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Okay, so my update so far is that no matter how anyone slices it, dices, it, looks, at it, thinks about it, trys to mess with it , whatever….whether he reached her, didnt, tried to , whatever the reason, I still dont give a crap….
I need to call it what it is… a boundary violation…a half-assed, stupid, asshole, idiotic, fucken dissapointing move that has now set me back into an incredible depression that feels just as horrific as it felt a year ago when I sent his sorry ass away.
So, that’s how I still feel, one week later, the feelings havent subsided, they havent changed, and I am incredibly sad, disappointed, hurt, and angry and I dont know if and when I will feel differently. I am sitting with this and he is sitting with me, sitting with this.
And that’s my update for now. I have spoken to Dr. Minwalla a couple of times and I have several options – some with him, some without him, and I am still just sitting and trying to decide what feels right. I am not in a rush. I feel pretty ambivlient about everything right now and until I feel strongly about anything, I am okay just doing nothing.Fair enough. Glad you are ok. Sorry and pissed that you are hurting and will leave it al that Sweetie.
Sometimes doing nothing is doing something.
There is no slicing or dicing. He violated a boundary. The ball is in your court. I wish you clarity and peace.
Take your time and be good to yourself. I am sorry you are reliving the initial shock waves. We were all warned that it would happen. Once an addict, always an addict or whatever it is they say. We know they will all ‘violate boundaries’. It’s just a matter of time…..
I’m a big fan of sitting with the feelings, letting them seep into all the cracks, so I really really know how I feel. That’s been my “growth area” so I hear ya sista barbra.
May you find yourself and hold onto yourself in the midst of the pain and ugliness of the truth. And then you will rise again, and be yourself, for yourself and your children. What decisions come are all yours to make, and ours to respect. We’re here no matter what.
Thinking of you Barbra. It’s good to sit on things until we know what’s what. I hope if you go to Minwalla you go for yourself.
Love, NapUpdate: Going to meet Minwalla in person for an indivudal session late next week and my SAH is going to the one-day workshop on the Trauma Model.
I think I am one of the folks in the June intensive but I guess I need to double check today….
Feeling better that I am taking some type of action although things are still pretty unsettled….“If you are facing in the right direction, all you have to do is keep on walking.”
Sounds like you are walking in the right direction. Good for you Barbra. Slow and steady.I think that is great news Barbra. Wishing you all the best and I loved your quote for Barbra Trish.
I am going this morning – thanks for asking! Its 4:00am and I am leaving for LA now — I will be back posting soon!
My head is spinning but I am okay. Waiting for my sah to come back from the workshop on the trauma model. So curious to hear what he thinks but I was told to give him a few days and for me to take a few days to process everything before taking action. I really found my appointment with Dr. Minwalla to be valuable and I am very glad I came. I have a lot of work to do but I was encouraged to slow down if I need too -I joked that if I am kicking my sah out I need to get it in my outlook now and get child care before school starts so I can get my plan all in place….I have a lot of thinking, processing, and reframing to do…. He wants me to call him in a few days after my sah have a chance to talk and let him know what I want to do -June intensive-private work-couples work-somatic work etc…..
What I do know is that I am not getting good treatment in my home state and neither is my sah….and I am better off spending that $ on shoes or chocolate.
My brain needs to rest………
Thanks for the update, Barbra. Since rest is what the good doctor ordered, please take some time and do just that! Love, Liza
Yes Barbra thanks for your update and happy you liked him and found it a valuable experience. Happy to have you back on SOS.
Love, NapGlad to hear from you Barbra. Rest and rest some more. I don’t believe any of us are getting all the right help.
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