Disclosure on Friday

Dear Trish,
I am so so sorry for you pain and sickened by what he has put you through! I hate their dishonesty! For me that was one of the most painful things, the total lack of honesty–nothing revealed voluntarily to help me make important decisions about my life.
I think maybe one of the biggest dangers of disclosure could be the illusion that we finally have the truth. Im just not sure these men are capable of being truthful, “disclosure” or not.
Again, Im just so sorry and saddened for you. He was a lucky man, we all know how willing you were to stand by him, even though we also know the pain of that. The fact that he would continue to be a lying coward is simply unconscionable.
Sending hugs..

Please don’t say that, Trish. He wins, if that were true. You will have the best revenge by moving on, finding happiness, and shining. To come through this is such a nightmare, but it can only get better from here! We all believe in you, please believe in yourself. You are alive and breathing, he doesn’t win.

Trish, it is all just too devastating and shocking for words. It hurls us into a world that is so damn surreal. Can you get to your beach cottage asap? xoxo

Trish, how I wish I could help ease your pain. Anything I can do I will. I am scheduled to visit an old friend in the North Myrtle beach area Fri-Sun. If you want company I will come and sit with you on the beach and drink and swear and hold your hand. Or just sit.

Love you

He is dead, he just doesn’t know it.

Okay, reading back over this thread that sounded like a threat. It isn’t. I just mean that he’s about the emptiest human being I’ve heard of. Has to be, to be able to approach this the way he has, with a woman like you, Trish. He’s just vacant and dead and I’m so sorry that he put you through all that to just find out he is a shell of a man.

And all that we know of you, Trish, the wonderful children, the beautiful people your children are marrying, dedicated friendships, ALL that is because of your love throughout your life. There’s no way he can take that down. Even though he has caused you a devastating blow, your love and life force are so far out of his league it’s ridiculous.

Trish. I KNOW the pain is unbearable. All of us who have husbands who interact sexually in the flesh, know that it is like a hot serrated knife to the gut, slowly plunged in and out repeatedly. It feels like it will kill you, but it won’t. It makes you want to lay down and die but you will not. It can seem that your life is wasted and has no purpose, but it does. I can tell you with absolute certainty that the pain will ease, your life will go on and you will feel joy again. Frankly, your husband is NOT significant enough on any front to be capable of snuffing out a life force like yours, even with a loaded gun. It is going to hurt a lot and for some time but you will come out the other end and be stronger for it. In the meantime, know that we all love you and are rooting for you and hurting for you and raging for you and that we all have complete faith in you. I hope the collective energy we send will somehow ease the pain in a small way. You are not alone. You are embraced by so many women who have survived that serrated knife. We will help you anyway we can.
Love karen

Trish,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. And for the way you went through it. I’m going to say about him what Bev said about dr. e- Tim is a pussy. He is freakin’ coward for what he has done to you, and it makes me sick that his therapist played right along with him. Fuck that, Trish. Seriously, it had us ready to go picket in the streets somewhere- I guess it’s good that we are just a virtual group or you would have seen us on the news.

Of course it hurts like hell because you suffered not only finding out devastating information but found out in such an abusive way. OMG, I would be so angry and hurt and humiliated and traumatized. Tim hit you with bus and then when you started to get up, he backed it right back over you.

I can tell you what, though, Trish. You have a heart of gold, and your kids and future grandkids and that house on the beach are all waiting for you. So lick your wounds and take care of yourself because you have so much to offer to the world and to people who will love and cherish you. You know you have a big fan club here at SOS. We are all holding you in our thoughts.

Trish that pain is just so excrutiating, I know. You really did not deserve this. I am sending you hugs and pray that in the end you will be able to laugh again and face your future without any more pain. I am so so so sorry Trish.

Oh, Trish, one step at a time, get out of bed, brush your teeth, put on clothes, and everything else is optional. Actually, those things are optional, too. Feel the anger at him and the concern for you radiating from around the world.

Oh my Fucking God!!! I’m sorry to bring this thread back up, Trish, but I just had to comment. I was away during this time & have been wondering how your disclosure went so when I saw others’ comments about him having had an affair, I went back & found this thread. I can’t fucking believe it! I guess it was wishful thinking but I thought (or hoped?), like some of the others, that your h. was different. That maybe porn was all it really was & that he never went “live”. Hell, he went “live” before you even married that mother fucker. Your kids will fry him if the truth every comes out!!! I am so sorry & so freakin angry for you. Let this be a lesson for every sister who joins this site & thinks that their h. “only” looked at porn. It is never “just” porn. Hear that & believe it!

Trish, I hope the silver-lining for you is that now you know. There is no getting over this & now you can move on to your beach cottage & a beautiful new life for yourself. You’re beautiful & strong & courageous and that ass-wipe does not deserve you!