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curl up on your patio and grab coffee. this one is just so juicy…
last night stxh says, “pam, while we are waiting for divorce filing, I think you should date. because I will be. “
I say. “it’s not your concern. I dont’ feel comfortable dating while under same roof. it doesn’t feel right to me. I will wait until I feel ready. “
he says. “just because your still married doesn’t mean you can’t date. i mean waiting for the divorce to finalize could 6-8 months, that’s so old fashioned and fuddy duddy. “
this was the man crying over his loss of time of daughter in the a.m.
Plus he says “I am not sure what I am going to tell people. about my problem. I don’t think an american woman would be comfortable. i mean what will I say, I love transxuals too? ” “who knows maybe a brazilian woman wouldn’t mind.”
yeah he actually said that. oh how he loves his T’s. LUUUUHHHHVVVS them.
whattaguy. so classy
Ok that moving to Brazil comment made me laugh out loud. We are all still legally married until a judge signs off on it. I’m not even shocked he told you to date bc he would be. He doesn’t value marriage vows like you did. Why break with tradition? He was cheating on you being married and he’s going out of the marriage to the end cheating. I would’ve laughed and told him he can do what he wants but me ending the marriage relieves you of any responsibility to give me any advice of any kind. Rememeber, never trust the advice from a man in trouble himself.
oh, I couldn’t make this up—this was for real.
LOL. I WISH he were moving to brazil. drop him off in the middle of the Amazon / Jungle. That would be nice. 🙂
he would probably like to travel there, have a long distance relat. or bring someone back — that is more “open” to his lifestyle. yuck.But oh, no worries on any advice taken seriously from that hot mess. I just think it is hilarious that he has “given me his blessing” to date.
what a shithead.
all that means is he wants you to tell him everything.
so he can use it against you. or interfere. or just mess with your head.
yes, he’s just a real toad.he really is Diane. but i am at the point that I am not interested in why he does what does or says. he is a nut.
i am pretty sure he wants to alleviate his own guilt. so I can be “cheater too”. then he won’t feel so bad.
I may or may not wait until divorce is finalized. but it will be my decision. and mine alone. I will not even discuss with such a lewd and disgusting human being.
he hasn’t two nickels to rub together anyhow. he can’t afford a date. talk about living in a fantasy world. no one in their right mind could ever want him. also, I think he will be looking for his next victim soon. he can’t use me anymore. aww well. I wish her luck.
I would expect my date to pay for me. at least I will have no out of pocket expenses. 🙂
the stupidity of them, is endless.
oh and p.s. — I mean the lack of respect for me and the marriage with his “dating advice”. it just shows his cavalier attitude about marriage vows all along. he was never ever ever committed. i was the only one “married” all along.
talk about a one sided relationship. ridic.
Wow…he sounds totally emotionally bankrupt. That had to hurt. You sound like you are taking it pretty well- you must have great self-control.
At least this kinda stuff just reinforces you are doing the right thing.
he is beyond sickening Pam. Try not to listen to ANYTHING he says because u cannot know what his motive is but you can be sure it is said to hurt and upset you…to minimize you? He is a piece of work..let him “date”…like as if waht he does could EVER be called dating. My guess is he is simply looking for the all clear to start f–king around. Try to limit your conversations to daughter, practicalities and money. Keep your eye on thr ball and expect him to attempt EVERYTHING to play with your head and mess with your mind. Don’t let him in, pam. You are leaving him because he is a worthless human being. Who cares what he values?? He doesn’t even have ANY values. God…he is beyond pathetic and abusive! Karen x
Oh yeah…NEXT time the Asshole brings it up..simply say…I suggest you marry a Trannie and walk away. karen x
OMG Pam. Do these comments help you keep walking? He is really sick and can’t wait to get back to his addiction. Very sad.
seriously. how does one even respond to THAT?
