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- This topic has 5 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 9 months ago by
teri.
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April 26, 2012 at 11:54 am #4705
debinca
ParticipantYikes! My sah wanted to go to marriage therapy once a month to talk about how to connect. I told him and the therapist that likely wasnt a good use of time or money given that he was in pre-treatment but went along two nights ago. The therapist started the session with a “check in” and i talked about my pia mellody woekshop on childhood trauma and how it has helped me from depending so much on my sah…and he scowled the whole time. He raged at the therapist and said..thats not what i want to talk about!!! I only want to talk about the future! The therapist challenged him and said…why dont you want to know what deb is doing in her recovery?? And her safety is important for your future. Sah got very uncomfortable…very strange! At the end i mentioned tyat my therapist suggested that i ask for a joint meeting with his therapist to get an update on his progress…and my husband went ballistic.
On the positive side…he is flying home early today from a biz trio to go to a slaa meeting he likes..and i dont really care! Im very detached and realize after his raging in the therapist office that he isnt in recovery yet. Im on the way to the airport for a incentive trio to the bahamas for the weekend…and thinking about bonnie and her move.
Deb
April 26, 2012 at 2:36 pm #35153cindy1111
ParticipantHi Deb,
Wait, are you going to the bahamas? SSSOOOOOO NICE!!!!!!!!
I want a beach
I want a beach
I want a beach…..Oh, sorry I got carried away again.
Reading about your visit with the therapist just made me cringe. I feel like I had similar experiences. Interesting that he got so uncomfortable when the focus is on something that he wants to glaze over. I know that you are struggling, but I just want to say that I admire your strength. You have seemed to detach yourself from letting your emotions draw you into a spiral. That is something that I struggle with. Does the therapist agree that his raging indicates a lack of being in recovery? You are confidant in your knowledge about Sa and I feel like this will help you to get through to others who are less educated. When I would bring up the fact that I thought my husband was not in recovery during our sessions, it often seemed to go unheard. So frustrating and it still bothers me to this day that it was not properly addressed.
Stay strong Deb. You are doing so well. I am proud of you and I hope that you have a great time in the Bahamas.
April 26, 2012 at 2:55 pm #35154972
MemberHave a great trip!! Forget all this BS for a few days!!
April 26, 2012 at 4:45 pm #35155silver-lining
ParticipantGod love ya, Deb you are ALWAYS so optimistic. You said, “I realized he wasn’t in recovery [yet].”
I can’t wait until the day when you wake up and realize that yet=never. And then you fly the coop.
I can’t wait to see you soar!!! XO!!
April 26, 2012 at 5:29 pm #35156kmf
MemberI must say you took the words RIGHT out fo my mouth SL 😉 yet=never Too true.
April 26, 2012 at 9:25 pm #35157teri
ParticipantDeb,
Spoil yourself rotten on your trip. Live in the moment and forget the BS back home.Love what you said, SL.
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