- This topic has 31 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
My daughter called me this morning. She said dr ahole said he will leave her wedding after the father/daughter dance because he is afraid one of my family members will get drunk and go after him.
The wedding is in June. We live in PA but daughter lives in Florida and wedding will be there.
My father has had drinking issues in the past, but he would never cause a scene at anybodys wedding. Some of my siblings like to drink too. They would also never say anything to dr ahole.
I have a feeling fantasy woman is involved here. She is prob going to be at a hotel and doesn’t want to be stuck there all day alone. My daughter told her father he was not to bring fantasy woman to the wedding.
Once again, he is manipulating by using my family as the reason he is leaving the wedding when the real reason is fantasy woman.
He is such a coward.
Any advice on how to handle this one?
Honestly, I would be thrilled he was leaving the wedding no matter what the reason. I know this is about your daughter and I don’t know how she feels about Dad’s reasons but she will need to learn what kind of non-person he is at some point.
I would just assure her that no one is going to say a word to him and he’s a grown man and can make up his own mind….
Thats exactly what I did Bev…..I guess what bothered me was that he was able to convince my daughter that this may be a problem.
He really is such a slimy weasel…that is what my mother calls him 🙂
I wouldn’t say anything else about it at this time. Brides are stressed out enough. She isn’t going to really listen to anyone right now. Just stay calm and reassure her that there will be NO arguments at her wedding.
I would hire a PI at the wedding. I would have proof that he ran back to mystery GF. I might not ever use the proof and I might not ever need the proof but I would have it.
Once again he is blame shifting, like they all do.
I’m sorry that he was able to convince your daughter that your family is the problem. It seems like she would see by now how he picks his skank over his family every time. HE’S the problem, not your drunken family 🙂
I think your assessment is dead on. He isn’t leaving the wedding because he is concerned about your family. He is leaving because the new one will be put out by being shut out. You mentioned before that a couple of your daughters seemed to be taken in by him and NOT very supportive of you? Sit back and enjoy because they are about to find out exactly what his character is. He is already a freak and a coward but second wives don’t like to put up with hostile children from the first marriage. He will choose her and whatever “outdoor living and kinky sex” he figures he has going on. This will not be the first time he puts his kids second and soon they will find out exactly what that feels like. If I were you, I would speak to your daughter and offer to call off any potential family conflict and have her tell your Ex there is absolutely no need for him to leave his daughter’s wedding. You and your family intend to be completely civil and mature and would do NOTHINg to ruin her day. Then sit back, chuckle and watch the POS squirm because I guarantee he will still leave early. Manipulation can be used in both directions and showing him up for what he is will go a long way to mend your relationship with your kids. At the end of the day…that is what you want, right? Him out of the picture and you and your kids firmly involved in each others lives without his toxic presence. What a toad he is. Hugs Karen
You guys are right on target. God, I love this site! I am going to look up PI’s in the West Palm Beach area. My mother is going to take care of his bullshit about my family. She is going to say to daughter exactly what you said, Karen.
That is exactly what I want…him out of the picture and my children and I firmly involved in each others lives.
He has not given my daughter any money for her wedding. He is spending a shit ton on the new girl…vacations every weekend.
The good thing about all of this is that my family is really seeing how manipulative he is. It is going to bite him in the ass someday. But not at the wedding. For heavens sakes, we all know better than that.
These guys are such shits. They lie and lie to serve themselves, but when a little white lie might serve the greater good, they choose to be all up front and open. That son-of-a-bitch could have simply claimed he had a migraine after the dance and slipped out without any fanfare. Probably, no one would have noticed or cared. But Mr. Narc has to make a big deal out of it NOW, and do some pre-event blame shifting in order to be in the spotlight. Asshat.
Seems that they fall into categories …. Some just go full blown asshat from the jump. They are probably the easiest to deal with. They show all their cards right off the bat and you know exactly what you are dealing with.
Some hold on to the lie. They can’t even be honest with themselves and they think as long as one person ( mystery GF, daughter, anybody) believes their shit then it must be true….
I think these types are even more dangerous. March is right. He could have come up with a million excuses after the dance and had to leave ( no harm no foul). Now, he has everyone upset and dancing to his tune once again.
The psychology is fascinating but the reality is shit.
