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I got a LinkedIn invite from the Partner Therapist where my SA is getting “treatment.” They wanted me to see her, of course, but after our prelim call when I said I don’t like the term co-addict and she said “everyone is a co-addict/co-dependent in some ways… you’ll find you’ll be co-dependent on your son” I decided it wasn’t for me.
Anyway, I took much delight in being able to send this:
Faye,
While I know this was probably auto-generated to link up, I want to use the opportunity to say how disappointed I am in the treatment model for Sex Addiction, particularly in the way it shuts out partners and does not address steps necessary to support saving a marriage. How many times did I hear that SAXXX “needs to focus on his recovery first?”The Co-addict model is detrimental to partners, and insulting. I urge you and your colleagues at Compulsive Solutions to look into the APSATS treatment model and certification.
This article pretty much sums up how I feel about the current treatment models, and how they continue the abuse of the partner of a Sex Addict:
http://voices.yahoo.com/stop-abuse-partners-sex-addicts-12073749.htmlBest wishes,
I like it! More people need to do this. I wish I had, with the recovery programs I tried but found too hurtful.
Good for you, Eliza. No more putting up with that co-addict crap or quietly going away. Fuck that!
Let us know if you hear anything back- I will be surprised if you do, frankly.
Eliza,
Really well done sister. Yes, please let us known if she responds. We need to keep educating these people because it does more harm than good.Good email!
Makes me want to write my former therapist and call her out on leading me to believe she had formal training in sa.
Do you have experience with porn and sex addicts I asked before the first appt. she said yes.
Naive me thought that meant formal training. The experience she has are from clients coming to her with these issues.
She totally wasted my time and money.
Awesome!!! Yes, I do my best to correct some falsehoods. Thank You so much for sending this letter.
Some of the things I need other to understand.
1) Cheating has nothing to do with the faithful partner and everything to do with the character flaws in the cheater.
Every marriage has marital problems, NOT every marriage has infidelity.
2) I am not a co-addict. I take no responsibility in decisions I had NOTHING to do with. I had no knowledge of his sexual behavior. To label me a co-addict is very damaging and places blame on my shoulders.
3) It takes a great deal of self-hate to use a whore.I am glad someone else sees #3. Why don’t they get that? Not that it really matters, but that is one of those things that I keep realizing I’m banging my head against a wall about. Why don’t they see that says their self worth is beyond filth? It’s like another dimension of human loathing.
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