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that’s what DW said yesterday if i make it ‘too hard’ for him (ask for spousal support, not give up my half of the pension).
he’s afraid i’m going to ‘ask for more and more’ and told me i’m ‘unpredictable’ (because i considered and ruled out many of our different options).
that’s when he said he would just go away and disappear.
oh sisters, i knew he was full of shit, and he was baiting me. it was so hard for me not to say
‘please, yes, dissapear, i would fucking love that!’
this would be fuel for him to say how mean i am, so i resisted, but oh, did i think it!
instead i asked him if he would like it if i told my son’s friends parents that he said that. if i told my parents. ‘should i tell everyone that’s what you are saying?’
that did the trick, he backed off.
but oh… do i wish he actually meant it! i would LOVE that. disappear DW, disappear! Please!
he is just ACHING for some drama, i can feel it. he wants to come to a separation agreement, or at least agree on a lot of things before he will sign with the realtors. it’s a control tactic. i’m trying to just breathe through that, and know that it’s probably more posturing, more barking like a crazed dog.
patience… calm… i know he will probably sign. and i can ‘agree’ to whatever i need to, right? just get him to sign the fucking papers with the realtors. and shut the fuck up.
and disappear. please DW, would you do that?
he’s not, but if i was.. i’d put him in a magic hat and throw it off the ferry into the georgia straight!
I hate that motherfucker so much. I wish you could have looked him dead in his lying eyes and said very quietly “I can make that happen” but I understand why you couldn’t. I applaud your self control Lisa.
What a sack of shit he is and that is DEFINITELY an attempt to get you to give up what you are entitled to. Don’t listen to him. Disappearing is a great deal more difficult than it sounds and he doesn’t have the guts. Hold firm, stay calm and don’t bite. Get him to sign to sell the house and then the divorce papers. He is weak and pathetic and ridiculous. So much for how much he “loves ” you. Asshole.
Karen xxThese guys have so damn much in common. Basic immaturity for starters.
Lisa, you are are on the right track. They love DRAMA and they love to blame you for being “out of control”. It took me so many years NOT to buy into it. Today I am feeling free of sending one more “stay out of all of our lives forever” email. It won’t get sent. He deserves not one more nanosecond of my energy.
The last 2 weeks of the sale I had to just stay calm focused on the tasks at hand AND keep RAT out of the loop. He was poised to throw dynamite into the works.
Buyer was NOT EASY. She asked endless questions about our disclosures for the 100 year old house, permits, neighbors, etc. etc, etc. I was under the gun to do all the work in a way that would keep us free from any liability FOREVER. RAT? Just was in the mood for a temper tantrum. BASTARD!
You Lisa, are handling this just right. Keep it up girl. We are right here for you as you gently remove yourself from his snare.
I agree with JoAnn. You have the power!!! You are doing great and I’m super proud of you. Sometimes we just have to be the bigger person.
Much love, Claire
“Sometimes we just have to be the bigger person.”
Luckily, this doesn’t take any effort on our part. 🙂
thanks courtney. it’s great to have a place where i can say what i would like to say to him. a place to let it out safely.
He’s GOING to disappear? As in future tense disappear? hahahaha
Stupid MF, he has been “diasppeared” for the whole marriage. Next time he says that then ask him how you will know? What will be the difference?
Bev, I think you could be a stand up comedian during Minwalla’s intensives.
SA RAT would accuse me of being sarcastic when I would point out all the inconsistencies in his behaviors. He was an expert at deflecting and the committed wife in me gave the MF the benefit of the doubt. RAT took full vantage of my kind qualities. BASTARD.
Marriage? A highly unsafe institution.
Lisa – you are safe here. Let it out. Let it all out.
Lisa you are wonderful. I swear it is a test to simply say these things in our heads and not out loud. Sometimes I think my lips must be moving at the very least. You have my admiration for not taking the bait on that one. Though if he does disappear maybe he can take the rest of them with him…
if the world were a fair place, they would all disappear. i have so much anger in me since he said that shit. and he’s acting all bewildered and hurt. i’m not saying anything against him, but i’m definitely detaching like a mofo. basically staying as far away as i can so i can keep my cool. i just need to make it until friday, then i’m in brazil for two weeks. hooray!
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