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Today we had a baby shower for a friend of mine who was in my class at school and who now works at the same counseling center with me. We’ve been friends since we met at our program’s orientation, though she is only in her mid-20’s, the age of my daughters. I went this week to buy baby clothes and enjoyed picking them out, playing around with my youngest, my 12-year-old who went shopping with me, arguing over the little outfits and hats, etc. This afternoon, I ate the chicken salad and fruit and watched as my friend opened her gifts and listened as she talked about touring the hospital’s women’s center and about how she hoped her dogs like the baby and how excited her in-laws are…and I was fine, I was fine, I was fine. Until I got back in my car to leave and had a total breakdown. Utter sadness. Utter brokenness. Out of nowhere.
Oh March, so much in one day. What a rollercoaster ride of emotions. At first it sounds so perfect. I am glad you had that time. I can only offer hugs and prayers for the brokeness after. You are so precious and obviously so devoted to family.
How awful that someone else’s joy can cause so much pain. I wonder when we will be able to celebrate others without being reminded of how much we have lost?
I’m so sorry, March. They really do come out of the blue, and sometimes there’s a time delay before they really hit us in the gut. I selfishly hope you write a poem about it, because I love reading your stuff. Sending you big hugs. xoxo
God, I so understand. I wish I didn`t. I am sorry, I would have been a basket case. I wouldn`t even have attempted to go…I give you an A+ for effort.
March – you are in my thoughts. You did the right thing which was to feel your feelings and to process them and not stuff them. We never know when they are going to hit.
Love you,
DidiHang in there March. That’s not who you are. It’s not.
Slow and steady wins this race. This was a passing pain, not a conclusion.
long hug for the luminous one,
D.xowhat a wave of sadness, and it slammed you! must have been such a surprise. i’m glad you were in your car, and had a chance to process your pain in private. hurrah for your bravery, and your kindness to your friend.
xoxo
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