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This is the first in a 6-part series of my bad therapy experiences.
She advertised that she treated pornography and sex addiction. We saw her in the first 2 weeks after D-day, in 2011 after I moved out. The point of seeing her was mainly to communicate in the presence of a third person, as everything had been very difficult after discovery and separating. He was a stranger to me.
She was a double talker — telling me one thing privately “he has an addiction”, then telling him the complete opposite and encouraging his behavior. Behind my back, she gave my SA a list of sex shops for him to visit. One’s that were more “women friendly” so I wouldn’t be so upset. I did not know about this at the time.
She kept saying to me I had to focus on moving into the future, not “dwelling” on the past — “what’s done is done”.
She told me he was a “pathological liar”, yet at the same time, she pushed me to believe he’s automatically telling the truth now because he’s started therapy.
In my private session, she asked me to make a list of my “ideal qualities” in a partner. I did, and gave it her assuming it was private. She then showed my list to my SA in our next session, without asking my permission first. Once he read mine, I immediately asked to read his — she wouldn’t let me.
In the joint sessions, she always sided with his views. I felt under attack. She told me in front of him: “men stray if you’re not confident”. She made me sound like a loser and freak in front of him for having normal insecurities. She said if she was standing next to a supermodel she would feel great and that it’s abnormal that I don’t. This ‘insecurity memo’ is then what my SA used in his campaign against me with his family and friends.
I had explained to her that since D-Day he hadn’t done anything to show remorse, not even a gift or flowers. She then twisted what I said — In our next joint session, she said to him I was unhappy that I hadn’t recieved “sexy lingerie”.
She said to him in front of me strippers were fine because other men have stag nights.
Left after 3 sessions.
My SA started saying to me for a while that he wasn’t going to answer any of my questions until he had “professional advice” from Angela.
My God, Victoria. It is a wonder you have any faith left in ANY therapist. I really hope Minwalla and his group will help you overcome the damage that a bad therapist can do. You knew enough to get yourself away from her and that says something about you? I believe you are going to get the support that you need in LA and all of this is going to get much better. Hugs, Karen
Thank you for telling us. I am beyond rage. You are an amazing human being. Thank you for not giving up.
Appalling in every way. I would report her to the regulatory board in your area. She’s incompetent and unprofessional and shouldn’t be out there harming others. I’d write her up on every website that rates therapists you can find. Seriously, the public needs to be protected from therapists like her, and sadly, she’s probably not that much of an outlier.
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