- This topic has 40 replies, 25 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
So I had mentioned that my husband got a Facebook page and he hijacked some of my friends. He read my page where last month I posted “moving day!” A lot of my friends said congratulations! No one deserves it more than you! Etc and so on. He got so pissed off. He texted me all day that my friends were stupid and he wonders what I really say about him. All weekend he had been trying to woo me back. I ignored him but he asked why and I was moving furniture. A seller from work was moving to Utah and gave me his new living room set. My neighbors helped me move it. I paid them 150 because my neighbor is out of work and the furniture was free so I was sort of paying it forward. My husband told me I was an asshole thinking I was rich or something. I had to see him tonight because I had to pick up the kids from him. He laid into me that I thought I was perfect and he was 100 percent to blame. He said it takes two to tango. I said even I’m not perfect which I’m not doe s that make it ok for him to abuse me. He said he didn’t really do anything wrong that I knew what he was like going in and that not showing me affection was not something he should go to jail for and if I was so unhappy I should have left a long time ago I said that’s true. By now I am a sobbing mess because all I wanted was for him to change. He said I didn’t treat him well. That I was lazy and useless around the house and that I never did anything. Then he said what would last straw76 say about that. I said how did you know?? He said he knew for months. I used to be on a different website that is public and he read everything I wrote. I said if you read it then you know how I felt and you didn’t say anything? If you knew how said I was you should have said sorry. He said no. He doesn’t care. He’s never going to therapy and he just doesn’t care. I knew it but it hurt so much to hear it. You always hold out hope. Hope that he might care. That you are worthy of care. My heart broke. I told him he breaks my heart over and over and that’s when he told me to shut up. My kids were there they said its time to go. So we left. I cried in front of them again. My son hugged me when we got home and said I’m sorry you had to go through that. Urgh he’s not supposed to take care of me. I feel like shit. My husband told me to get the rest of my shit out of the house and pay someone 150 bucks and that will the best money he ever spent. I somehow feel a bit of closure. I really saw my husband for the first time in a long time. The real uncaring ass that he is. I think I can move on more now. It hurt though. It hurt bad. You just can’t believe someone you loved is really that awful. But he is. I think I’ll cry a little bit more. I know sad is just a feeling that will pass. I skipped over grieving for awhile with the move and the new freedom. I just need to be sad for a bit.
HE is the asshole and YOU are worthy of care. He sounds like a monster and I am so glad you are out of there. I am only sorry the kids have to see him. I could strangle him. It is more than OK to be sad. Climb into bed, snuggle down and cry your heart out if need be. Cry for you. He is NOT worthy of your tears. He should be whipped for his cruelty to you!
They just have to have the last word.
and it always ugly.I’m sorry you went through that. I hope that the last one you have. I’m really sorry your kids saw it. I’m glad your son hugged you and recognized you were hurting, but you’re right, its not his job to comfort your grown up pain. I’m glad you came here. I’m glad you came here ages ago. You are a true inspiration. Your story is real and challenging and your courage to change your life is like the sun breaking through the clouds. It’s going to be all right. You are doing all the right things and your children are lucky because they have the most courageous mother on the block. You can tell them—yes, I’m sad, but I’m also courageous and we’ll be just fine.
Meanwhile, he’s a wet fart in a bucket.
love you
diane.Stephanie, he cannot STAND the thought of your being happy. So you’re just going to have to be EXTRA happy. Much love.
“They just have to have the last word.
and it always ugly.”So true, Diane.
Stephanie, I so sorry you experienced that. It’s okay to grieve that your marriage didn’t turn out like you wanted. But don’t waste a single minute grieving losing him!
You are so gonna be fine without him.
Steph honey, he showed his true colors. Of course you are sad. It is sad watching someone that you love be a non human. It is mind boggling. You know for sure that you have done the right thing.
I love you to death and you are the sun peeking out from the clouds. He is a complete zero. I have no words for a man that watches the mother of his children cry and doesn’t step in to help her. That is the lowest of the low and believe me I have experienced the same.
You are fabulous and don’t you forget it.
Well I hope he is reading this. What a pig. It takes two to tango?????? Now that is a horrible thing to say. Surely he doesn’t believe it. If your house looked like something from Hoarders it would still be no excuse for his behaviour. I’m at my Husband’s work now supposed to be doing wages for the boys. I’m pretty sure they can see steam coming out my ears! I could come over to the US and punch him in the nose. Much love Stephanie. Catherine xoxo
Stephanie, I am so sorry you were hurt by that scum sucking pig. He is too stupid to live. He had a wonderful woman like you and he drove you away. Let him wallow in his misery. March is so right he can’t stand to see you happy so the best way to punish him is to be as happy as possible. And Diane’s “wet fart in a bucket” was about the funniest thing I’ve heard in ages. What a visual! Think of that when he starts to get to you. It’ll make you giggle.
You are awesome and we love you. He’s a fool.
Ah Stephanie, what a pathetic insecure little man he is. Seriously. He’s a fucking joke. And those pansy ass insults he’s hurling at you? Fucking wear them as badges of honor.
Stephanie, what he did and said makes me very angry. This is gas lighting, putting the blame on you, it’s immature and childish. He is like a bully. And no, it doesn’t take two to tango to his tune, it takes one to violate. And like Daisy says, he is a fool. So sorry you experienced this. None of what he says is true. You know that and we know that.
