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April 5, 2013 at 5:56 pm #7126jos1972Participant
Found this… Looking up anything to do with families and addiction…
http://Www.addictioninfamily.com/family-issues/addiction-family-therapy-models/“During the 1980′s, there was also recognition by professionals in the field that addiction was a family disease. Thus individuals in close relationships with addicts or alcoholics possibly suffered from a disease of codependency because their feelings of self-worth and personal identities were enmeshed with people in addiction. Dr. Timmen Cermak even proposed criteria for making codependency a medical diagnosis (White, 1998).
A variety of professionals wrote about codependency. In fact, Melody Beattie in 1987 “launched a veritable social phenomenon” with her book Codependent No More (White, 1998). With great enthusiasm, Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse estimated that 96% of the U.S. population suffered from codependence (Wilson-Schaef, 1986). The difficulty, however, was that the definition of codependency became so broad as to include “anyone who has been affected by the person who has been afflicted by the disease of chemical dependency” (Wilson-Schaef, 1986). Then this codependency definition eventually included “anyone who lives in a close association over a prolonged time with anyone who has a neurotic personality” (Wilson-Schaef, 1986). These estimations and definitions were actually part of a general hypothesis around codependency that could not be substantiated. Mellody (2003) even admitted that there was no scientific validity for the concept of codependency.”
Fuck you Carnes et al
April 5, 2013 at 6:15 pm #84876daisy1962MemberHa indeed!
April 5, 2013 at 6:22 pm #84877lynng2ParticipantI think he knows that his works and the basis for it have been clinically denounced. But people are still paying, still buying his books, still quoting him. Maybe I’m missing it, but he doesn’t seem too concerned about his peer reviews at all. He’s retiring in a grand fashion, has handed over a family business, and is a divorced “recovering” SA with the world as his oyster.
He’s laughing all the way to the bank.
The use of alcoholism as as basis for treatment models is just flat out wrong. The two are NOT interchangable. Sexual objectification is not the same as opening a bottle of alcohol, there are no punishing “hangovers” from sexual debauchery, but there are a LOT more dangerous disease fallouts for TWO or exponentially more people. The unsuspecting wife or sexual partners who are exposed are not bellying up to the bar with the SA, or hiding his sexual conquests to prevent gossip. Most of the time they simply do not know. Period. Destroying your marriage and your wife is not the same as a drunken bender. They are just functionally, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually different. That’s why the AAA treatment models have such miserable success rates, and especially for partners. Thy are meant to treat a totally different issue.
Sorry, putting my soapbox away now.
April 5, 2013 at 6:43 pm #84878kmfMemberGood one, Jos.
April 5, 2013 at 6:58 pm #84879jos1972ParticipantI agree Lynn. I think for us we need treating for trauma first then grief… At least that’s the journey I feel I’ve been on – all the whole staring an abuser down the barrel of a gun, well figuratively – am not a southern gal lol
April 5, 2013 at 7:13 pm #84880daisy1962MemberThat is an excellent explanation about why the 12 step model doesn’t work, Lynn. At least not for partners. I’m not entirely convinced it works for SAs either except in conjunction with really, really good therapy from a Minwalla devotee. And no circle bullshit.
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