- This topic has 21 replies, 17 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 1 month ago by
.
-
Posts
-
I work for a real estate company and I got a raise. I have a great relationship with a lot of the realtors so even though I have bad credit I was able to rent a cute house yesterday. I move in 1/15. I haven’t told my husband or my kids yet. My kids will be happy I think because the neighborhood has a lot of their friends. Same school district and everything. It’s going to be tight but doable. I have the papers ready for divorce. I opened my own bank account. I’m walking away from my house. My husband can get roommates or let it go to foreclosure. I don’t care. I have to do what is best for me. It will be easier to afford the rental. Less upkeep and everything. Plus I think if I kicked him out I might be too tempted to let him back in. Fresh start I need. When do I tell him? I’m doing this to save my life. I have no savings but I gotta get out of here. People are giving me furniture dishes curtains bedding. I’m so lucky. There are some logistics I need to work out. Both cars are mine. Do I keep paying both insurances? Life insurance too? I’m a smart girl but some stuff seems overwhelming. New cable, electricity, heat. Do I just ask anyone and everyone for help? Not paying but helping to get all this ready. I’m scared but excited.
Oh my gosh Stephanie, I almost dropped my laptop! I am so happy and excited for you!!! WOO HOO!!! This is the best news so far in 2013!! My advice, don’t tell him until after you’ve moved in. You and the kids should just go and get settled in. When you’re out of the house, leave him a note (the divorce papers??) and your keys. If he has your cell # I don’t know if you even need to give him the address. Keep the life insurance going until you have court orders in place. If you are leaving him one of the cars, I would see about transferring the title to his name and responsibility for the insurance too. As long as it is titled in your name, I think you should keep the insurance up to date. That way if he deliberately wreaks it, you will not be on the hook as the title owner. At least here in Ohio, it is illegal to not have insurance on your vehicle. Titling the vehicles can be part of the divorce settlement too if you don’t want to mess with that now or think he will cause problems. And yes, absolutely ask anyone and everyone for help! I’m sure all your family and friends will be thrilled and will be everything they can to help you out. I am so excited for you and so proud of you for making such a bold, brave move. 2013 is going to be your year Stephanie!! You get the Heroine of the Day Award!!
Stephanie, I am so proud of you. Absolutely do not tell him until you are out- just like Daisy said. Leave him a note. You do not want to be there, and I don’t even think I would give him the address until he has had time to cool down.
Get all the help you need and don’t be ashamed to ask.
Make sure you talk to your attorney about visitation and how to protect yourself there if he wants to see the kids.
Stephanie, that is such a huge step. Does your therapist know? I bet she will so proud of you, too. You are amazing!
OMG!!!! I almost dropped my laptop too!!!
I am so happy for you I feel like I have won the lottery. Don’t worry about the insurance, the cable, the electric….stupid people manage that every day!! Ask for help, you can do it.
Oh Stephany, you done made Liza cry! In a good way! This is going to be your year, I just know it! Love, Liza
P.S. Now more than ever do I believe this:
“Be bold and mighty forces will come to your aid.” ~ Goethe
Congratulations! I am thrilled for you! Way to step into 2013 and make it your own! It is exciting isn’t it? To make your life about your happiness and healing! You go girl!
Stephanie,
When you posted that you had not taken the new job I was afraid you were going to back pedal so I almost dropped my laptop as well. I am beaming ear to ear. You are ABSOLUTELY doing the right thing as your husband is an abuser of the highest order. He only wants to use, hurt and control you and he has no interest in the well being of yourself or your children.Therefore, there is NO possible way this can be anything but the right choice for you. I see now that working closer to home will make it easier for you to manage with your
children. Tell him nothing and secure yourself in every legal way you can before hand. Expect him to bring out all the big guns…either threats OR a torrent of sudden remorse and affection. Believe NOTHING that he says. You KNOW who he is…no matter what grand gestures he makes. This is your chance to have the life you deserve Stephanie. Do not be afraid. I am sending all my positive energy your way and the angels to keep you safe and strong. We are so proud of you…you brave, brave girl. Cheering for you…. Karen xxGood for you Stephanie!!! You’re making really good choices and accept all the help people offer you. A great way to start the new year with a fresh start!
Stephanie – wow!! You are amazing!! That’s wonderful news…..be prepared for a firestorm – but don’t get sucked into it. You might also think about going to a battered women’s group. You will get a lot of support and tips for dealing with the fallout from them.
Yahoo!!!!
Deb
Stephanie, you are Super Woman! I’m ecstatic to hear this. I say sell the second car, pocket the money yourself. Let him ride the bus.
Look out world, here comes Stephanie,
Bravo sister. You deserve to get away from his dark cloud.
Yes, lots of administrative things—ask for help from poeple who won’t be more work to manage.
Once you get out of range, your whole being will exhale.
Heroine of the Day—yours
Diane.xoxoI can’t wait to exhale. I’ve been fighting tears all day because I know this is it. Peace is around the corner. I’m going to go to battered women’s group. The counselors will help me work out more logistics and help with the inevitable firestorm. I know I would hope my husband will be reasonable but we all know that probably ain’t gonna be the case. Thank you all for your kind words. I’m going to be a fighter. I’m going to fight for my kids and myself. I am going to succeed. I want to be a success story.
Stephanie – you are my hero! What an amazing and powerful thing you are doing. Let us know if you need anything – we’re here for you!
Stephanie ~ I am smiling from ear to ear ~ so happy for you, that you are getting away from that abuser.
You are amazing!
Dancing a victory dance for you, Stephanie! That is fantastic news! Lots of good advice from everyone.
Hi Stephanie
I read your post with much interest because my SAH and I are separated too. Fortunately for me I am still the house with my kids. He has moved next door, a separate section with his mum. He received the divorce summons and remained in the house after that. The children and I went through a living hell. I created a crisis in many instances and this led to an interim protection order with him moving out of the house. It was a setup though. He came to court and asked me to drop the case as he had now moved out. So yeah your decision is a brave one. As you expect, the storm will rage but I believe one cannot prepare yourself enough for that. You just need to ride the storm and believe that you will not drown. What I do know is that it will work out for all of us in the end. Healing will come.
- The forum ‘Personal Growth’ is closed to new topics and replies.