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I leave for California and a 3 day couple intensive with Dr. Minwalla this afternoon. I fly from NC and sah flies from Baltimore but we end up on the same plane to LA at the lay over. I hope I get seated next to some handsome man in his line of sight 😉
I am not really nervous, but I have this feeling that I will know definitively by the end of the 3 days, that my sah will not be willing to do the work it will take to change his life. I am hoping that Minwalla can get him to be honest about some things, but I think sah would rather die on his sword then admit to his activities. I am going to try to get as much out of the 3 days for me as I possibly can, and then I will come home and get those real estate agents in to help me launch my plan B. I will keep you all posted on how it goes. Please say a prayer for me – I am taking all of you with me for strength. sah won’t recognize this cool, calm, strong wife!Trish, I will be thinking about you and the validation that you will get from Minwalla, particularly if your husband stonewalls. I have a feeling he’ll open up enough to opt for further treatment. Just the fact that he’s going says a lot to me.
He has met his match with Minwalla. Your H has gotten his way for so long and is so conditioned to your loving faithfulness that he has no idea how to deal with the real world. I don’t really care whether he gets help or not, but I care about you Trish. I think the strong new person you are will carry you.
Prayers for your journey..
I will be thinking of you Trish. I know you will be more than fine. It will be useful if Minwalla can pin your H down enough to see if he is serious OR if this is more of the same old same old? Either way you are not the same old, same old- not anymore Trish. Hugs and Prayers, Karen xx
trish,
all the best for your 3 day intensive! i think you have gone to the right place.. i hope you get all the support you need and more. xo
Trish,
It sounds like you are looking after yourself first and foremost. Good for you.
My experience with Minwalla and his staff was wonderful. I wish the same for you. I went for just myself, so I can’t say about the sessions for couples. I believe he takes a hard line and stresses accountability for the SA.
If you have the opportunity, tell him hello for me. We are all waiting on that book from him…
In sisterly love and support,
KandiceTrish wishing you the best and look forward to the update. Also. I am in SoCal so if one night you just need a break give me a call
I’m so excited for you, Trish! I think Minwalla will get your husband to “fish or cut bait”. You can feel like you’ve done all the right steps.
I’ve been out of town (and off of SOS for a week), so I only got a look at the wedding photos today. You looked gorgeous!! I’m so glad that you were able to enjoy the beautiful wedding.
You rock, Trish! Go get ’em
following in your footsteps girl! Beautiful wedding photos – feeling very patriotic at this moment:-) Meg
Sending you love and strength, Trish. I know you will be fine, no matter what happens at Minwalla’s. It will be interesting to hear if Minwalla can reach your SA, and how he responds. I hope it validates all the wonderful strong choices you have made so far.
Hugs!
Thanks for all of the love and support ladies! it is 3:50 am and he is snoring his heart out! I am so tempted to grab a couple of pillows and smother him to death. He forgot his CPAP. I have ear plugs but he snores right through them. We are in separate beds but in the same room. I haven’t been in the same bedroom with him since the night before dday 11/3/12. When I saw him at the airport (we connected to the same flight) I just thought – yuck! I was not glad to see him or happy that he had agreed to go to see Minwalla. I was just relieved that I did not have to sit with him all the way to CA. Then when I noticed he had not brought his CPAP, I wanted to kill him! I guess I’ll have to get my own room for tonight. I hope I get something from this trip for me. I just really think I am over him.
Get your own room ASAP!!
The only reason to share a hotel room with a man is to have sex with him. Fuck that 🙂
I’ll be thinking about you Trish. I hope your H listens to Minwalla for the sake of your kids. I hope you are over him and stay over him. You have payed enough. He is too expensive. He is a soul sucking parasites and should never have put you through all this extra pain in order for him to seek help…..
Trish, I agree with everything Bev said – especially the “get your own room” part!! I’m waiting on pins and needles to hear what Minwalla says. I think there’s a ton of validation coming your way. Your MFPOS is really gonna hate that. 🙂
Dear Trish,
Maybe you are over him……or maybe you are FINALLY getting mad, good and mad. As you should, after that debacle of a mediation experience he put you through. I am REAL curious to see what this experience is like for you. Forgot his stuff? Yeah, right asshole. Karen xx
Gotta say Trish, you’ve painted a picture of a mighty sexy man there – what with the machine on his face and the 9 month’s preggo belly. Kindof brings to mind that scene from “The Elephant Man” – “I am not an animal!”
Trish…..I was thinking he forgot his polygraph, not his breathing machine. 😉 I must admit…I feel sort of nervous for you. I’m not sure why? I guess its that sensation that you have no friggen idea how big a bomb these guys can drop on you…just when you think you have heard it all? Though I suppose Minwalla cannot hold him down and apply electrodes to make him talk. 😉
OK. Day one is complete. I got my own room. I really like Minwalla and I am completely exhausted. It is 4:30 and I have the rest of the night ahead of me. I scheduled a massage for when we finish tomorrow afternoon. Tonight I will try to catch up on the sleep I missed last night listening to him snore.
AM and PM sessions today were for both of us together with Minwalla. We both had lots of time to speak, but had to remain quiet when the other was talking. I nearly exploded! It appears my sah hates me. He told a lot of lies and blamed me for all kinds of things. I was able to call him on all of it. Minwalla was very validating to both of us. At the end of the day he assured me that I was not crazy and that my feelings of anger were very valid and he also told sah that his responses toward me for the last 4 months are very common – not excused but common. The only time sah showed any emotion besides controlled anger toward me, was when I brought up his mother’s suicide. Minwalla got right on his tears and made him explain what he was feeling, why the tears, the emotion etc. He pushed us both a bit but with gentleness and kindness. He pointed out sah’s reactions to hurt me financially and punish me for standing up for myself. He will work with h tomorrow one on one after meeting us both again in the morning. Then with me one on one afterward, then we are back together late afternoon. Regardless of where this leads, I am glad I came. More later.Whew, that does sound exhausting. Glad to hear the overview, and that you are validated and supported so well.
Thanks for keeping us updated, Trish. You go girl!!Trish thank you for taking the time to post. I’m on the edge of my seat waiting for the next one. Minwalla sounds amazing. I better not go because I think I could fall in love. xo
I am so glad ( no matter the outcome) that you have this chance to be heard and validated. I hope you sleep well and I am thrilled you got your own room!!
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