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Claire I’m so sorry you have had to listen to his nonsense. If he dropped off the edge of the world I’d be really happy. I’m sorry to say that because you are the sweetest person and I’m sure some part of you loves and cares for him. I’m thinking of you and praying for you. Xox
Claire, so sorry for what you are going through. He is a very sick man. Don’t listen to a word he says. I wish I knew what else to tell you. Maybe his going to trial would have been a good thing because at least he would go to jail and be out of your hair. I can’t imagine things would get any better if he were still at home but wearing an ankle bracelet.
A contractor’s license? That means he could go work in unsuspecting people’s homes? Won’t he need to stay away from children? How would that work?
Hang tough, Claire. I can’t imagine what you are going through right now. I hope he leaves you alone today.
Claire, he looks at pics of naked children and has the nerve to tell you that “you have some real problems that need to be addressed.” He’s abusive and he’s getting worse. Do you have a plan for what you will do if/when he continues to say this stuff? I get the feeling he wants you to engage and that’s his goal , and yet you really can’t go no contact, either. Any suggestions, ladies? So that Claire doesn’t have to sit there and take this, but doesn’t engage either? Since physically leaving isn’t an option for her right now?
Dear Claire, I am so, so sorry for what you are going through. I never seem to have any words of wisdom to share with the sisters, but please know that you are in my heart and my prayers sister. With love, Jane
Jane. I feel the same way often because my life is in shambles. Like I say I feel like I am the village idiot. On the other hand, it is easier to help other people brainstorm when you are removed from the situation. I think your presence is enough to help anyone feel heard.
Great start Courtney. Perhaps Claire can rent a room at a hotel with weekly options close to her animals? There is some acreage for sale near me 20K range. I am not sure how many acres Claire needs or if she can afford it without 1st selling her house.
Claire, is the property titled in both your names? I assume it is. In that case, both of you have to sign a listing contract to put the property up for sale so do not sign it. I know money is tight since you want to make sure you can take care of your animals AND pay for the divorce, but spend the money to go see your attorney. See what can be done to a) get him out of the house and into his own place before sentencing; b) have a separation agreement in place that gives you money to live on (his pension) and c) make part of the separation agreement that he quit claim deed his interest in the property to you. That way the decision when/if to sell is in YOUR hands. Even if it does become necessary down the road, you will have time to take care of your animals and make sure they’re safe and well cared for.
I am just sick and angry at his shenanigans. I wish with all my heart that you weren’t all the way across the country. I would dearly love to come and sit with you and your animals and just be there for you. I guess it will have to be enough for now to know I am thinking about you and reaching across the cyber distance to wrap you in a big hug.
I love you dear Sister. You deserve so much better.
Claire I cant wait for you to be rid of him. Don’t even try and feel bad about him blaming you. Sending you lots of hugs xx
Dear Claire, I’m late posting but I’m on your side! No matter what.
He’s a real bottom feeder in the swamp population. Don’t expect him to develop character or values now. Do what is best for you, please!
I’m really sorry this is your reality, but it won’t be forever. See the lawyer and look after yourself and the animals.
Love diane.Claire, no matter what, we won’t let you lose any of your animals. There’s a lot of us here, and we can all put our heads together and brainstorm if it ever looks like it’s going to come to that. Take care of yourself, sweet Claire. We’re all with you. xoxo
After all the fireworks yesterday, today was a better, albeit weird, day. He’s been whining and playing big baby today. He seems to have hurt his back (I don’t believe it at all). He’s walking around looking stiff and laying in bed all day and all evening (which is the worst thing you can do if your back hurts). So, he’s not been in my presence much today. But silence almost is worse, wondering what he’s conjuring up in his little piss ant brain. We have not discussed anything today of importance.
To throw a curve into things, we were recently got approved for a refinance of the house that will lower our payments by $250 a month. Now, we don’t know if we want to sign the papers and go forward with that or not. I’m trying to get him to sign them and keep the house for another year. But, because it’s what I want, naturally he doesn’t want it. I don’t think I’m going to win any decisions in his current state of mind. I think I best wait for the shock to wear off in his head that he’s a registered sex offender for life. Maybe in a few days, things will be different. Meanwhile, we only have until Tuesday to sign the refi papers. Geez. What a fucking mess.
I’m doing okay. Didn’t cry at all today. I think I know now that its all over. Completely over. Yesterday was the shock of it all.
I’m in the process of composing a letter to my Mom, sister, brothers, and my son to tell them what’s going on. My Mom and my son both know that he was arrested, they are waiting to hear the results of the case. The others don’t even know that I had a D-day in Aug. 2010. This is the time I knew was coming, but I’ve been regretting for a long time.
How are you doing Claire? I know the letter was hard but it needed to be done. I hope fucktard signs the refinance papers. It would at least give you some time. I am thinking of you and saying prayers.
He’s staying in the master bedroom, morning, noon, and night. Only coming out to get something to eat or an ice pack for his back and then goes back in. He’s keeping the blinds closed and the room dark. He looks like shit. Don’t think he’s showered in 2 days. We are not speaking to each other. He’s not doing any of the household chores. I’m doing all the morning and night feedings of the animals.
He has court in the morning where he will accept the plea deal. I have physical therapy in the morning so I’ll be in pain when I get home, which is just as well, I’ll be in pain one way or the other! Tuesday I have a doctor appointment in the morning and then I’ll probably talk to my attorney about what to do next. Honestly, the way it looks, he’s not going to leave this house very easily. I’ve got to figure out what to do
Sounds to me like the big baby is having himself a major pout. I’m glad you’re just ignoring him Claire. He’s not worth your time or effort. Focus on you and those animals. Much, much love to you.
Thanks Daisy. It’s so hard to know what to do.
I spoke to my son when I went up to feed the donkeys, I talked to him from the donkey pen! The donkeys were looking at me like “why is she hanging around our pen? she usually just feeds us and goes to feed the others”! But it was the only place, far enough away from the house that I felt he couldn’t hear me. I can see the house from up there so I would have known if he was coming. He’s being very quiet and sneaky, if it weren’t for his cracking ankles, I’d never hear him come down the hallway. I can tell when he’s in the bedroom because there are constant farts and belches coming from in there. If he ever leaves this house I will fumigate that room for sure 🙂
Oh God, Claire, you crack me up! And I’m laughing WITH you AT him. 🙂 You WILL make it through this girl. Lots of Love, Liza
God help me, Liza. My therapist says she loves the fact that I’ve kept my sense of humor. I told her I will never have another Willy in my life, except for my dog, of course, whose name is Willy.!
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