in him. He did not look handsome to me anymore, and talking to him did not have an impact on me one way or the other.
Today, 3 days later, I am totally depressed, shaky, and have no tolerance for anyone around me. I even told a clerk off at the store today, and then apologized – telling her I was having a bad day. That is just not me. WTF is wrong with me?? Has anyone else experienced this? I have no regrets of going through with the divorce whatsoever. In fact, couldn’t have been happier walking out that courtroom door. I am thinking this is just a let down from it all. God, I hope it goes away tomorrow, if not sooner. I wonder if this is normal. I never had this experience after my other divorces.
I plan to go dancing tomorrow night, so hope I work out of this funky mood.
I hope to catch up on all your posts, in the next few days, after I gain my sanity back.
All of your comments brought tears to my eyes. It is really
amazing how we all rally around eachother and have built such a bond. Your friendships can never be replaced.Sharron,
I am just now catching up after weeks/months of being MIA!OMG!!! Congratulations!!! I have your journey memorized! Sometimes, I lived it with you!! Sometimes you drove me crazy and I’m sure sometimes I made you mad!!!
But this is all I ever wanted for you and even though today has been a rough day- happy days are coming!! I am approaching the one year mark on my divorce (CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT??) and yet, there are still times that I grieve for my old life. I’d like to think that is normal. I am even happily with someone new and still- the pain and horrible memories can take my breath away at times. Thankfully, those times are fewer and far between… But still. I know Diane experienced a bad time here or there too.. And I just think that is part of the process. She is crazy about her new guy- but letting go of everything you know and all the crazy shit that goes with divorce (let alone divorce from AN SA!!) – it is scary and takes a huge toll. I still get triggered at times. As Cindy posted somewhere – it infuriates her when someone perceives what we have been through as “just infidelity”. Yeah right. As if infidelity isn’t a tragic blow in itself- we have all the numerous other items that I won’t even bother to mention that we deal with. My blood just boils when someone just chalks it up to a marriage gone wrong. Sadly, it is so much more than that.
But you, my lady, have Sooo much to be proud of and many great things to look forward to! I admire your strength and courage and truly, you are a BIG heroine to me!! I am in awe!! Thank you for sharing your journey and your many, many supportive comments through the years!
I love you Sharron, in sisterly love,
SL
Hi silver-lining
I wondered how you have been doing. I am so happy for you and the new life you are living. Thanks for responding.
I am glad to know my feelings are “Normal”. I’m fine tonight, but I am like you – every time I think of time wasted, how I allowed myself to be manipulated, all the lies that kept up even until my last phone call with him I still get furious. I am sure I will work through it, but yes it does take time.
I am sure I was frustrated at everyone that told me to get out way back when. I sure did struggle with it, didn’t I? After I finally got it, I thoroughly appreciated everything everyone did for me. Now, I go through the same thing with our sister’s – I hurt so much for those that are going through the same thing I did. Sometimes I think I may be a little too blunt with them, but we are a lot alike – we say what is in our heart.
NO, I was never mad at you, and your post’s were always right on when calling a spade a spade. I always knew you had my best interests at heart!!
I love you too sister. Please keep posting for others, because your advice is always right on. Enjoy your new life and tell that guy of yours he is very lucky to have found you!!
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