Oh God it is so hard to see this when it is happening to you and so easy to see it happening to others – I spent 1 hr on the phone tonight trying not to rip my hair out and I have had the calmest 4 weeks not speaking to him – how much more evidence do I need? I think he is going to try and screw me financially
with you, wity you, with all of you. You do not deserve to be treated this way. Doesn’t care??????? NOT OK?
You will heal, for now it just hurts,
DesireeStephanie, there will be a day when you would not want to stay long enough to hear anything comes out of his mouth because you will not even stand the polluted air that he is breathing, you will get to a point where you want to throw up at the thought of ever talking to him again,
You will never want to be with this creature ever againLove to you, you deserve the best.
Stephanie,
I’m sorry youre sad too and think you’re the cats meow. I agree with everyone else.I do have a question: Is he really short and have a really small penis?
LOL Nap! No he’s really tall with a good sized penis, but that doesn’t matter. I was thinking last night and I realized, he doesn’t get to hurt me anymore. Nope, he is not allowed! You guys really help put things in perspective. I was also thinking about what Teri said before. The things he said affect me because of how I feel about me. What he thinks shouldn’t matter. I feel unworthy of love and care when he says those things, but that’s not true. It’s just him that can’t love or care. Just because he can’t doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with me. I keep forgetting. I was brainwashed for so long. In fact, him being such a DICK helps with closure and knowing I did the right thing.
Stephanie, you are so amazing and you should never again be with a man who doesn’t recognize that and cherish you for the goddess that you are.
You are one smart cookie, Stephanie. You just glow when you’re happy and he’s jealous as hell that he can’t. He just can’t, he’s one big black void.
Your son is a sweetie. It’s ok that he hugged you, and when you show your appreciation for his care, he will feel HE is worthy, too. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Not a creepy thing, just a family looking out for one another You do not have to be perfect to be a mom. If you did, they’d have revoked my privileges about, oh sixteen years ago.
Good job, Mom!
It’s funny Stephanie, I always picture him looking like one of those troll dolls they used to have when I was a kid so I totally get Nap’s question about him being short with a small penis (and squat with long orange hair that sticks way up). I guess I’m just picturing what he looks like on the inside. 🙂
Yes, Daisy, that’s how his true, inner self comes across. He is pathetic, Stephanie. The further you get your emotional and spiritual life from him, the stronger your self-esteem will be. You are doing amazing things – raising children AND holding down a good job with no help. You are one of the many beautiful goddesses here on earth. His messages about you come from a hellish place inside his body. I think he is very jealous of you and all you are capable of. Rest, be sad, enjoy your children, move on. Love to you.
Stephanie, You are my hero in so many ways. You just keep tackling everything that comes your way with so much spunk and sweetness. You just keep doing what you are doing. Stephanie is one amazing woman.
Dear Stephanie,
Don’t be shedding any tears over that sack of shit and don’t listen to the vile drivel that comes out of his mouth. He is just pissed off that you won, that you walked away first and on your own merit. He probably figured you would have crawled back home by now but he figured wrong? 😉 He does NOT define your worth or your lovability either. I think you should try to arrange a means to seriously go no contact now. Have someone else drop the kids or stay in the car or cab them or something. You are done with him Steph. Let him take his penis and do what he likes with it. Heal and move on. There is a better man waiting but you have to lay the past to rest first. Concentrate all your energy on your and your kids. Don’t talk to him anymore. EVER. You are going to be better than fine…. Karen xx
I have a little follow up to the whole thing:
I got a text today
“I’ll be honest with you. I was hurt and mad that you told everyone how bad of a marriage you had with me. I thought it should have been private and discussed with me and your therapist. I knew you weren’t happy but didn’t know it was that bad. So I said stuff to hurt you and went overboard like I always do. It’s one of my many flaws.”“I want to apologize for my behaivor. I felt bad all night at work for making you cry. I never meant to break your heart.”
“You have no idea how much I miss you”
“I will go to therapy”
“Will you stay for dinner”
“Can we have sex?”
yes ladies, you read that last one correctly. AFTER ALL THE STUPID DRIBBLE ABOUT BEING SORRY, ETC., HE WRITES…
“CAN WE HAVE SEX?”
So, just so you know, he says what I want to hear to get what he wants or hopes to get i.e. sex.
Nothing of what he says is true. His penis is in control of him. He cares of nothing but his penis.
Don’t worry. I didn’t fall for it. I just thought it could be an interesting case study for y’all.
🙂
What a cad. I think you did well Stephanie even tho you endured lots of abuse.
Please ignore those texts. He doesn’t even deserve a ‘no thanks’ from you. You are so above all of that. He is way beneath you.
And for God’s sake change all of your settings on Facebook to just friends only. Block his ass too so even thru another’s page he won’t be able to see any future good news you share on Facebook and he can’t taint the well wishes you receive about whatever happiness you are posting about via fb either.
When he’s being nasty try to walk away from it or hang up. He knows just what to say to hurt you. I hate that he made you cry by bullying you with nastiness soley to make himself feel better. As you can see by his texts he switches on a dime.
Stay strong!!
- The forum ‘Divorce’ is closed to new topics and replies.