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I think we have all read Flora’s latest post about her divorce and the heartbreak and fear she is feeling right now. As we know, Flora is a self made, hard working, a wonderful mother, sister, and friend. We all love her and she’s very humble and I care so much about her plight I want to help her. We are smart woman with lots of knowledge, friends, resources, so maybe we can pull that all together and do some brainstorming and give a really special human being our love and support.
Please share any ideas or thoughts to help Flora. Please keep in mind her financial resources are very limited.
Thank you Sisters!
I have two suggestions.
First, you need to tell your attorney to request credit card statements to show what all those purchases were for. This can be used to argue that they were not for household purposes.
Don’t let anyone tell you that these records cannot be obtained. They can.
Second, I know you don’t want to hear this, but you may need to get another attorney. A bad one will lose everything, and most are bad. They do the least they can and collect the money. An aggressive attorney (usually a viper woman) will make sure that you are not bamboozled.
Most of what the other side says is merely threats to get you to sign. They can threaten anything they want, it’s not official until YOU sign!
YOU need to start threatening. YOU need to start asking for records, receipts, bank statements, cell phone bills for two years, gas receipts, laundry receipts–get creative. Anything you can think of to hassle him. If your attorney asks for it nothing can go forward until he produces it.
Advice from twice divorced JoAnn (with a little insight into my ex’s divorce from his first wife and Larry’s divorce from his first wife).
Great suggestions, JoAnn and great idea Nap!! I should have thought of the statement and receipt suggestion because I did the same thing myself! We are going for an overall higher percentage split first, through mediation BECAUSE of all of his debt and if they dont agree to THAT, then we will force him to produce every last detail and nit pick it to death.
Also, if nothing else, between us sisters who may have a few extra bucks, we could at least pitch in for the new attorney and I am willing to do that.
Now that I have DRUG myself out of bed, FINALLY, I will put on my thinking cap (Thank you Sister Rosa from 5th grade) and cover up my bed head, lol, and try to come up with some creative ideas!!
I don’t know much about this at all, except to say that unless you insist that your lawyer WORK for you, they will do exactly what JoAnn suggests. Another name for a lawyer is “advocate”. So get one that is willing to be your advocate. That’s the job. If they can’t or won’t do it, they aren’t the lawyer for you.
Also….am assuming the “blackmail” approach will not work with him?? Do you have heavy dirt that he would NOT want other people to know??? Not the most legal technique, but depending on the guy and his work, social circle,NEW GF…can be effective in stopping unreasonable demands? Karen xx
Hi Flora,
Hope you are doing okay today and know we are thinking of you. You could tell your lawyer you want to stick with what the specials masters came up with. That’s it. You have no morE money period. You will sign papers TODAY if he can negotiate that and then no one will have to pay any more fees and costs. This is what needs to happen and you expect to hear back with the good news in 24 hrs. Be firm ( not angry ) you want him to advocate what the special masters concluded. Thank you very much and look forward to hearing from you!Another Brainstorm option: Okay to end this thing, if another $10,000 has to be paid, then I would only be able to make it in $ 100.00 payments per month and it needs to be accepted and written in the divorce decree. However, I myself would adhere to what the special masters came up with and stick with that as my angle.
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