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Dear Sisters,
I am determined to move on and use this experience in a positive way for others and myself. This is the primary purpose for reaching out to you.
There is a creative funding platform and through it a colleague raised almost $18,000 for her small business. I am brainstorming to create a project relating to sexual addiction. My preliminary idea is the following:
• A photography and art publication that is both digital and print on demand about sexual addition.
• It is an artistic and visual publication that is representative of sexual addiction, the experience, and the consequences.
• It includes black and white and color photos. I am certain that most spouses or partners and families will not want to be photographed. I can possibly blur the images. I respect and honor how private this experience is to us all. Perhaps, I can photograph and or create artwork based on the consequences or our realities, such as Facebook pages of SAs. You should see Steven’s right now: LIVE SEX CAM click here!
• It will include artwork that I created such as portraits of spouses and partners and/or abstract paintings of color, anything healing and beautiful that will facilitate healing my myself and others.
• In relation to my own healing and connecting with others who share my own experience, I most likely should not focus on the SAs.
• The book is very visual with limited content. It is not like a non-fiction book on sexual addiction.
• The book offers validation of the experience, shared experiences, hope, and healing. I want to create something real and beautiful.
• It could have an element of my own experience; possibly a memoir type feeling in the book. Maybe, through creating the book I am working on my own healing and helping others to heal. Possibly, I travel to other cities to meet and speak to many of you and your families. I truly do not want anyone else to go though what I and you and your families are experiencing.
I value and respect your opinions very much. I would love to hear your thoughts on my idea.
I think it is a wonderful idea. I do not have a creative/artistic bone in my body but I would be honored to have you “speak” for me thru art and photographs. I say go for it.
Bren,
I think that it is wonderful that you are using this horrible experience as inspiration.Will you show the ugly, angry, painful side of healing as well?
That’s some serious bullshit, Bev–your assessment of your artistic ability. I’ve read your Christmas verses.
Thank you. I appreciate your support. Yes. I want to show it all. Every single dimension of our feelings and destruction that we experience and feel. This experience has shattered my life. I hope for a better future, but I know my only ticket out is to embrace it and heal myself by not staying silent. The beauty that I refer to is not only hope and healing, but documenting the truth of our experience. This means the pain, disappointment, betrayal, destruction, and our loss of faith in love and trust. I want our voices to be heard.
That sounds wonderful, Bren.
I hate the self-help books that make it sounds oh-so easy to recover from this- especially for the relationship. I think something that shows the destruction and pain and the reality of the real hope being for ourselves would be really great.
Thank you for your feedback. I am finding the need to be creative and channel something versus reading the self-help books, at least right now. This changed my life. It is not a quick fix. The experience and consequences are now a part of my life’s journey for the rest of my life.
bren, are we soul sisters? your reaction to this feels so right to me. i love it that you will express your and our experiences through your art. diane said something like ‘when an artist gets involved it becomes a movement’
in fact, i’m about to go play through my SOS songs, jazz tunes i wrote for my beautiful sisters. we are going to perform them on jan 2. they too, portray the pain. some of them are angular and dissonant, in short, pretty pissed off.
i’ll share more about them in a separate post, don’t want to detract from yours.
but i love love love your ideas, can’t wait to see them. portraits of the pain on women’s faces might be nice. if people don’t want to be recognized, it could just be the eyes…
Some already know, but I’m a writer with two books of poetry, Karaoke Funeral and The World’s Last Bone. The second book was written pre-discovery but after my storybook marriage began its descent into horror. I’m working on a third manuscript, The Sex Addict’s Bride. I tell you all of this simply to add that I too intend to transcend this shit through art, just as I’ve transcended all the shit life has thrown at me–via poetry. Yes, let’s make it a movement. Let’s refuse to be silent or invisible, refuse to keep their secrets. I want it all out there. Building bridges.
Lisak,
Thank you for your feedback. We are most definitely soul sisters. I look forward to hearing more about your creative process and hearing your music. I love the idea of keeping the photos anonymous and private and photographing only the eyes or perhaps someone’s hands holding an item of discovery or holding the box of items discovered over the years. Or photographing a profile in shadow.
March,
I did not realize that you are a writer. I will most definitely check into your books. I am interested to know more about the Sex Addict’s Bride. I would love to include some of your poems in my book. I love what you say about transcending this shit through art. I want to create something of value out of the sesspool of madness that he left for me.
Bev, that would have been photography. What you did was performance art.
I defaced my wedding cake topper for Valentines. A friend told me to get rid of it because if anyone who didn’t know me saw it, they might think I was deranged. But it was a thing of beauty.
It was a performance alright 🙂
Me, the backyard firepit, my bic lighter, bag of charcoal, and my beer!
I just knew that no matter what ever happens that I could never look at that wedding album again.
Seriously though Bren, I do think you could capture a good photo using the burning of the wedding album…smoke spiraling…maybe a “bride” that is older but in her gown doing the burning??
It would be staged and maybe that isn’t what you are looking for but something that conveys the hopes and dreams burning in hell and going up n smoke?
That’s my attempt at artistic 🙂
Thanks, Bev. I like the idea of a wedding album going up in smoke. I wish that I had mine I would throw it in the fireplace. His mom has it. Hopefully, she will burn it because I never want to see it again. I keep visualizing photos with the faces or eyes hidden or concealed in some way.
I like the idea of showing photos of the real men: the executive presiding over the meeting, the minister delivering the sermon, the school teacher, the father coaching softball…with the captions such as: This man frequents prostitutes…This man runs Craigslist ads looking for guys to give him blowjobs…
I thought about including SAs as part of the book, but I decided to hold off on it. My thought was that it felt a little raw now, but maybe in the process I would need to go there. I need to figure out how to tie it in. What dark sides they have in secret and the fake act portrayed in public while trying to be so charming.
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