- This topic has 29 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 4 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
1. excessive personal grooming of pubic region, including trimming, shaving, etc.
2. takes excessive amount of time when using public restrooms, or bathrooms in other people’s homes.
3. may suddenly acquire a goatee.
Red car
Stink bombs
Mb in the shower
100 dollar BillS in car
Baby butt feet
Secretive
Eye fuck woman in public
Flirt in front of us
Jerk like behavior
Passive aggressive
1. Attends church regularly.
2. Coaches the kids’ sports teams.
3. Chaperones boy scout camp-outs.
4. Always home by 5:30.
5. Plans awesome family vacations.
6. Employee of the Year.
7. Brings thoughtful gifts to you after every business trip.EVERYBODY just LOVES him and if you so much as utter “he forgot to take the garbage out” then everybody proceeds to tell you how great he is…..
What is the deal with bathrooms? Mine did the same thing. Dissappeared into bathrooms in mini marts for very long time. They were one stall bathrooms most of the time. March, what you say is so true. Unbelievable what they can hide. Mine also eye fucked women,flirted in front of me, was secretive, passive aggressive, jerk like behavior, red car, gaotee, shaving/trimming in pubic region.
Another true statement Bev. I couldn’t stand the grocery store anymore bc the cashiers always went on about dr ahole and how great he was.
Will bend over backwards to help everybody else while leaving his own family in the lurch. Any complaint by you just proves what a horrible person you are.
Often have terrible driving records or otherwise careless, distracted behavior.
yep, Teri, mine did that too. He would literally RUN to the office to see a child with strep throat. Meanwhile his own kids all had it and he just ignored them. He also saw patients alone in the office( 5 doctor practice) on nights he was on call…..usually they were female and in their 20’s or 30’s. Whats wrong with these girls? I would be so creeped out if I saw a doctor alone in that great big building at 10:30 pm.
missing in action for long periods of time.. telling me he had to work.. and getting mad at me for questioning it at all saying I didn’t respect his heavy workload and how much stress he is under at work.. as I write this now he is ” working late” as a matter of fact.. I am sure fucking the hooker to his delight and laughing about me at home with his kids… even over the summer, friends at my pool used to really question me and say hey where is hubby? how could he possibly work so much.. I am a doctor and don’t work that much..
also very distant .. won’t come up to me at sporting events for the kids.. acts like he can’t find me.. now I know why… I guess he would feel guilty seeing me after he was fucking hookers.. only distant to me though.. everyone else LOVES him and thinks he is super duper.. that I am so lucky to have such a great guy.. !
1. Selfish and irresponsible. Do whatever they need to to feel OK no matter the consequences.
2. Do not control their emotions. Inclined to have temper tantrums.
3. Usually very successful in their career. Often ‘the boss’. Many work in emergency services (see 4).
4. Adrenalin junkies
5. Contrary
6. Ignore rules1. Somehow they magically find themselves in situations (job, school, hobbies) where they’re surrounded by young women
2. Seem to always be in a stage play, as if they’re watching themselves from afar.
3. Really suck at showing genuine affection (see above)
4. Always off to get massages for their ‘back pain.’
This post just really slapped me across the face! I feel like such a dumb shit! I hear on here over and over and some how want to think that my ASS HOLE h is Not one of these guys. I go back and forth but deep down I know!
1. Church man
2. Helps the whole world including our family
3. Very successful in his job!
4. Always worried if he looks good enough
5. Works all the time, all hours….he’s a Realtor but some of his clients from out of state need to be treated to dinner and see houses until sometimes 10pm…….those houses are vacant and the owners have already moved out!
6. Constantly eye fucks girls/women! It’s like he can be talking to me but can’t….literally can’t take his eyes off of a set boobs even as his head turns or while I’m calling him out on it!
7. OCDI hear you rj. Everyone thinks mine is such a great guy! He helps out anyone and everyone who needs help. Church man. Has always done nice things for me like bringing me my favorite candy or a sandwich or burrito from my favorite place. He is generous,willing to let someone else have something rather than him. Except when it comes to choking the monkey to teenage slut porn, then all bets are off. Or masturbating next to your wife. Or mastubating in the car, office, livingroom, shower, and God only knows where else. He is the master of eyefucking women. He can’t take his eyes off of boobs either. He does the look up and down even when he is looking straight at me and talking. What a jackass. It is so discouraging and confusing.
