Home discussions Sex Addiction Treatment Center And Counselor Reviews Emailed an old therapist about how co-addict label damaging

Viewing 12 posts - 1 through 12 (of 12 total)
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  • #7501
    eliza
    Participant

    I got a LinkedIn invite from the Partner Therapist where my SA is getting “treatment.” They wanted me to see her, of course, but after our prelim call when I said I don’t like the term co-addict and she said “everyone is a co-addict/co-dependent in some ways… you’ll find you’ll be co-dependent on your son” I decided it wasn’t for me.

    Anyway, I took much delight in being able to send this:
    Faye,
    While I know this was probably auto-generated to link up, I want to use the opportunity to say how disappointed I am in the treatment model for Sex Addiction, particularly in the way it shuts out partners and does not address steps necessary to support saving a marriage. How many times did I hear that SAXXX “needs to focus on his recovery first?”

    The Co-addict model is detrimental to partners, and insulting. I urge you and your colleagues at Compulsive Solutions to look into the APSATS treatment model and certification.

    This article pretty much sums up how I feel about the current treatment models, and how they continue the abuse of the partner of a Sex Addict:
    http://voices.yahoo.com/stop-abuse-partners-sex-addicts-12073749.html

    Best wishes,

    #93612
    lynng2
    Participant

    I like it! More people need to do this. I wish I had, with the recovery programs I tried but found too hurtful.

    #93613
    daisy1962
    Member

    Good for you Eliza!

    #93614
    allcat62
    Member

    Well done Eliza. Let’s hope your email makes a difference. xo

    #93615
    teri
    Participant

    Good for you, Eliza. No more putting up with that co-addict crap or quietly going away. Fuck that!

    Let us know if you hear anything back- I will be surprised if you do, frankly.

    #93616
    nap
    Participant

    Eliza,
    Really well done sister. Yes, please let us known if she responds. We need to keep educating these people because it does more harm than good.

    #93617

    Yes, well done!

    #93618
    kimberely
    Member

    Good email!

    Makes me want to write my former therapist and call her out on leading me to believe she had formal training in sa.

    Do you have experience with porn and sex addicts I asked before the first appt. she said yes.

    Naive me thought that meant formal training. The experience she has are from clients coming to her with these issues.

    She totally wasted my time and money.

    #93619
    carriellen
    Participant

    Awesome!!! Yes, I do my best to correct some falsehoods. Thank You so much for sending this letter.

    Some of the things I need other to understand.
    1) Cheating has nothing to do with the faithful partner and everything to do with the character flaws in the cheater.
    Every marriage has marital problems, NOT every marriage has infidelity.
    2) I am not a co-addict. I take no responsibility in decisions I had NOTHING to do with. I had no knowledge of his sexual behavior. To label me a co-addict is very damaging and places blame on my shoulders.
    3) It takes a great deal of self-hate to use a whore.

    #93620
    lynng2
    Participant

    I am glad someone else sees #3. Why don’t they get that? Not that it really matters, but that is one of those things that I keep realizing I’m banging my head against a wall about. Why don’t they see that says their self worth is beyond filth? It’s like another dimension of human loathing.

    #93621
    972
    Member

    Mine always claimed that he has zero self worth. I believe him now.

    #93622
    zola
    Participant

    That’s great! You are courageous. I am really glad you did this. I hope the therapist responds in some way.

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