But it didn’t take any self control. It didn’t even bother me that much. I found it annoying and insulting. It was arrogant.
the only surprise / hurtful thing, is that this is who he has been all along. it disgusts me, more than hurts me. and yes, I am sure he wants to clear the air so he can go out and do whatever he likes. aww well.and my hunch was right. I know who his next victim’s will be. He wants to rent out back room to someone when I move out. (has sep entrance/ bathroom). He is going to leech off of roommates financially. until they wise up anyhow. won’t take them 10 yrs. guaranteed.
they really should. but they are more sinister than your run of the mill pervert. at least I think mine is.
grifter, petty crimes, shady, sleazy, user, abuser, narc, liar, manipulative, violent. those qualities are far worse than a guy who likes his trannies once in a while. i think i could handle a really nice guy, honest guy, who had a thing for trannies and really struggled with it. i wouldn;’t marry the guy (knowing). but i can have compassion for a person like that. but this guy? he is void of any valuable character. very very limited.
Pam,
Just a jackass!! Honestly, I think he brought that while stupid conversation up, just to strike a chord with you! Push your buttons, etc! I think it’s hilarious you barely responded!He is sooooo weird!! Try to never feel sad again!!! Only happy about your exciting new future!!! XO!!!
Pam,
He’s a real mess, he’s right up there with Joe. The profound gosh awful things he says. I think I would respond with a very bizarre statement like: ” I’ll pick up a bag of dates at the grocery store, thanks for the reminder”. Fuck with him and have some fun unless he gets violent of course.Love, Nap
Stupid bastard. I don’t think he EVER wanted to “recover”. He just wanted to bring you to your boiling point so that you would divorce him because he’s such a coward, that he couldn’t divorce you. And now that the divorce is in the works he’s chomping at the bit to get back to his old ways.
I’m so sorry, Pam. It is a real slap in the face and while I know you are standing tall, I also know that it does hurt deep inside. I really do feel for you. Although, I couldn’t be more proud and happy for you that you are moving in the right direction.
Maybe tell him that you’ve decided you ARE going to get on with your life before the divorce is final. Tell him that you moving out as soon as you find the place of your dreams. Don’t give him the any more of your life, he doesn’t deserve to see your beautiful face everyday.
Much love, Claire
Pam-C,
Just a suggestion, do not date until you are divorced, he may be trying to set it up so he could say that you too, have been unfaithful.
My x was fired from a job he worked at for 3 years. I had taken a job that 3 other people were in that position in the previous 2 years. There were systemic problems in this pod of 6 people. The supervisor’s husband brought in millions of $$$ of grant money. This supervisor was being moved to another position (3rd time), so I thought I would just work through the trial period and if things did not change I would transfer out of that department. Anyway this supervisor circumvented every tool / intervention to help new employees transition into this organization and let me go. (I have never been let go from a position before.)
In the divorce court, his lawyer painted this as me being a problem employee – can you believe this? He was fired, I was discharged when 3 other people could not tolerate the same work environment. No comparison, on top of that my attorney did not know how to counter that because I hadn’t discussed it with him because it had no relevance to the divorce.
Getting back to you – this is how things can be turned in court. Keep yourself clean (so to speak) so he cannot turn it or attempt to put a cloud over your reputation.
I simply do not trust a thing a SA says.
Jeannette- What the heck does you getting let go from a position have to do with anything in a divorce? These guys will grasp at anything to make us look bad so they can keep blaming us.
Even if you do keep yourself clean, they will twist anything and everything to make you look bad.
Document everything you do, make sure you have witnesses whenever possible, record or videotape everything. That’s what I’ve been advised. And assume that they are doing the same.
Oh Pam–I am so sorry you have to put up with such shit drivel! But glad it didnt get to you. NOBODY wants a relationship with a sneak and a liar!
LOL on the bumper sticker — LOVE that idea. “did you hug your tranny today?”
They will twist and try anything. but you know what? he said /she said can work in my direction also. all the court cares about in a no fault state is financials and custody agreement. proof proof proof. he has none. i hope he does video tape me. being the super mom that i am.
btw–my posts on here count. as a journal. if push comes to shove, i may be doing a lot of printing.
I have 2 more counseltations to go. seeing the “if i go to war what can i expect” attorney this week. he is one of the best. and of course PRICEY.
Hi Pam…I think this is one of those moments where you think to yourself…I am so glad we are getting a divorce and I did the right thing. You are right Pam. You are.
And i did not date either while still married. And it does not feel right. And secondly who would want to drag someone else through all the caious…on purpose. Not me. When i was divorcing the divorce was always on my mind.
You are doing the right thing Pam.
Love,
Flora
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