Disclosing to the kids

SL,

Did you read my blog? LMAO – what you wrote summed up exactly what I was saying in it – that I think because we have such a great relationship to start with, we will be able to get through this. Not that it will be all sunshine and rainbows, but that if we handle this correctly, we can get through this.

A bit about why I think my boys (along with my daughter) have a good, no, great, relationship – it’s because of what I went through with my boys when they were so little. Their father was killed in a motorcycle accident and it brought us so much closer together. We are one of those hokie families that don’t leave the house without kissing goodbye and saying I love you – and meaning it. We’ve learned how precious life is and how quickly it can be taken away. As a result, we grew close and our bond is strong. D loved that about us and when he became a part of our family he was accepted into it in the same way and when that began to unravel in 2007 and fell apart in 2009 the boys became confused. I think the disclosure will help explain a lot for them. Now, he is back to where he was when we got married, he’s their “dad” again not just the guy I married.

Getting back to the subject though, D and I talked as a result of this thread. I gave him the good results and the not so good results of the talks. And, we agreed that it would be best to wait until R came home from break from college to sit him down at the dining room table where we’ve had other family talks instead of doing it over Skype. D wants to be able to look him in the eye, hug him if need be, and not mess with his head while he’s trying to focus at school. The timing will never be right, but this is better than telling him in two weeks or so and then waiting a month for him to come home.

As far as Valerie, D is going to send R and email and just let him know an old girlfriend is stalking him and leave it at that for now.

Flora-Oh, my heart breaks for you!! I flipping hate when their mess falls in our laps to clean up. And it happens all the time it seems. I’m glad you guys went to therapy together. I have the feeling that when it comes to my daughter, that will be the place we have to go too. The boys, not so much.

Ella-while I haven’t talked about porn to my daughter yet, I have made it clear that the women on TV are fake. I’ve shown her pictures of celebrities without their makeup and things like that. Also, when we watch music videos, I let her know the women are dress like ho’s…cause they are 😉

Thanks again everyone Your support is overwhelming!!