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Please welcome our new Sister, Beth.
Beth wrote in her profile that she joined the Sisterhood because she is married to a Sex Addict.
Welcome Beth, you are in a safe place now to share and ask questions and find answers.
We all share the common bond of experience here and we are in various stages of Discovery and healing. You will hear many opinions but you will always be supported no matter what your choices.
Just let us know what you need Beth, we are all here for you.
Love and light for your journey ~ JoAnn
Yes Beth, Welcome. Everything JoAnn has said is true. Please do what you need to take care of you.
Warmly,
DesireeBeth,
So sorry for the betrayal you have endured. This is a very unique place, where it is safe to share and learn and be painfully real. We cry and laugh together, about things nobody who hasn’t walked this path would understand so well.
I wish you didn’t have reason to find us. But since you do, I’m glad you did. Looking forward to getting to know you, Beth.
Beth – Welcome to the Club nobody wanted to be a member of. We are here for you. Share your story when you are ready and we will try to help you navigate.
Thank you all,
This group, in its pre “sisterhood” site was very helpful to me in my first awareness of my partner’s issues (4 years ago now). I have been blindly ignoring my husband’s “recovery” for the past year and a half, after burning out on “hypervigilence” and his active work on his issues.
The latest disclosure was “just” a return to fantasizing, but his pattern of disclosure and response to my attempts to discuss made me remember just who it was I’ve been married to. I really didn’t want to come back here. I really didn’t want to think about it any more, but I’m trying to be a bit more proactive. I hope to share more as time goes on.
bethHello, Beth,
thanks for telling us a little of your story. I hope you will be able to find what you need to make your choices, understand yourself better, and believe in yourself too. This is a very hard journey, and not much help from the “pro’s”. We will do our best for you.
light for your journey
Diane.Welcome Beth. I’m sorry you need to be here but glad you found your way (back) here. Thanks for sharing a bit of your story. We’re here to listen and support whenever you are ready to share. This site has been a life saver for many of us.
Hugs,
DaisyHi Beth, welcome and I am sorry you are “back”. After 4 years , you must be worn out. We understand.
Hi Beth. Welcome to the ‘hood. I’m sorry you’re back. This is definitely a mind and body energy robbing situation. My hope for you is to think about yourself and what you need not what SAH needs. I also try not to think about this all the time, even a little denial just to get through some days. You sound very smart and strong and you will get through this with more clarity as I hope we all do
Welcome to the sisters Beth. I hope you get the comfort and guidance you need to help you through this. xo Catherine
Welcome Beth. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope the stories here can provide you with insight and support.
Welcome Beth! You must be just exhausted 🙁 I do believe we can help ease your load, Sister. Tell us what you need, and let’s get to work figuring out a way to set your world right. Love, Liza
My husband just told me yesterday that his new escape has been living on a chat line impersonating a woman quitting smoking. His “addiction” has been smoke fetish relater, and previously led to obbsessive watching, fantasies, then smoking related porn and prostitutes. Now, he found another way to meet his desire for a private space. Trying hard not to reel.
That’s a new one.
SA’s have an extraordinary capacity to surprise us. Maybe it is a good thing that they’re predictable in many ways.
Welcome (back) Beth – unfortunately your tale is probably not a new one and a good reminder that even if we are able to “stop the bleeding” of the current situation with our SAs, we’re in for a lifetime of “slip-ups” and “acting out”. So sorry you’re in for a fresh round.
Dear Beth,
A very warm welcome. I hope you find some of what you need here. There is little doubt about it, when it comes to SA it seems to be a never ending story. 🙁 Tell us more when you feel ready. Karen xx
Hi Beth
So sorry you have to be here, but also glad that you have found us. Beth, could you please share your story with us when you feel you are able to. It helps to know you better, also do you have any children? How are they coping, warm hugs from South AfricaHi again all,
Not really ready to remember and think through the old and now the new. My kids are ‘big’. Not too aware of the latest. I did a good job this time of keeping his melt down and my reaction away from them. In fact, the latest discloure just happened last night, and then he left this morning early for a trip out of the country and the two girls (14 and 20) and another teen girl and i drove 12 hours to spend the second half of spring break at the beach. Felt the whole day like i was run over by a truck but the need to do all the driving and stay away from any real thoughts was helpful. No, it is not what i anticipated as context for this short vacation with them, but it is a god send. They are all giggling as i type. Makes me remember what is real.Beth,
Sorry you’ve had to find your way back here after this amount of time. We all understand the pain and hope you will find some solace here.
Those of us who are relatively new to this “underworld” would love to hear your story four years out.
Hope you enjoy the beach stay. Let us know how you are doing.
Big hug for you,
KandiceBeth, I don’t want to make light of the situation because I realize how devastating this is. So please know that i relate and empathize with you. But I just have to say… Smoking related fetish? What’s up with that? What is it with these guys?
Eliza,
No, the incredulity you express, and seeming to make light, doesn’t help. Would it be easier for you if i left that part out and just said porn, prostitutes, impersonating a woman online, fantasizing about having women perform sexual behaviors just for him? Now i am remembering why it was safer to deal alone.Beth, my SA would impersonate women online too, his female personas on chats and dating sites were bisexual nudist women. He has an obsession with nudism.
Thanks for sharing Victoria. The impersonation thing is new, as far as i know, and was really really hard for him to share about. I had no clue, and only found out because there were some indications of short visits to dating sites on his computer that I asked him to explain. His shame and hatred of exposing this to me was intense and also his sureness that if i found out it would mean an absolute rejection of him entirely. I know for him there is deep rooted drive for comfort, less than stimulation. His time spent as a female online apparently was cathartic, and then opened him back up to more of the desire to act out sexually. Or maybe the direction is the opposite.. Maybe he was feeling comforted because he was reaching a closer way of feeding his ‘addiction’. I don’t think right now he knows which way the causality is running.
Beth, Please don’t take offense at Eliza’s words. I’m sure she meant no disrespect. Girl, if I had a dollar for every time someone on the site wrote “what is it with these guys?”…. Cause let’s face it, these dudes are majorly fucked up. Yours, Mine, Eliza’s…. They ALL are. On the ‘Fucked-Up-Meter, the smoking fetish is weird, granted, but compared to some of the shit that we’ve seen come down the pike…..’stomping and crushing’ porn, ‘rape’ porn, bestiality, ‘torture’ porn…. Well the smoking thing seems rather quaint in comparison. Please keep sharing – this is a safe place. For the Sisters, that is. For the SA’s, not so much.
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