- This topic has 13 replies, 11 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 1 month ago by
.
-
Posts
-
Hi all,
I’m sorry for this but I just have to vent or go crazy. The wingnut came today to pick up the kids and drive them to his mom’s house until the 28th. This is the first time in the children’s lives that I will not be with them and put them to bed on Christmas. It’s all so unfair. My son (5) was sobbing as they left. “Mommy I want Mommy, Please come Mommy I don’t want to leave”. And my daughter (6) was trying to make him feel better. And I hate that too. Our whole marriage he was absent. He has never bought, assembled or wrapped a gift, ever. He has slept through the holidays. He has “worked” and “volunteered” through every holiday. And now that I chose to leave he has rights. He has rights. So he got them today at 1 and took my sobbing child away from Mommy on Christmas. And left a 6 year old (who usually cries when he comes) in the position of comforting her little brother. And I am so so so sad. And I broke down. And I don’t in front of them but I couldn’t help it. The tears started streaming down my face. I just couldn’t help it. And I’m sorry for that. I kept saying the words, you’re going to have fun at grandmom’s and Mommy will see you in a few days, but the tears just kept coming. He never wanted them before. And now it’s like he’s won some sort of prize for all his bad behavior. He doesn’t deserve them. And they deserve better.Oh my heart aches for you. Having lived that personal hell I know how bad that hurts. Just know they grow up, be the best mamma you can be. Be their rock, their confidante, and they will never forget that. I have 5 children 4 with asshole. And I have never felt so alone I my own house at Christmas. We will get through today Hon! Sending peace your way.
Hugs
MoniqueStrongereachday,
Your post broke my heart. It’s very sad innocent children are affected by their ‘secret life’. I’m sorry and I hope they will be back with you soon. It’s not fair.
Love, NapI’m sorry too. I don’t know a thing to say to make it better. I hope his mother is a decent person is about all I can come up with…
These guys fuck up everything and their kids suffer. It’s not even remotely fair.
The kids will be fine. My son cried when I left him at school until he was 6. He still doesn’t like it when Mommy isn’t around 🙂
As long as you know they are safe then you can make it. The whole thing makes my stomach hurt. I’ll be thinking of you. Hang in there.
Oh my God that is awful. I am so sorry. There are just no words for the pain they will knowingly inflict on their own children. Stay strong, Stronger. Your kids will be fine and your tears didn’t hurt them a bit. It’s okay for them to know you will miss them too.
Big Hugs to You!!
Daisy“Deserve’s got nothin to do with it.” Boy, those words are never more true than for parenting with an SA. It’s simply beyond unfair.
I pray your little ones find comfort and joy while away for this time, and for your peace of mind until they return to you. I’m so, so sorry!
Thank you all for the kind words. I am bumping around the house in a kind of daze. It always makes me think of Teri and Dr E. What is wrong with these guys that they take children who clearly don’t want to be with them? He never even called them the entire week of Thanksgiving. (for which I am grateful but still?) I’m told that he only takes them because of the power over me that it holds, and that he likes a fight and I’m fighting him on this.
Bev, his mom is the queen mother of enabling. Her other two sons (who live there) take and deal drugs. I refer to it as the Monster factory. I think they are safer there than alone with him? It’s a piss poor silver lining. Safety in numbers? of crazy people? Bev I often wish I had stayed for the kid’s sake. These days I feel like I jumped into the lifeboat and left them behind. I thought they would be right there with me.Okay, your kids are going to be fine. It sucks and it’s not fair but it beats the hell out of living with the piece of shit. He will get bored with it. He will not remain interested in playing daddy.
You did the right thing. If I had known this shit 10 years ago then I would’ve been out so fast it would make your head spin.
Keep fighting him. Your kids will appreciate it later. They will get older. I can’t believe a judge thinks its okay to let kids go to a crack house…. I do not understand why family courts can’t actually do what is best for children. It baffles me..
Now, you stop bumping around the house. Get out to a movie or call a friend or go for a walk or something!! Take it one hour at a time and it will be over soon. We will all keep you close in thoughts and special prayers for your babies.
Oh Bev, let my screw ups be a learning lesson for all. I had a bad lawyer. I now have a bulldog. My last lawyer told me that we had to pick our battles. That if we didn’t give him somewhere to take the kids it would look like we are “keeping the kids from their father”. My new lawyer upon hearing this, told me to be prepared to be chastised by the judge for not making this known because we are going to fight all the battles on our next day in court.
I’m going to take your advice and put in a movie for some background noise.I can’t imagine how it feels to have your little ones taken away from you by that skanky dick on Christmas. It really is deplorable. Keep fighting for them. I feel so bad about it all. The worst part is there is nothing you can do about it. I guess you really have to get out and do something. Sometimes just staying home can be deadly. I will keep you in my prayers.
Geeezze , I hate what these men do… WTF is wrong with them. Stay strong and do what you can to stay sane while they are gone. I know its hard my heart goes out to you and your kids.
I hope you’re feeling better today strongereachday. I could feel your pain as I read your post. My heart went out to you. The upside is their return home. They will be SO happy to see you and vice versa. You’re right, they get rewarded for bad behavior.
It’s completely unfair.
Day one down, hope it ended better than it began. I hate him and his “rights”. These dicks are so adamant about their “rights” but a wife has “rights’, too. To a husband who doesn’t cheat. They are all about what is theirs and don’t give a damn about what it costs everyone else. So many of them use the children and visitation to beat our hearts into pulp, but that WILL backfire in the long run. Not many of them have stamina to keep that up, either. They get “distracted” and turn to lifestyles that make children too much of an inconvenience.
Turn the weekend alone into time to do things for yourself you can’t when the children are around. Do something special in their rooms. Go for a mini-vacation on your own. For a single mom, focus time is a valuable asset. Use it in a way that you are strengthened, not worn thin with sorrow, when the children return. My guess is, he’s going to play superdad but underneath he’ll be wiped out by having the children. Greet him glowing and refreshed when he returns. He’ll be pissed as hell about that. It will give him a second thought when he considered ‘punishing” you by taking them the next holiday.
OMG. Makes me feel like throwing up. But on a more positive note….my own situation is not so dire. I am so grateful that whatever battles I fought with my H, they did NOT involve a direct attack on my kids. I would be up for homicide and that fucker would be dead. They are only babies for God’s sake. I REALLY hate these guys.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.