- This topic has 7 replies, 7 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 11 months ago by
.
-
Posts
-
So here I am 21 months since d-day. I still have a cry every now and then, and more if there are special days. How much crying is too much? Am I normal? I never cried like this about anything else. At the beginning I cried all night every night, everywhere I went in the car, and sometimes at home. So I’m certainly getting better, but how can it still “get” me, and how long will this go on?
So, sisters, what is your experience with the crying?Hi Diane,
I feel for you…our h’s have altered our entire lives…I cry everyday, just about, sometimes more than one time per day. It has been over 2 years since D-day…he had a 20 year cover-up and doesn’t believe in many recovery steps, so the difficulty is ongoing…old grief and new grief, almost daily, all mixed together. That is my experience, and it is not pretty, but it is real to me. I (we) may need grief counseling perhaps? I know it is difficult to heal old wounds when new ones are continually being made. I wish we could get together and cry. B. TrayedDiane, I am about 15 months since d day and 1 year since divorce. I, too, have never cried so much in my life. It has lessened a lot, but I found this site a couple of months ago because I was having another round of crying a lot. I haven’t felt that way for a couple of weeks. The sad times have gotten farther and farther apart, and they don’t last as long.
b-trayed, I went to a grief counselor and that was the best thing I could have done for myself. Ironically and sadly, he had an accident and died while i was still working with him. I would highly recommend that kind of help.
Hi Diane,
I cried a lot on D day and probably for a month after. Since then, I have not cried. I don’t know why….my guess would be because of PTSD. I think it will hit me later? I don’t know, it seems odd to me, however, my husband was so cruel to me in many ways, maybe I’m not sad. I did have some really bad loathing toward him surprise me on a day we had to be together for our daughter. Just have never felt such despise in my life, was very difficult to contain, very intense. My therapist said it was the beginning of years and years of suppressed anger. I would have to agree with her. I know crying is very healing…maybe you are doing a lot of healing…your friend, NapHi Ladies,
I had to take a long weekend to Michigan and I have missed you all.
Diane, as sad as I am to read your words about your tears, it helps me to realize that perhaps this is normal. I also have never cried so much. I consider myself to be a strong person, who is sensitive, but not one who cries easily. Yet, here I am two years from d-day and find that I can often get these waves of sadness that can hit me several times a day. I think that some people are shocked that I am still so sensitive about my situation and this often makes me feel ashamed that I am not moving on. I do think that we are experiencing a loss that we are mourning. If our husband tragically died, I think that others would be supporting us and lifting us up. They would be more understanding of our pain and less quick to tell us to move on. I don’t think that some people understand that this is a tragedy in our life and we have lost something very dear to us. Thank goodness for this site to support each other in this painful chapter of our life.
I don’t cry as often now, and the dog, who is usually under my feet, isn’t hiding upstairs as much so I must be feeling better! Funny how an animal can sense tension.
But sometimes it hits me totally unexpectedly, like when my son got engaged, or at my daughters graduation, or at her wedding dress fitting, when my other daughter was in 4th place and ran fast enough to take 1rst in track. Or my other daughters good news at Mayo yesterday. (all that happened this week!)
It seems the happy things hurt like heck right now. Isn’t that weird? Maybe it’s just relief crying. I keep telling myself to suck it up. Why do I let his shit pull me down when I should be rejoicing?And you’re right Cindy, this is as tragic as death, only the corpse is still walking around.
I am not crying now – almost a feeling of numbness. Everyday, I feel Steve is just covering up more because he knows I can’t really prove a word he says, and D-Day is August 17th. It used to be if I told him I knew 100% he lied he would sometimes admit it, but now it isn’t working that way. He denies all, but I know him so well, and my gut tells me otherwise.
Am hoping for results with the EMDR for resolving the trauma/ptsd. I would suggest EMDR for those of you who are still grieving, feeling depression, and crying after a reasonable length of time. I know it is somewhat controversial, but can’t hurt. I am not sure if it is helping, or I am just getting fed up and not feeling anything. (No trauma).
- The forum ‘Health’ is closed to new topics and replies.