I’d hire the PI so fast it would make your head spin. It’s not about having proof for your sake. It’s about having proof for your daughter’s sake if she ever needs it. Odds are that he will make her crazy and she’ll spend her life trying to believe his excuses because he is her father. Her husband to be will get sick of it at some point….
Get proof that he couldn’t even skip one evening ( her wedding day) to be with her. He had to get to mystery GF. And, he’ll dump mystery GF eventually but maybe not in time to save your daughter from a lot of anguish.
Warn everyone in your family and friend circle to be extra polite to scumbag. Tell them it’s all being recorded or whatever. Smile and nod politely….. He’ll leave the wedding and blame it on your family no matter what. I would be armed with the truth when my daughter confronted me with whatever her dad says happened.
I learned all this from going to MC with my crazy H. No one would believe me. No one wanted to hear the “he said /she said” stuff. No one.
It’s not anyone’s fault but sometimes the “he said/she said” stuff is very important. In the case with children it would be a must. I know most say let the kids figure it out but I disagree when dealing with pure crazy. It’s not like he’s a great Dad and he just doesn’t love you anymore. He’s certifiable crazy…..
And once again he is making this about him. It should be about my daughter. He should just suck it up. He made his bed, now he needs to lie in it. But he refuses to take the blame for anything. And he is more that happy to manipulate by throwing my family under the bus. What a loser scumbag. I already looked into PI’s, Bev. I am seriously going to have him followed that weekend. My guess is he will hole her up in a 5 star hotel. She can beach it while he is at the wedding.
What a miserable, miserable example of a father. I am sorry your daughter even has to consider his “issues” as part of the planning for her big day. How dare he try to upstage because he’s afraid someone will be less than civil to his sorry ass. I say good riddance whatever time he chooses to skip out to live his other life. I hope everyone is so good that it’s just screamingly obvious that it was HIS CHOICE, like all the rest of this has been, to give second rating to his daughter on her wedding day. She’s not going to be surprised, it sounds like, but the rest of the guests may get a wake-up call. I don’t know about there, but in this town, that would be a black ball moment. He’d be O-U-T of so many social circles for that kind of crass behavior.
I’d just let him show his ass and leave. What can you do? Any other attempts to make plans will end up with him breaking them. What a loser.
Oh, and fantasy woman, she’s on the way out. She can’t let him live his life as he chooses for even one day, she’s too high maintenance to survive through the neglect these guys dish out. Hope she tears him a new one, and soon.
Aint that the truth. He is really a piece of cake this one. The upshot is you just KNOW he is going to shoot himself in the foot, sooner rather than later. What an idiot.
Oh yes, he is special indeed. He thinks he is so smart but he is actually dumb as a box of rocks. Fantasy girl will find out soon enough. I dont feel bad for her. she did this to herself. I’m gonna let him shoot himself in the foot. You all will be the first to know when it happens 🙂
My dream is that he overdoses on viagra and has a heart attack while he is with fantasy girl. Or maybe his dick will fall off. Either way would be fine with me.
I’m with March. Dad’s either all in on her wedding by staying til the end or he can just sit out this one and have date night with gf.
There’s no halfway point on this or compromise regarding full attendance.
The problem is he has manipulated my daughter into believing him and that he is a victim. My mother plans on saying something to her along the lines of ‘things like that have never happened in our family before. And furthermore, we are offended that he would even think for a minute that anyone from our family would go near him.’
Then I am going to just let it go. I will let him hang himself. He will look like a fool leaving his daughters wedding so early…..
Yep, he will show his true colors, all right.
It makes me wonder about fantasy woman, too. She can’t be a mother and go along with this. Who would have a man leave his daughter’s wedding early on their account. I wouldn’t want that man AT ALL. Period.
Have the MC at the reception announce the father daughter dance. Then they dance. And then have the MC announce: “and now the brides father is leaving the wedding”.
Oh how I wish I could have the MC say that
Fantasy woman is in her young 30’s. I think she is clueless. She prob doesn’t want to be left alone all day. Maybe she is sick of him hiding her. Maybe she is mad she can’t be at the wedding with him
All I know is that he is a coward. Maybe he should address why my family does not like him. It didn’t happen for no reason.
- The forum ‘Divorce’ is closed to new topics and replies.