Divorce Attorney Basics??

GG, even if you’re not ready to file, talking to an attorney now is a very, very good idea. Attorney costs vary across the country, but $250/hour would be appropriate where I am (Ohio). As for picking the right one, first make sure they are an experienced family law attorney. If family and friends can’t recommend someone, you should be able to get referrals from your local or state bar association. Martindale Hubble is the name of a attorney rating organization that publishes books that contain short bios and ratings for attorneys across the country. You should be able to find them in any law library. Beyond that, picking an attorney is largely a matter of personal preference. Pick one who you feel comfortable with; who listens to you and understands your concerns; and who will be a strong advocate for you and your children.

I recommend talking to as many matrimonial attorneys as you can. Research the best matrimonial attorneys in your area. Even if you expect their rate to be high, talk to them anyway. Ask them if they have an associate that you can work with with their guidance. Ask them for referrals. Many know great attorneys who work at lower hourly rates. If you can not meet them all in person some will SKYPE with you. Ask about their hourly rate AND their retainer rate should more work be required or if they believe that the case could go to litigation. Also, be certain that he or she is capable of going to litigation or be prepared to hire a litigator. Ask to see their standard agreement. One attorney I spoke to said that she would agree to $2K down for a retainer, but then when she presented her agreement it listed an estimated $10K that would be required due to the nature of my case. Additionally, I believe that he or she should be aware of the emotional toll that partners experience by being in a relationship with a sex addict. One attorney I spoke did not believe in sexual addiction at all. I finally found one who would work on a reduced hourly rate due to my circumstances. But I also felt on a gut level that she cared about my situation and would not rack up the fees. We are going to try to settle with H first so we can avoid litigation and costly attorney’s fees. In all reality, I doubt that he will want to give me anything given the way he abandoned all financial obligations. Lastly, look online for their ratings and recommendations in the legal forum websites and even places like YELP. I also found it helpful to research if he or she wrote any articles that were published on divorce or family matters. Best of luck to you.

GeorgiaGirl – did you ever go to an attorney? I did that about a month ago – the best $175 I’ve spent in a long time. It was just a half hour consultation but not a sales pitch at all. I came in fully prepared having researched online everything I thought I would want to know and brought a spreadsheet of information about our finances. The lawyer talked fast (I didn’t mind – I liked that she was all business), I took notes, and we got through a lot of material. I live in VA so not sure how much would be different b/w states but let me know what specific questions you have and I’ll see if I can answer them from that I learned. One thing I read about before the meeting is that it’s not a therapy session – try to keep your emotions out of it and you’ll better utilize the time & money. My SAH has no idea that I went (I paid in cash) so I’m keeping this info in my back pocket for if and when I need it.

In the divorcing a Nar research I’ve done they recommend finding out who the pit bull attorneys are and at least interviewing them so your SA won’t be able to retain them. 🙂
http://m.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-legacy-distorted-love/201203/help-im-divorcing-narcissist