An apology to the retreat sisters

thank you marie. i forgive you; we all make mistakes. i am totally heartbroken. love b.

I think that you’re an amazing woman, Marie. I was pretty sure that you were referring to me, but in some ways, I was flattered. I’ve never seen myself as the “pretty, popular girl”. I’ve often felt like an outsider and misunderstood.

I am deeply sorry that I brought this pain to this forum, even indirectly. I am not sorry for what I said for something I believe with all of my heart. I just want to add, for Katt and others. This was not because he was someone’s husband.

It was because he is a sex addict who is pretending to be some sort of counselor and charging an outrageous sum for his services. He has virtually no training and NO experience. His response to ZG was largely insulting and unprofessional.

but, it was NEVER meant to be discussed– here, so from that standpoint, I regret having posted it.

much love,

Laurel

Thank you Marie. even though I wasn’t at the retreat, your words helped me enormously. There are always so many things we don’t know about a situation. We try and respond. And then another bit of information throws us off. I hope you know how much I appreciate the way your posts have always challenged me to think differently and creatively about the corners into which we sometimes take ourselves.
with love,
Diane.

Marie, 

Your apology means the world to me. I spent most of yesterday completely distraught and heartbroken and crying….. For everything!!! The timing of this blow out  could not have been worse!!!! We were all floating back HOME (regretfully at that) on a cloud nine that none of us have experienced in a really, really, long time. All hell broke loose soon after and I just couldn’t believe what was happening. I know when you are not there, only your imagination can fabricate what you might think is going on. The blog post thing was Lexie’s and hers alone. It had absolutely NOTHING to do with the retreat, nor was it a subject we spent anymore than 5 minutes on and even then, it was in JoAnn’s presence and most ladies had no clue what they were even talking about. And then we moved on to other things and it was never brought up again!!! We had way bigger fish to fry than try to figure out what was going on with Lexie and the blog. That was her deal and I think she has stated her position on that and well, that is that. We didn’t even know the content till it was posted- so how could we have been sitting around gossiping or taking sides on it?? It had no significance to our wknd whatsoever because we didn’t even know what was going on! Lexie has a right to feel the way she does and I respect that. I definitely did not respect her post on the blog and I wish it was never written. Other than that, I am out of it. It was none of my business. It was definitely not something I wanted to be associated with after the comments started coming in. Ugh! Talk about a downer after the best weekend ever! Some things are just better left unsaid. You misunderstood our silence for all the reasons ZG listed and then some! I was at work and it was culture shock enough to be there as I think I got 10 hours sleep in 3 days! (no lie!) I didn’t want to waste our precious time sleeping! So I would stay up with any late nighters chatting till 4 or 5 a.m.! 
When I peeked in on SOS during a break, I was floored!! So many emotions!! I could barely do my job. I was a mess…. I didn’t want to even THINK about posting during the controversy and just make it worse- yet I
Had so much to say and defend and the thoughts were flying through my brain (or what was left of it after no sleep!) 

Anyway, I’m not rehashing this to make you or anyone feel bad, I just want you to have the details because it’s important to me that you understand we absolutely were not in cahoots with Lexie over that whole thing and I felt very wrongly judged. 🙁

We spent alot of time working on this retreat to make it everything we wanted it to be – and it was!! Coming home to this mess was the LAST thing I would have ever wanted. 

And most importantly, Marie, I was further traumatized because you of all people have always been one of my very favorites. I can’t say in words what your support and advice and praise has meant to me over this last year. No matter what, I always knew I could count on Marie and her expertise, wisdom, maturity, etc. I was really hoping that maybe you just were having a bad day, coupled with being so upset by Ella’s pain and I understand that. I wish none of this would have happened and I’m sorry you and all of us have been so hurt and traumatized. it doesn’t matter if we can’t fully agree on who is doing the hurt and traumatizing, it just matters at this point that it even happened and again, I wish it didnt. 
In my opinion, what Lexie did was very wrong and I do not agree with it. But, I still love Lexie and especially now know what a beautiful person she is and have an even better understanding of where her pain is coming from. I could get into some other things, but I really don’t feel like it and it’s not necessary anyway. I’m sorry for what you were feeling yesterday and for today if you are still upset. I hope I was able to at least help you understand that we collectively, we really ARE who we say we are and we really do love each other very much, including you Marie! Thank you so much for your apology. It means everything to me and my day will be much better because of it. 

I hope you reconsider your decision and stay but understand if you must move on. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you have done for me and meant to me. I will never forget you! 

Love, 

SL