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I like the idea of juxtaposing the innocence of the children with the sickness of their fathers in some way.
Maybe the captions like March described. Kind of like when kids have their parents come in to talk their class about what they do (is there a name for that? I’m drawing a blank). “my dad’s a fireman… “”my dad’s an accountant… “”my dad has group sex with child molesters.” Or an open wallet with baby pics and condoms, a brief case with porn among the work papers and soccer schedules.
And how to show the risk they put us in? The risk of disease, dangerous people showing up on our door, financial ruin, public humiliation? The difficulties our kids will face as their sexual identity develops.
If I was doing a book like that for me, Bren, it would be graphic and gross, I think. The beauty I have found has been in the friends and family who have helped me through. But so much is just awful. I think I would have picture of a grocery store with all the shoppers looking like swingers and prostitutes and naked ads from the internet. And my house surrounded by those people all trying to break in while I cower inside and try to protect my kids. And every ad, and commercial with sex sex sex leaping off the page, out of the TV. Triggers everywhere- I would show those as gross genitals and breasts. It would be an awful book if I made it.
Teri, these are incredible ideas and they really get my creative juices flowing. Prior to the Miami trip, I just bought a Nikon camera and I am inspired to use it for this project. I love your ideas. After the trigger I experienced last night with the divorce summons stuck in my door, it makes me believe that this is the right direction. I want the photos to be compelling. Maybe, that it a better word than beautiful.
I like Minwalla’s idea of getting those SA’s to do before and after drawing of their partners (before and after the dday). Maybe you could take a whole lot of pics of beautiful or at least normal things, and then a whole slew of pics that are horrible and ugly, AND make an interactive element where women can choose their before and their after photo. So the art continues to grow and develop and women have a chance to express their experience. Your photos and the invitation is the catalyst.
Hope that wasn’t too much—I’m trained in rituals and symbol life. It just seemed to bubble up.I like that, Diane. I’m having “fun” thinking about all this this morning. And how about an after-after photo. I keep hearing that part of my healing is being able to envision my own future and how I will look/be. I can’t do that yet. But I think it would be awesome to have examples like SL and her new life and ring so show that life does go on. We do recover and heal. I think it would be tricky to show a “healed” relationship with the SA- does that really happen?
I was thinking about that Minwalla exercise. I think my STBX would draw me the same way in both instances- a Medusa monster with 9 heads, huge mouths with fangs, claws, ugly and horrible, keeping him on a leash (controlling) and ruining his life. I would love to see some of the pictures SA’s drew of their partners. Do they get to bring them home?
Bren, it sounds like a wonderful idea. The creativity and artistic ability of the sisters on here never fails to amaze me. Hell, I have trouble doing paint-by-number stuff. Your idea sounds like it would be a really cathartic way to work through healing. xoxo
“And every ad, and commercial with sex sex sex leaping off the page, out of the TV. “
teri, you might like cindy sherman’s work. when i was freaking out over the ads everywhere in my month in nyc the month after d day, i saw an exhibit at the moma of her work. it saved me, for me, her work took the power out of those images.
http://www.moma.org/interactives/exhibitions/2012/cindysherman/#/0/
These are incredible resources and ideas. Thank you so much. Cindy Sherman’s work … my God … unbelievable. I can do this. I can create something of value and significance for us. I know that I can.
I saw this collage by Tony Caramanico today. I think it would be great to create pieces like this as a mixed media piece with text written by me and letters from my sisters. What do you think?
http://www.toryburch.com/blog-post/blog-post,default,pg.html?bpid=72440
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