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I cannot stress enough that each and every one of you, no matter what your situation, should always save evidence of what your SA is doing.
You might not think you will need it, and you might not, but if you do and you have not saved it, you can never go back. Once they delete their e-mails or profiles on dating sites you can never get that evidence again.
e-mails can be forwarded to your own e-mail account, but that will show up on his account. You could print them out, but that takes up a lot of paper–we need to save trees.
So, the easiest thing to do is to take a picture, or a screen shot of the web page.
I am not a mac person, so this information is for Windows machines only. If you have a mac this site will help you:
http://techtips.salon.com/screen-shot-macbook-1661.html
Most machines have an automatic screen shot capture feature. It is usually the ‘f12’ key at the top of your keyboard, or the ‘prt sc’ key up there.
These will work, but there are much better ways that allow you to take a screen shot of either the entire page or just a portion of it and then add notes to the shot, circles, arrows, etc, and then save it to a folder.
Each browser has different applications to do this. I use Chrome as my browser and the add on that I like is called Awesome Screenshot and it is free from Chrome.
You can get it here and it will be automatically installed if you are in Chrome.
littlehttps://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/alelhddbbhepgpmgidjdcjakblofbmce
It will add an icon at the top of your page, which you click when you are on a page you want to copy.
When you click it the copied page will come up and you can highlight, add text or circle or add an arrow to whatever you want. When you are done, click ‘done’ and you will be prompted to save it to a folder.
Internet explorer, Firefox and Safari all have add ons like this. Just search for ‘add ons’ and when you find that page search for ‘screen capture’ or ‘screen shot’ add ons.
This will save you a lot of paper and copying and pasting. You can store it in a hidden file on your computer or on a zip drive and hide it somewhere.
If you have any questions just ask. 🙂
~ JoAnn
JoAnn,
You are right about knowing how to do a screen shot being invaluable. Screen shots are what I used on my Dday (on a Mac). It was all I could think of in my shock. It was also very quick- just open file and press a couple keys at the same time. I also used screen shots a lot for my information gathering on witnesses.Honestly, save everything you find. I don’t care if it’s a photo, a valentine, a pair of underwear, a receipt, a record of an STD lab, or what (I had all that- except he found the underwear and disposed of it). I don’t care if you have to keep it 20 years. Even if it is just a memory with no hard evidence- write it down with a date. I have stuff I kept for 11 years. Seriously. I thought about throwing it out a number of times when I thought he was getting better and in recovery. Now I am so glad that I didn’t.
You never know when you might need it, and you need to be ready to protect yourself.
Is that what you call the little apple key? Command? Who knew? They should just call it “apple”. Apple-shift-3
And what is that little loopy, 4 leaf clover symbol on the same key?
I have a Mac, and my current command key has the loop symbol (I think it replaced the apple.) If you use command/shift/4, you’ll get a little crop tool to screen cap a smaller portion of the screen if you so choose.
Like Teri, I save EVERYTHING. In as many places as possible.
That’s a good point, Janet. I scan documents and I take photos of other evidence then I send an email to myself on my google account (and to my attorney now). And I have multiple back up hard drives locked up in various places. (I don’t email the sex stuff or keep that on my computer, though)
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