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Some of you may remember my SA and I had our depostitions 10 days ago. However, my attorney took the whole day to depose him, so now mine is tomorrow. I’m dreading it. I have nothing to hide. I just hate the thought of getting flustered or thrown off in front of Mr. Know it All Financial Planner, who has also been acting super creepy lately.
Please send a few prayers and positive thoughts my way for tomorrow morning..8:30 am.
love you all!! xoxoxoxoJulie,
Sending you positive thoughts and use the strength you have to be confident and not to be affected by some creepy loser guy.
Love, NapxoxoYou will do fine Julie. Just answer the questions simply and don’t try to explain your answer. Then you’ll end up saying too much. That was my problem. I get flustered and then I tend to chatter. Think as calmly as you can, answer slowly, and only answer what they asked. Don’t try to embellish the answer. It is going to be ok. Really. As they say “just the facts ma’am”. 🙂
Hugs
MoniqueMonique, you hit it right on the head…my tendency to chatter. So that is what I need to keep front and foremost. They say “don’t try to explain your side.” It’s not about that. Must remember!
Thank you and sending the same to you! xoxoZG, you are always in my prayers, but I’ll beef them up tonight! Is he being super nice or something? That’s what mine did when he realized that I could easily contact the probation officer and affect his probation report that will be used in his sentencing. They are never super nice unless it benefits them.
Take us all with you tomorrow. We’ll keep you on your toes! Feeling for you . . . Claire
Hey Jules, you’ll be more than fine. Remember, ‘right makes might’. Motherfucker’s going down. 🙂 Sending you ninja strength, my sistah! Love, Liza
“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it–always.”
― Mahatma GandhiI will sy a BIG parayer for you tonight and tomorrow Julie. Just breathe and count slowly to at least 5 before speaking….That helps me to stop the chatter and understand the question. Tell the truth and let it go. You will do fine even though it is a horrible experience and any man that was a man at all would not put the mother of his children thru such shit.
Remember, you have done nothing wrong. What can they possibly ask you that you could not answer truthfully? Nothing!
Thank you, Bev!
And Claire, he’s not being any extra anything…we don’t speak. Well, he speaks if he wants to confront or badger me about something. Good thing he’s keeping his distance right now.It’s awkward living that way, isn’t it? Today was one of those non speaking days for us. We rarely have eye contact. He tries to talk to me, tries to get me to look at him but when he talks, I just answer with one word or a short few. He makes jokes and tries to get me to look at him and laugh and I won’t. His jokes aren’t funny at all. He’s kind of nerdy. I feel myself getting more and more distant from him every day.
I’m rooting for you Julie! All good advice from the girls. Remember…you are NOT the one fucking hookers and recording it. Keep that video in your mind. That is the real truth of your marital breakdown. And let us know how it goes??
Hugs karen
I will definitely let you know! It sucks that in NY the courts/lawyers don’t care. They care about showing that I am capable of earning more money than I am now, but not what brought me to my knees and made it hard to run back into the work force with focus and energy at the timing of my husband’s choosing. Ah well; at least if I can keep his actions front and center in my mind, it will help me fight harder and not feel intimidated by it all. Love you! xoxoxo
We love you too Julie and we understand the complete lack of justice in all of this. Just the same…we must all attempt to fight the good fight whatever way we can. If you can get through this, your freedom and a life free of his mistreatment waits for you. It will be a better life so when you go in there, you remember that.
Be Strong A Little Longer, Karen xMy prayers are with you this morning, Julie. We’re all with you today. One trick for me is to clasp my hands together or hld tight to a cup or glass. It grounds me. You’re almost there!!
love, DeboraI hope it went well. I am just catching up after being away. I hope you are feeling a sense of peace tonight Julie.
Hey there everyone,
I survived! Woo hoo! It was about 3 hours. I still can’t figure out how that much time was filled. Most of the questions were financially based: they are trying to establish that I can and should be making a lot more money than I do now, in order to reduce the amount of spousal maintenance. The questions did not take a personal turn about my own personal life, for which I was grateful. I would have been honest and I’m fine with it, but just glad I didn’t have to go down that road for now.
Really the biggest stress for me was the number of questions that I didn’t know/remember answers to: such as where and when did I take continuing ed classes in 1989. (Really?). Hey I could have answered anything if I had an open book test and could look up the answers lol. So it felt awkward to say “i don’t remember” a thousand times, but that’s the way it is.
I still am puzzled by a line of questioning where his attorney asked what meds I was on. I gave my list, including my anti depressant/anti anxiety med. Then she asked if anything had occurred to cause me to go on them. At which time I thought, is she really asking this, and responded regarding his actions. Does anyone here know why she would ask that??
She also asked if we went to counseling. I said we went to one joint session, then the therapist saw us each once separately and referred him to a different counselor to help him deal with his issues, while i stayed with the current counselor for support. So um….get it..this was not a COUPLES problem.
She also spent a few minutes inquiring what types of books I was reading, which I thought was interesting, especially since it came toward the end of the deposition, rather than being an “ice breaker” question.
Now I left with a list of things I have to gather for her. More financial documents, copies of my degrees, etc. If there’s any further questioning, another deposition could happen. Ugh…hoping not.
And Debora, I wore a wondeful long woven scarf that the new man in my life gave me as a gift. I held tight onto that the whole time. 🙂xoxo Julie
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