Update :)

Hi ladies,

Been a minute since my last post (the Christmas blow up). I’ve been lurking in the background though. Just trying to make it day to day with this new reality, but to be honest life’s been “good” lately. I can actually go a day w/o thinking about the betrayl so that’s progress. I’ve shifted my way of thinking that focuses less on my husband and what he is doing and focusing more on getting myself healthy. I still have a long way to go. I’m having to look back at my past and work through somethings dealing with my abandonment issues, they way I deal with anger as I tend to “stuff” my feelings and getting over doing that etc. My hubby is doing what he’s doing and I’ve given up trying to control those things, frees up some of my mind space. 🙂 I’m seeing him go to his meetings twice a week, go to his counselor bi-weekly and meeting and calling his sponser regularly. I see him doing his step work, reading and writing etc. and I don’t have to remind him and ask him to do it. Those things are positive. Per his counselor, we are doing weekly check-ins. At the first check in he admitted about not being honest about skipping the meeting when I went out of town for New Years and I was honest about the fact that I knew it and how I did find out. I haven’t tracked him since. 🙂 I’m attending a weekly meeting supporting wives of SA via L.I.F.E Ministries in my local area. I’ve tried COSA and another group, but this one is just the perfect fit. It has been a HUGE help on my recovery and I know I wouldn’t be in this place without it. It’s truly been a God send! In other news, we did get a new puppy – a golden mix, he’s getting bigger by the minute! The “dream truck” is GONE. It was repo-ed in fact, but still gone, so we are down to one mode of transport, but making it work until we can find something we can afford. Luckily, I live 2 minutes from the place that I work and the kids’ school is literally in our backyard. I’ve started on a new venture that I’m really excited about with this custom jewlery company called Origami Owl (www.origamiowl.com). Something I can do in my “spare” time and hopefully bring in some extra money. More than that I instantly fell in love with the product and it’s really inspiring – to me anyways. I had to sell my class ring (from 1997) and my wedding set which I wasn’t wearing anyways to get started and got a $200 loan from my mom to get a small kiosk in a retail store as well, so I’m praying that it does well. My job is going well, the kids are doing well. Their happiest day was when they no longer had to share a room and their dad moved back into the master. 🙂 It’s not perfect we’ve had a couple blow out fights, just had one the other day, but we do come back and make conversation after the fact instead of stewing about it and looking for a way to exact revenge. We’re a way out from intamacy, but plan on attending a marriage conference at our church next month. I hope it will help. Whatever happens down the road, at least I know I will be okay.