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October 24, 2013 at 12:22 am #8556
sharron
ParticipantI know a few of you have asked what my life is like now.
I am still Divorced and living alone, which will be forever. My Ex decided to name me as primary beneficiary of his trust-who knows why, but I am not gonna say no.
He is still the sex addict he has always been with absolutely no improvement-same pro lies, high fetish fantasy’s, and objectification. Anything-even billboards.
His family disowned him after he disclosed everything about his addiction to them. He has no friends, and I am the only friend he has.
By that, I mean FRIEND. I have absolutely no feelings for this man whatsoever. I fell out of love with him a year ago. When I talk to him it is like talking to a neighbor. (A weird feeling). He is what he is, and that will never change.
So beware, for those of you who are new and are on the fence, I would like to give an opinion. My Ex has had 2 years of therapy, has read every self-help book on the market, and spent 2 weeks attending an Intensive in California. His brain is programmed this way, and that is what happens after years with a sex addiction, It is what it is. He, like many other men, have appeared stongly motivated and gone through the steps towards recovery, but the brain is now programmed towards addiction, and it would take years to even get to the point of managing his addiction. So girls, think very seriously before you decide to stay with your h. Do this ONLY if you are prepared to accept the addiction or be prepared to go through years and years of slips and relapses while he is working on recovery. I have yet to see an SA who has recovered. I know it is difficult and a devestating decision to make when or if you decide to leave. I Did – for all the reasons above. It was taking a toll on my mental and physical well-being. Don’t let anyone do that to you.
Now, on a good note- I am starting a support group for wives of Sex Addicts. It will be underway the first week of January. My pastor’s allowed me to have the meetings in a room at church, as they agree there is a real need for these kinds of groups out in the community. I chose to make it non church affiliated, as that will give me more freedom to run the group the way I want. I am in the process of sending flyers out to all the Therapist’s and churches in the area, and there will be one hanging in our church with an announcement in our newsletter.
JoAnn has given me tips for getting started, (such a sweetheart) so she and S.O.S. will be one of the references I use so the gals can gain resources and information from here, and maybe might consider joining so they can learn straight from the mouth what it is like being married to a sex addict. I will encourage that. Anyway, I am very excited about this, so hope nothing gets in the way of getting this thing going.
Just came back from the Dr. There is still infection, although slightly better. He feels when I see the Infectious Disease Doc tomorrow that I may be having more IV medication. I was surprised I only got one, because usually it is given every 12 hrs. in the hospital. We shall see. Wish me luck.
I will start catching up on posts tomorrow.
Hugs to you all,
Sharron -
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