I dunno, Liza.. I kinda sorta really really like burritos. 🙂 xoxo
rj, I think most of us thought that in spite of everything, our SA wasn’t like that. Heck, I still have remnants of that thinking, because I pretty much assume that he’s being honest when he says he hasn’t ‘acted out’ for two years. (barfsome expression) And maybe he hasn’t, but thanks to the warnings and experiences of sisters here, I realize that I can’t really assume anything. xoxo
OK, so I’ll go deeper than the on-the-surface perfect husband and father front and list some things traits/behaviors that I dismissed before as simply annoying or bewildering, or even thought were funny/endearing:
1. Extremely vain. Basically sculpted his hair every morning with gel and then cut off the pieces that wouldn’t stay in place. Paid way too much attention to his clothes/shoes, weight, cologne, etc.
2. Always the funny guy–jokey to the point of being flirty. Liked attention.
3. Always wanted to go to bars/restaurants with a lot of people in them. If we went somewhere and the crowd was lacking, he’d ask to go somewhere else. Also had to sit facing the out, never just facing me.
4. Yes, constant trips to “innocent” places like Home Depot and gone longer than necessary.
5. NEVER remembered things that were very important and personal to me. For example, whenever the anniversary of my sister’s death came around, it would be as if he’d forgotten I ever even had a sister. Another example, we sometimes pass the property my grandparent’s house was on when I was a kid. A church now sits in that spot, and I told him about how strange it is to see a church where I was molested as a child. After the first time I pointed it out, he never mentioned it. Then, about a year later, we passed it and he said, “Isn’t there something about that church?”
5. Never seemed truly happy for me if I succeeded at something. For instance, when my first book was published or when I was invited to read in New York. Usually didn’t bother to come to readings, etc.
March my xh used to sit out whenever we went out to eat too. Rarely facing me. It was so odd I would call him on it, hed roll his eyes and reluctantly face me. He was never excited for my accomplishments to. He seemed to resent me for them. He would randomly forget important dates to the point the dates made me anxious.
Also, if we went to the mall together within 5 min he would ditch me and I spent most of the shopping trip looking for him. Finally would just go by myself. I’m so happy I’m not married to the fah anymore.
yes,,, all of those things.. omg.. but I am still married to him.. always rolls his eyes at me.. always annoyed at me when I accomplish even anything small.. doesn’t like it when the kids and I are sitting around having fun.. says they like me better .. and on and on.. I wrote some silly article and sent it into the local paper about being at the beach with 4 kids and it got published and he downplayed the whole thing… yes, yes, yes..
Oh and the MF never complimented me on my looks or if I got dressed up for him. My past BFs always said nice things to me and when I told my xh I find it odd he never compliments me (this was probably yr 5 of the 25 yr marriage) he said, “I wouldn’t have married you if you were ugly.”
All narc behaviors.
Mine never used to run off shopping by himself – I was always with him and we did pretty much everything together, until fall 2012 when he blew up…then when he moved back in a couple months later, the secrecy and sneaking started up. Extremely vain – in addition to all the other shit I’ve already posted, he ALWAYS keeps looking at himself in the rear view mirror when he’s driving…ppl have commented on that. Must always be at the top of whatever organization he’s in, and will accept the “Presidency” of ANY group, regardless of relevance or impact. Constantly looks for shortcuts and corner cutting schemes, his entire career now is basically nothing but attention hounding, showboating, and publicity seeking. Generates nothing of substance, produces no results…just goes media whoring for the next interview.
Yes on the sitting facing out thing. I used to tease him about it. But in retrospect he was probably checking out girls.
Yes – Forgetting things that were important to me. It got to the point where I was questioning my own sanity. I would mention something, he’d say “you never told me that” to which I’d be flabbergasted since I told him about a dozen times already.
Never complimented me, either. Even when I would get all dressed up and was fishing for compliments….never got them.
Like arleigh said: all narc behaviors.
1. Took one day a week off,work,for “family leave” of sorts, to take step,children to medical and counseling appts.
2. Was nicer to step kids than their father.
3. Went to,any kind of counseling with me that I asked.
4. Extra loving with cats. Modeled exceptional animal owning behavior to my kids. Worked,with neighbor to fix stray cats in neighborhood.
5. Went to my kids school events for years, including parent teacher conferences.
6. Supportive of my career, including lots of travel and development of short term rental in Yosemite.
7. Dependable bread winner.
8. High level of intelligence. Actively supported my kids in scholarly activities. All were very successful in K – 12 & college.
9. Consistently supported kids education, no matter what it was.
10. Helped cook, clean and work on house projects.
11. Supportive of all my interests and friends.
12. Was a MFPOS liar, cheat, fake, abuser, etc. SHIT.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.